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Are there really that many men in society who can't tell whether or not a woman likes them, and Ponder over it for weeks or a month, seriously????
Are they hanging out with a bunch of people they're not sure that like them either? What if somebody comes along and tells them-- "hey these people that you think are your friends, they don't like you, you just can't tell."
Will they then be all alone?
And when I'm confused Ill ask a question, because I really don't know the answer--- why is it some people crap their pants and the next thing I know my questions deleted and i get scolded? Just dumb, how did they finish their day out at work there's no one to tattle on.... "this lady said a word that sounded kind of mean I'm not sure."
Are there really that many men in society who can't tell whether or not a woman likes them, and Ponder over it for weeks or a month, seriously????
Are they hanging out with a bunch of people they're not sure that like them either? What if somebody comes along and tells them-- "hey these people that you think are your friends, they don't like you, you just can't tell."
Will they then be all alone?
And when I'm confused Ill ask a question, because I really don't know the answer--- why is it some people crap their pants and the next thing I know my questions deleted and i get scolded? Just dumb, how did they finish their day out at work there's no one to tattle on.... "this lady said a word that sounded kind of mean I'm not sure."
I can't speak for other men, but I know I have a REALLY hard time grasping if a woman is into me unless she kind of overtly tells me. I definitely fall within the realm of the response given by Neil Gaiman to a young woman (I suspect it was done facetiously, but I still fit the bill) who queried about the best way to seduce a writer:
birdartpoetry asked: Mister Gaiman, you’re kickass. I was just wondering, what do you think is the best way to seduce a writer? I figured your answer would be pretty spectacular.
In my experience, writers tend to be really good at the inside of their own heads and imaginary people, and a lot less good at the stuff going on outside, which means that quite often if you flirt with us we will completely fail to notice, leaving everybody involved slightly uncomfortable and more than slightly unlaid.
So I would suggest that any attempted seduction of a writer would probably go a great deal easier for all parties if you sent them a cheerful note saying “YOU ARE INVITED TO A SEDUCTION: Please come to dinner on Friday Night. Wear the kind of clothes you would like to be seduced in.â€
And alcohol may help, too. Or kissing. Many writers figure out that they’re being seduced or flirted with if someone is actually kissing them.
I've had a few times in my life someone has said "She's interested in you. You should go ask her out," of someone I had absolutely no idea at all was interested.
Of course the other side of this coin is the following conundrum:
1. Maybe I'm a socially inept blunderer incapable of proper flirtation, or 2. Maybe nobody has a grasp on this stuff, because
...when I've followed up on such advice, it's never worked out in the slightest. Are they wrong about who's into whom? Are they right and I'm just mucking it up horribly? Seriously, who the hell knows?
The question itself is absolutely moot for me, as it were. I'm no longer in the game for such things, am quite finished with them. Done, kaput, finis, put the dog and the hat and the car back in their wrapper and get it all back in the box, shelve it. Archive it, even. No Go, no $200. Toddling off to other, more comprehensible things.
But such a question may aid some other poor bloke who's still interested.
Hm. I kind of want to ask my boyfriend if he picked up on everything that was going on at a party last Saturday night. There is a really cute young lady we both like quite a lot, and she said something about being sorry she couldn't come hang out with us more closely earlier because she was volunteering, and I said oh, no problem, I completely understand. She then said something (I'm paraphrasing) about "Well, naturally, when it's someone you're attracted to, you want to hang out with them" something to that effect, but the "someone you're attracted to" part was definitely in there.
Hello, darling...
Later as I was heading out the door, she dashed up to me and said she would be in touch to "set something up."
Well well. Thing is, I'm not sure if she even likes women, I'm not sure if she's attracted to me, or my boyfriend, but it's definitely one or both of us, and either way, I'm 100% enthusiastic about WHATEVER is on her mind right now. Because I dig her, I'd love it if she would get some kind of play on with my boyfriend. Because I dig her, I'd love it if she would get some kind of play on with me. Either way, it's a win all around. She's definitely got somethin' for somebody...
If he missed the "someone you're attracted to" comment (he was standing right there) I'm gonna laugh...but it would be just like him, for that to have flown right over his head...
If he missed the "someone you're attracted to" comment (he was standing right there) I'm gonna laugh...but it would be just like him, for that to have flown right over his head...
See, now I might pick up on that, but it does have to be put out there, more than physical cues and hints. I won't pick up on a physical hint unless a woman is staring right into my eyes in a way that says "I'd like to **** you." Or reaching out and touching me repeatedly.
Even then, I'm leery of it. Growing up with a nice body (broad shoulders and deep chest) it was shocking to me how often I thought some woman was into me simply because she walked up and started touching me, only to discover that if I began to flirt, or to physically press the matter, she was shocked that I was "getting that impression." I don't mean things like touching my elbow, I mean stuff like walking up, standing in front of me and rubbing her hands across my chest while looking at it and making yummy noises, up the chest, out the shoulders, squeeze the shoulders -- and then act aghast if I put my hands on her waist and pulled her closer. How often I've heard the words "It's different. You men LIKE when we do that!"
I recall one instance when a woman did that. She looked into my eyes and said "Because I can." She didn't appreciate when I put my hands under her boobs and hefted them -- because apparently I can't.
Yes, there are guys who just don't know which way is up, and I seem to be one of them. I used to think y'all confused me. Now I just think society is warped.
Are there really that many men in society who can't tell whether or not a woman likes them, and Ponder over it for weeks or a month, seriously????
Are they hanging out with a bunch of people they're not sure that like them either? What if somebody comes along and tells them-- "hey these people that you think are your friends, they don't like you, you just can't tell."
Will they then be all alone?
And when I'm confused Ill ask a question, because I really don't know the answer--- why is it some people crap their pants and the next thing I know my questions deleted and i get scolded? Just dumb, how did they finish their day out at work there's no one to tattle on.... "this lady said a word that sounded kind of mean I'm not sure."
I can read signals well enough, but I can't always make myself believe my perception, and in my case there's nothing much at stake since I'm in a relationship and not looking. But now and then a woman smiles at me, for example, and I then get this urge to ask someone nearby why people might be laughing at me. And I think I know the difference between smiling and laughing, since smiling very seldom includes a snort. So a no snort kind of smile is probably supposed to generate a nice feeling ? That would be a pleasant departure from the self analysis it usually prompts.
See, now I might pick up on that, but it does have to be put out there, more than physical cues and hints. I won't pick up on a physical hint unless a woman is staring right into my eyes in a way that says "I'd like to **** you." Or reaching out and touching me repeatedly.
Even then, I'm leery of it. Growing up with a nice body (broad shoulders and deep chest) it was shocking to me how often I thought some woman was into me simply because she walked up and started touching me, only to discover that if I began to flirt, or to physically press the matter, she was shocked that I was "getting that impression." I don't mean things like touching my elbow, I mean stuff like walking up, standing in front of me and rubbing her hands across my chest while looking at it and making yummy noises, up the chest, out the shoulders, squeeze the shoulders -- and then act aghast if I put my hands on her waist and pulled her closer. How often I've heard the words "It's different. You men LIKE when we do that!"
I recall one instance when a woman did that. She looked into my eyes and said "Because I can." She didn't appreciate when I put my hands under her boobs and hefted them -- because apparently I can't.
Yes, there are guys who just don't know which way is up, and I seem to be one of them. I used to think y'all confused me. Now I just think society is warped.
Well, Squatch, amigo, here's the deal with that.
It's a case of wrong-thinking women not grasping that two wrongs don't make a right. Used to feeling powerless and pushed around in life, the moment they find some instance where they can feel powerful ("empowered?") they are taking advantage of it. When we were in middle school, a lot of us suddenly realized that the boys were socialized not to hit women, and we were suddenly also bigger than them. So some girls of about that age, bully boys in school. "Because they can."
Then later, especially when women are drinking, they get this idea that they can "get away with" consent violations against men, or being lewd or over the top in what they say or do, and it won't be demonized as harassment or assault or something, as it would be if a man did it, since everyone knows they're only women and pose no particular threat or anything. They feel they can have the fun and not pay the price. And that men will probably appreciate the attention, anyhow. Well, some of us pulled some shenanigans like that when we were teenage kids, and outgrew it pretty quick upon maturity into adults. But some never quite outgrew that bad behavior. They do it because it makes them feel powerful, and that's exactly why they expect you to take it and not do anything back. Of course it's wrong, and a woman with class and sense and respect won't act that way.
What is a hoot, is that some of these women will absolutely to it to other women (again, especially when drunk) also. There was a Laotian woman who was on our pool team, she'd get hammered every night, and it was Ladies' League, so very few men in the bar. She'd be out front grabbing boobs and hooting and laughing and calling other women "heifers." I found her entertaining...in small doses.
...and calling other women "heifers." I found her entertaining...in small doses.
Heifers. People are just weird, and funny sometimes. Mostly weird.
Speaking of heifers, I just stopped on the road the other day because I could tell a cow up the hill was in the early stages of labor, and was explaining the signs to my son.
Heifers. People are just weird, and funny sometimes. Mostly weird.
Speaking of heifers, I just stopped on the road the other day because I could tell a cow up the hill was in the early stages of labor, and was explaining the signs to my son.
Heifers.
Imagine a tiny Laotian woman, drunk out of her mind, grabbing someone's boob and jiggling it while shrieking and laughing, "AAAAAAaaa HEFFA!"
Madness at Ladies' APA pool night.
She disappeared...I think she moved back to DC. She had a well paying government job. I hope she did not go out drinking with her co-workers.
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