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Thank you all for the feedback so far. I totally understand if this story has rubbed some of you the wrong way; I'm self-aware of my ****-ups and am owning up to them, though I wish I'd done so much, much earlier.
Believe it or not she did reciprocate my feelings somewhat, though nowhere near to the extent of what I'd felt (which I understand in hindsight,as they were alarmingly deep). That's what led to that date (a genuine, proper date). She wasn't callous at all in letting me down; she did so politely and regretfully.
We even went to catch a movie a month or so after said date, though it was more subdued and platonic (which I intended, as I didn't want to scare her off as I did the first time). Unfortunately the movie sucked as did that outing; it didn't feel like we were on the same wavelength anymore. Perhaps she felt like she was giving off mixed signals as she grew distant shortly after this.
Deep down, and well beyond treating this as a game of winners and losers, not handling rejection gracefully and letting my ego and emotions turn me into this ugly, petty person...I'm just heartbroken that I gave it my all and it didn't work out. I never meant to hurt anyone. But I'm genuinely trying to grow and not make the same mistakes again...I want to be happy, and to share that happiness with someone.
If so, there was never an "love triangle" in the first place.
She didn't reciprocate your feelings. Going on a date with you did not mean she was romantically interested in you. She went on the date either because she thought you were going as friends or because she wanted to use it as an opportunity to explain to you that she was not interested in you romantically (and either had a boyfriend or just told you that as an excuse).
Your main mistake was getting too invested in a girl who only saw you as friends before you figured out that being friends was her only level of interest in you. Your other mistake was to continue to try to hang out with someone who told you she was involved with someone else.
Last edited by Just A Guy; 01-15-2016 at 09:21 AM..
If so, there was never an "love triangle" in the first place.
She didn't reciprocate your feelings. Going on a date with you did not mean she was romantically interested in you. She went on the date either because she thought you were going as friends or because she wanted to use it as an opportunity to explain to you that she was not interested in you romantically (and either had a boyfriend or just told you that as an excuse).
Your main mistake was getting too invested in a girl who only saw you as friends before you figured out that being friends was her only level of interest in you. Your other mistake was to continue to try to hang out with someone who told you she was involved with someone else.
Totally different girl and job, though there are many similarities in both of these cases which is something I'm also keenly aware of. Took me falling down twice to truly realize a) not to **** where I work and b) not be fast and loose with my feelings. I'm glad to say that this unrelated girl ended up becoming, and still is one of my closest friends.
Totally different girl and job, though there are many similarities in both of these cases which is something I'm also keenly aware of. Took me falling down twice to truly realize a) not to **** where I work and b) not be fast and loose with my feelings. I'm glad to say that this unrelated girl ended up becoming, and still is one of my closest friends.
So, in both cases, they were never into you, but you seem to still think they originally had feelings for you when clearly they did not. You still seem to think you made some kind of tactical mistake and that's why they didn't like you, which is totally not true either.
Last edited by Just A Guy; 01-15-2016 at 09:56 AM..
So, in both cases, they were never into you, but you seem to still think they originally had feelings for you when clearly they did not. You still seem to think you made some kind of tactical mistake and that's why they didn't like you, which is totally not true either.
Totally different girl and job, though there are many similarities in both of these cases which is something I'm also keenly aware of. Took me falling down twice to truly realize a) not to **** where I work and b) not be fast and loose with my feelings. I'm glad to say that this unrelated girl ended up becoming, and still is one of my closest friends.
Raymond, I don't think you're being honest here.
In that second thread, the timeline (post dates and length of work) matches up perfectly for this to be the same girl. In fact, it would be better if it WERE the same girl because at least you wouldn't have this embarrassing pattern.
In that second thread, the timeline (post dates and length of work) matches up perfectly for this to be the same girl. In fact, it would be better if it WERE the same girl because at least you wouldn't have this embarrassing pattern.
Interesting. Seems as if there is more to this story.
I certainly hope the OP has seen his error and no longer feels that he was "wronged" by these women (or woman) who did not reciprocate his feelings. How he could still consider this a "triangle" of any sort is beyond me, though.
In that second thread, the timeline (post dates and length of work) matches up perfectly for this to be the same girl. In fact, it would be better if it WERE the same girl because at least you wouldn't have this embarrassing pattern.
They're honestly not one and the same Wmsn4Life . I've been through a hodgepodge of P/T, F/T, temp and unpaid work over the last three years. I simultaneously held down a temp job and unpaid internship (which turned into my current job) some time ago, hence the overlap when you piece both stories together.
I did meet both around the same time period, yes. I was initially attracted to both due to the common ground we shared, yes. I did develop unrequited feelings for both, yes. But that's where the similarities end.
Girl #1 was and still is in an LTR; we NEVER went on a date. We just hung out for lunch. Yes I was under the wrong impression at the time, but it was a no-go from the beginning.
Girl #2 explicitly told me that she'd been single for years prior to our date when I asked her out, and that she wouldn't mind going.
Yes this is an embarrassing pattern, but it'd be even more embarrassing if I'd been stuck on one girl for 2+years after countless threads and advice on C-D, which isn't the case.
They're honestly not one and the same Wmsn4Life . I've been through a hodgepodge of P/T, F/T, temp and unpaid work over the last three years. I simultaneously held down a temp job and unpaid internship (which turned into my current job) some time ago, hence the overlap when you piece both stories together.
I did meet both around the same time period, yes. The situation with Girl #1 had been over and done with some six months prior to me catching feelings for Girl #2. For example, Girl #1 was and still is in an LTR; we NEVER went on a date. We just hung out for lunch. Girl #2 explicitly told me that she'd been single for years prior to our date when I asked her out, and that she wouldn't mind going.
Yes it is an embarrassing pattern, but it'd be even more embarrassing if I'd been stuck on one girl for 2+years after countless threads and advice on C-D, which isn't the case.
I think you should be more embarrassed about not understanding that you didn't do something strategically wrong and that's why the interest wasn't reciprocated. Holding the girl's hand had nothing to do with it. She wouldn't have been interested anyway.
I certainly hope the OP has seen his error and no longer feels that he was "wronged" by these women (or woman) who did not reciprocate his feelings. How he could still consider this a "triangle" of any sort is beyond me, though.
And where exactly did he say he was "wronged"?
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