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I think that you cannot help who you heart falls in love with, no matter if the person has children or not, no matter if they havde never been married or not.
What happens, happens, and you cannot help it, one way or the other. Once the heart decides, the soul, mind, and body follow suit.
You never know who it will be, I suppose, however, you can TRY to control it... I don't know...
- never been married
- didn't have like 50 boyfriends in the past
- no kids
- no heavy religious background
- no mommys/daddys girl, living her own life
i just don't have anything in common with people that have kids, a religious background and a boring life. i'm german born, moved out of my parents house when i was 18 and started working, moved to the US when I was 22 and lived in rural kansas (exchange student for one semester). now i'm 24 and work in miami, fl. where will i end up next? no idea, but i know for sure that i'm not going to stay here forever. maybe boston, denver or back to europe? who knows where life takes me.
everytime i read something like "omg what to do, single mom, can't afford living with my 3 children" on this forum i say to myself "don't you ever forget to bring a condom!" because I do not want to get somebody else or myself stuck with children and the wrong person in the wrong place.
This will inevitably pi** some women posters off. I have always tried to date childless professional women, preferably never married as well. I feel that there is way too much in common and they've traveled the same road I have.
I think it is great that you know what you want and only seek that out. That is a good thing. More people should do this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
I can't stand when a woman with kids, who may be interested, immediately begins to talk about her kids to you...as if you really care about kids produced by and loyal to another man, assuming he's even minimally in the picture. It's an incredible conflict of interests. I just walk away.
I don’t think this pisses woman off, I think it just may be your condescending tone here. A never married woman with no kids may be turned off by this comment. Maybe they have nieces or nephews that they adore and love to spend time with. Your attitude towards children could also be a turn off for some of them. Again, nothing wrong at all with not wanting kids or to be with someone who has them at all though.
It's all in your presentation and how things are worded. Let’s put it this way, I have a very high sex drive, let’s say I was looking for a man and wanted to the same in a partner, I could say it two ways:
Good way:
I am a woman with a very high sex drive and I am looking for a man who is the same. I love a man with a high sex drive and likes to make love at least 5times a week.
Bad way:
I am a woman with a very high sex drive looking for man with same. Pain in the a$$es who need Viagra to get it up need not apply. Two-pump chumps need not apply either. If a man starts talking about any sexual difficulties I kick his rear to the door.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
One disturbing thing I see is that a lot of never-married women have an intimacy problem. They can be incredibly cold. Two very attractive never-married women I know admitted to being incestually molested as children and have spent a lot of time in therapy. I can't change that and am sorry that they are missing out on emotional and yes, even PHYSICAL, intimacy which I enjoy a LOT. One talk show said it has occurred to 1 in 7 women and that, for men, it's about half that figure. That's 14% of the female population...unbelievable.
Don’t know anything about this subject. However the 1 in 7 figure, I’m no expert, but it seems more woman than we realize are victims of sexual molestation or rape.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
And wouldn't you never-married women prefer to date a never-married or childless man? As for the latter, it seems so many women don't care...what, the dude's ejaculated and created offspring...does that make him more virile? C'mon.
If I was single again, I would probably prefer a widowed man with children. But that would be highly unlikely. I would prefer a man who is able to ejaculate for sure (but not for the purpose of producing offspring )
I am a divorced single mom of one. I do not date, too much of a hassle for me. I have at least 3 guy friends exactly like you and I feel sorry for them at times. IMO they are completely self absorbed and still very child like. They are in their late 30's and believe they can snag an early 20 something, no kids, no EX hubby, millionaire heiress with a drop dead gorgeous body and huge ****.......seriously, I am not kidding here. I am not saying this is your plan of action, but I feel a lot of unmarried professional men are not realistic. I am not saying compromise your own wants and needs but you would give up your dream woman b/c she has a child??? FFS.
I am not saying this is your plan of action, but I feel a lot of unmarried professional men are not realistic. I am not saying compromise your own wants and needs but you would give up your dream woman b/c she has a child??? FFS.
No, that list isn't on my list...the 20ish bimbo you describe...having nothing in common with them... I was thinking more along the lines of late 30s to early 40s, SWF, educated, reasonably attractive, has a job, no kids...someone whose demographics are similar to mine.
And a few quotes really talk about how the heart will overrule...i.e. dream woman. Let's be real. For adults, there are dealbreakers. For both men AND women. At work, a woman was complaining that 'she would never date a guy under 6'-0" '. She was tall. Her fiance was about 6'-1". I was thinking what if all of the exact same attributes of her boyfriend had come in a package that was 5-10 (my height) or even 5-11. Sounds like she would dismiss him. And I was thinking about this "No loss. Facially, she was nothing to write home about."
And men have similar dealbreakers. Religion is a deal breaker for me. I would never date a woman who is Jewish, Muslim or agnostic/atheist. So is "woman of your dreams" an emotional, swept off your feet kind of concept? The possession of those religious attributes, or lack thereof, would indicate that this is not a woman of my dreams. I'm Catholic and consider myself a practitioner; however, I would be open to someone of any of the Christian denominations (that's a large pool, mind you).
The kids is another deal breaker. I see mostly women responding to this thread because they are put in the defensive since there are many single moms out there who are dating /trying to date/have given up on dating. Again, I'm childless and, at this point, want a childless set-up...that means, the dogs, maybe cats, restaurants, travel. There was a time frame for young kids (26 to 37) and I missed it. I don't want it now, so therefore, I don't want someone elses. Now, I see that I have a little less energy and patience, so I don't want to deal with offspring of any sort. Therefore, just like the religion issue, the checking of the box "has kids" means it wouldn't be the woman of my dreams, just like you ladies might say "short....nah," "not a jock....nah," or "not a professional...nah." The cherrypicking, or desire to do so, works both ways.
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