How to find peace and closure with being on the losing end of a love triangle? (men, call)
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I think you should be more embarrassed about not understanding that you didn't do something strategically wrong and that's why the interest wasn't reciprocated. Holding the girl's hand had nothing to do with it. She wouldn't have been interested anyway.
You will have a lot more success if you figure out there is nothing wrong with expressing your interest, either verbally or with actions. What is wrong is second guessing yourself or not being OK if someone doesn't return that interest.
They're honestly not one and the same Wmsn4Life . I've been through a hodgepodge of P/T, F/T, temp and unpaid work over the last three years. I simultaneously held down a temp job and unpaid internship (which turned into my current job) some time ago, hence the overlap when you piece both stories together.
I did meet both around the same time period, yes. I was initially attracted to both due to the common ground we shared, yes. I did develop unrequited feelings for both, yes. But that's where the similarities end.
Girl #1 was and still is in an LTR; we NEVER went on a date. We just hung out for lunch. Yes I was under the wrong impression at the time, but it was a no-go from the beginning.
Girl #2 explicitly told me that she'd been single for years prior to our date when I asked her out, and that she wouldn't mind going.
Yes this is an embarrassing pattern, but it'd be even more embarrassing if I'd been stuck on one girl for 2+years after countless threads and advice on C-D, which isn't the case.
Ok, good.
Either way, not every woman YOU like is going to reciprocate, and like I said before, they aren't obligated to.
So the goal, to me, is to learn to regulate your emotions better so you can break this pattern of investing too much before there's anything of substance there and subsequently turning around and blaming yourself.
OP wasn't wronged he just felt like he was, emotions aren't always rational, especially when it comes to rejection. It seems like he realizes this and is working on it, not sure why some of the tones in here are so hostile.
Getting straight to the point is not hostile, some of us can see the real issue here and we are addressing those facts now whether the OP wants to take the constructive criticism is on him but no one is attacking the OP personally. He has a history of this behavior and it needs to stop period or things are not going to turn for the good for him.
This is a perfect example of how guys end up with sexual harassment suits and restraining orders because they don't want to accept rejection and understand not everyone they're interested in is going to be interested in them and there's nothing they can do to change that. OPs behavior can lead to bigger problems & issues if he doesn't get control over his emotions especially since he's approaching women in the work place.
If OP would stop trying to persuade women to be interested in him he'd stop having these issues. Either a woman is interested or she's not and if she's not move on and stop thinking it's something you can do to change her mind. OP is the classic case of the "nice guy" that thinks being nice and trying to be everything she wants him to be will make her want him when the reality is it doesn't. It's also why some men become resentful and bitter because they think being the "nice guy" will absolve them from rejection when it doesn't.
Getting straight to the point is not hostile, some of us can see the real issue here and we are addressing those facts now whether the OP wants to take the constructive criticism is on him but no one is attacking the OP personally. He has a history of this behavior and it needs to stop period or things are not going to turn for the good for him.
This is a perfect example of how guys end up with sexual harassment suits and restraining orders because they don't want to accept rejection and understand not everyone they're interested in is going to be interested in them and there's nothing they can do to change that. OPs behavior can lead to bigger problems & issues if he doesn't get control over his emotions especially since he's approaching women in the work place.
If OP would stop trying to persuade women to be interested in him he'd stop having these issues. Either a woman is interested or she's not and if she's not move on and stop thinking it's something you can do to change her mind. OP is the classic case of the "nice guy" that thinks being nice and trying to be everything she wants him to be will make her want him when the reality is it doesn't. It's also why some men become resentful and bitter because they think being the "nice guy" will absolve them from rejection when it doesn't.
Actually Wmsn's post and Just A Guy's posts were constructive.
Your posts seem to vilify the OP as a cad rather then somebody who needed direction.
Getting straight to the point is not hostile, some of us can see the real issue here and we are addressing those facts now whether the OP wants to take the constructive criticism is on him but no one is attacking the OP personally. He has a history of this behavior and it needs to stop period or things are not going to turn for the good for him.
This is a perfect example of how guys end up with sexual harassment suits and restraining orders because they don't want to accept rejection and understand not everyone they're interested in is going to be interested in them and there's nothing they can do to change that. OPs behavior can lead to bigger problems & issues if he doesn't get control over his emotions especially since he's approaching women in the work place.
If OP would stop trying to persuade women to be interested in him he'd stop having these issues. Either a woman is interested or she's not and if she's not move on and stop thinking it's something you can do to change her mind. OP is the classic case of the "nice guy" that thinks being nice and trying to be everything she wants him to be will make her want him when the reality is it doesn't. It's also why some men become resentful and bitter because they think being the "nice guy" will absolve them from rejection when it doesn't.
Actually Wmsn's post and Just A Guy's posts were constructive.
Your posts seem to vilify the OP as a cad rather then somebody who needed direction.
She is strongly cautioning him, and is giving good advice. I'm sure the OP is mature enough to take constructive criticism.
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