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Okay, it's hard to explain unless you see it in action.
But imagine this:
I am very aware that men can be disgusting animals. I've seen men do and say horrible things to women. As a result of being raised to be a gentleman, I also am aware of my body language and other people's physical space.
I do not encroach upon a woman's space. I keep my voice neutral and do not in any way make flirtatious overtures (actually one of my woman buddies told me that when a guy DOESN'T act flirtatious it can make a woman insecure and think the guy is messing with their heads).
When we converse, the conversation will flow smoothly as if I was talking to anyone. But I have noticed that the longer the conversation goes, the woman seems to be a little more rigid as if she's expecting me to make some advance that never arrives.
Again, if this happened across the board I wouldn't say anything, but guys I meet in the same situations NEVER BRING up girlfriends or whatever whereas women will bring it up with me and some of my less-attractive colleagues. Then my pretty boy buddies (WHEN TALKING TO THE SAME WOMAN) will note that the woman never brought up having a significant other.
I'm not making this up. I swear.
If the women suddenly become rigid, maybe they are misreading you? I don't know you good looking friends but maybe women they meet figure good looking men wouldn't be interested in them but think maybe you would be. It's really hard for me to say without actually being there. Don't let it get to you too much since you aren't interested in these women anyway. Maybe you can turn it around from something that bugs you to something funny by making a humorous game out of it and see how long it takes them to mention a boyfriend. Or maybe that's something only with my off beat sense of humor would enjoy.
A lot of us females have had experience with some of these self proclaimed " nice guys" who in reality are not nice guys at all.. They feign being nice in order to get " in the door". When they fail... It's not them, it's her that's some kind of conceited ***** who feels she's too good for them. ( sour grapes).
Whenever I see a thread that starts out with what a nice person the OP says they are... I am skeptical. These types tend to build themselves up to make them look all innocent ( and to elicit sympathy from the reader) while painting the person they're having issues with as the culprit.... Just sayin.
Why does everyone always make issue for holding door open?
Hell if I go through the door, of course I will hold it open for the person behind me whether be man or woman. Just say thanks and be done with it. A quick shoulder check to make sure door don't slam in someone's face is all it takes. Common courtesy......
Why does everyone always make issue for holding door open?
Hell if I go through the door, of course I will hold it open for the person behind me whether be man or woman. Just say thanks and be done with it. A quick shoulder check to make sure door don't slam in someone's face is all it takes. Common courtesy......
It appears from the other men commenting, that they don't have this happen, or it's uncommon, and they seem to think that you are making much ado about nothing.
If this happens to you often, then it seems like that is outside the norm based on what other guys here say. Given that you are not a creepy weirdo, why do you think this happens to you? Do you have any theories?
Does it offend you in some way when they do this? Do you take it personally? Bringing the topic up for discussion makes it seem like it does.
I can understand how it would be slightly off-putting to have someone mistake your intentions and "reject you" when you are not even interested.
The closest thing to it that I can relate to is when guy I was dating once very firmly told me that he was not going to give up his female friends just because he was dating me and that if I had a problem with that, I could walk away.
OK, well, I had no problem with his friends. I had not mentioned his friends, male or female, so I was more than a little bit stunned by his lecture and I was offended too. I think I just looked at him and said "Okay, whatever". I thought it was weird that he would even mention it in the first place.
Why does everyone always make issue for holding door open?
Hell if I go through the door, of course I will hold it open for the person behind me whether be man or woman. Just say thanks and be done with it. A quick shoulder check to make sure door don't slam in someone's face is all it takes. Common courtesy......
I agree I always hold the door for anyone behind me.
I agree I always hold the door for anyone behind me.
I have been doing this all my life, and I'm a woman. It's how I was raised - to be courteous to the next person. It isn't a gender thing, a chivalry thing, or an uppity bleatch thing.
And I certainly wouldn't stop being courteous for the rest of my days, based on some random strangers' perceived misbehavior. I think assigning some random individual's outlandish reaction/behavior to an entire gender is immature, but we all do the best we can.
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