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Old 04-16-2016, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Howaboutno?
181 posts, read 168,250 times
Reputation: 213

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
You're trying to make this about the posters, but it's about the OP, he's the one who doesn't want to leave the marriage yet.
I believe he said wifey will NEVER agree to divorce. He wants to, but doesn't realize sooner is better than punishing himself & waiting for some magical time that will never come. I think I know how to read.
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Old 04-16-2016, 11:11 PM
 
Location: in a parallel universe
2,648 posts, read 2,316,455 times
Reputation: 5894
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben theredundat View Post
A myth perpetuated on yet another lie.
Quote:
Men who have marital partners also live longer than men without spouses; men who marry after age 25 get more protection than those who tie the knot at a younger age, and the longer a man stays married, the greater his survival advantage over his unmarried peers.
Marriage and men's health - Harvard Health


face it dude.. You guys are lost without us.

Last edited by elliedeee; 04-17-2016 at 12:03 AM..
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Old 04-16-2016, 11:57 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,211 posts, read 107,931,771 times
Reputation: 116159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben theredundat View Post
Men aren't wired for this kind of life, despite all the lies we're told & we even tell ourselves. This pair bonding is in the best interest of everyone but men... The longer you put it off, the worse it will be. IF you decide to move ahead? Do you think it's going to improve over time or worsen? haha

Say goodbye to half of everything your worked for. Say hello to the parts of yourself you've been missing. The best solution is to never get married ITFP.
Honestly, I don't think this particular pair ever bonded. There's no sign of his ever caring about her enough to be concerned for what she was going through, and to support her in getting help, like a devoted hubby would. And did you read the part where he said he's been a family law specialist/lawyer his whole career? He doesn't need anyone to tell him what's at stake in case of a divorce. He knows more about it than you or anyone else here.
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Old 04-17-2016, 12:15 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,532 posts, read 34,863,037 times
Reputation: 73774
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben theredundat View Post
I believe he said wifey will NEVER agree to divorce. He wants to, but doesn't realize sooner is better than punishing himself & waiting for some magical time that will never come. I think I know how to read.
He also said she can't prevent it.
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Old 04-17-2016, 12:24 AM
 
Location: in a parallel universe
2,648 posts, read 2,316,455 times
Reputation: 5894
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Honestly, I don't think this particular pair ever bonded. There's no sign of his ever caring about her enough to be concerned for what she was going through, and to support her in getting help, like a devoted hubby would. And did you read the part where he said he's been a family law specialist/lawyer his whole career? He doesn't need anyone to tell him what's at stake in case of a divorce. He knows more about it than you or anyone else here.
I don't think they ever bonded either. I went back and reread his posts.. not once does he ever refer to her as his wife..

He always writes 'she'. He's very detached from her and from everything she's gone though. It's sad. I wonder if it was always that way.
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Old 04-17-2016, 12:52 AM
 
Location: Howaboutno?
181 posts, read 168,250 times
Reputation: 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliedeee View Post
face it dude.. You guys are lost without us.
Sponsored by the divorce industry who want men to believe it's in their best interest to sign their lives away. Give me enough money & a reason & I can deliver surveys that will fit any narrative your heart desires.

And of course, women, the primary beneficiaries of marriage (mirage) are going to repeat this lie. Why wouldn't they, it's in their best interest to sell this nonsense.

Next you'll tell me you believe the earth is round & spins at 1k MPH & I should too.
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:13 AM
 
Location: in a parallel universe
2,648 posts, read 2,316,455 times
Reputation: 5894
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben theredundat View Post
Sponsored by the divorce industry who want men to believe it's in their best interest to sign their lives away. Give me enough money & a reason & I can deliver surveys that will fit any narrative your heart desires.

And of course, women, the primary beneficiaries of marriage (mirage) are going to repeat this lie. Why wouldn't they, it's in their best interest to sell this nonsense.

Next you'll tell me you believe the earth is round & spins at 1k MPH & I should too.
You're so predictable..

I knew that quote would get to you... that's why I posted it.
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:13 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,251,824 times
Reputation: 62669
OP: Do you really believe divorce is your only option? Are you willing to sit down with your wife and have an actual discussion about all of the issues you both are facing? Is she willing to sit down with you and have this discussion.
Not a fight but a discussion, get it all out and see if there is anything left of your feelings and your marriage to save.
Whatever you choose I hope the end result is happiness for all involved.
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Old 04-17-2016, 04:56 AM
 
1,915 posts, read 1,481,472 times
Reputation: 3238
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben theredundat View Post
She's wack; but he should go to couseling? How do you fix a pot hole? Just make the rest of the road full of holes?
The OP is in a relationship where he says he's miserable but can't fathom leaving and he says his children tell him he's difficult to be around. Do you really think it's not worth a few dollars for his own peace of mind? It's not worth a little money for him to talk to someone neutral who might be able to help him see his situation clearly, help him to see if he's doing more damage by staying or should leave now, or if he might be able to salvage things, and help him with the relationship with his sons?
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Old 04-17-2016, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,795 posts, read 12,035,581 times
Reputation: 30431
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliedeee View Post
I don't think they ever bonded either. I went back and reread his posts.. not once does he ever refer to her as his wife..

He always writes 'she'. He's very detached from her and from everything she's gone though. It's sad. I wonder if it was always that way.
I agree with this, although another alternative to the detachment is that this isn't real. You just never know.
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