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Old 08-07-2016, 01:44 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,291 posts, read 52,734,263 times
Reputation: 52794

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"Hello, my name is Bob, my credit score is 625, I have 30k in credit card debt and I live with my mom."
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Old 08-07-2016, 02:02 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,026,442 times
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Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
"Hello, my name is Bob, my credit score is 625, I have 30k in credit card debt and I live with my mom."
Add, But I am blessed below the belt
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Old 08-07-2016, 02:10 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,533,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
Add, But I am blessed below the belt
What if you're not????

Lie and say your credit score is over 700?
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Old 08-07-2016, 02:13 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,026,442 times
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Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
What if you're not????

Lie and say your credit score is over 700?
And that you have your own room with cable and air conditioning
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Old 08-07-2016, 02:29 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,533,575 times
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Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
And that you have your own room with cable and air conditioning
And offer an " enticing and eventful night in "....... Having mouse traps all over the place and turn the lights off!!
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Old 08-07-2016, 02:53 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,291 posts, read 52,734,263 times
Reputation: 52794
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
Add, But I am blessed below the belt
That's right, packing that hammer son!!!!!!!
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Old 08-08-2016, 10:12 AM
 
2,867 posts, read 1,542,441 times
Reputation: 8652
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond Stereo View Post
Steady F/T work or bust.
That is the answer. You might have to wait until you get a fulltime job.

It is great that you have no debt. A lot of people in this country have student loan debt that I would not touch with a ten-foot pole. It is sad. It is also something to think about in these women you date. Maybe the question is not that you live at home and work parttime. Maybe the question is if they have a lot of debt from student loans and from being "independent" and living in New York City. Your situation can change very quickly with a good job offer. IF they have debt like that their situations will go on for years and it does not look good for them if they are financing the appearance of being independent by going into debt. Who is really the independent one? The guy who just needs to get regular work or the girl who will spend the next 25 years paying off her lifestyle on top of her education? There are a lot of phonies in New York City who look like they are doing well and are really carrying $30,000 plus in credit card debt. Maybe they are dumping you because they are looking for someone who can rescue them.

There are a lot of trust-fund kids in New York City too. If a young lady does not have debt and she has a regular job not in fields like medicine or law then maybe her parents are paying her rent. There is a lot of that in New York City too. You don't want a girlfriend who just expects you to pay for her because that is what her parents have been doing and that is what she is used to either.

Think about what YOU want. YOU should be finding out what THEIR situation is too!
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Old 08-08-2016, 10:30 AM
 
2,867 posts, read 1,542,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post
And that, my friends, is precisely why so many people seem to fail when it comes to dates and relationships in general.

As long as I can remember, it was always basic dating 'etiquette' to never talk about certain things on your first or first few dates, chief among these your ex or anything that comes across as whiny or woe is me. Maybe even never is better.

I just cannot understand why people cannot grasp this simple concept. Nothing turns me off more than a person on a date that mentions their ex, or goes off on tangents and confessionals about how bad and miserable their life is. If you expect me to find such things 'touching' you must live in some alternate reality.

Come on people, that's not being 'refreshing' and 'honest,' that's called being rude and inconsiderate. If you want to bemoan your fate in life, then go to a psychiatrist.

A first date is where people try to feel each other out, see if there's some basic chemistry, a time to keep it relatively light and fun. And future dates should expand on that. It's not a time for a confessional dump.

So, so easy a concept, yet people continue to mess this up.
This is true but remember that livelihood and living situations come up in conversation, "what do you do?" or "what area do you live in?" "I am a whatever and I live in the Village. It is stupidly expensive but that is Manhattan for you so I share with two other girls." They are going to expect him to talk about himself next. It is just that living at home at 29 is going to cause more questions than having roommates in Manhattan will, like why doesn't he just get roommates too?
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Old 08-08-2016, 11:49 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,495,600 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DontH8Me View Post
I like this advice, but experience tells me he may pooh-pooh these suggestions, if not outright, then subconsciously.

He stated that he's 'holding on (to crappy non-profit PT job) until something better comes along'. These are the words of someone who is waiting for life to happen to him, not exactly the words of someone with the drive to achieve, the courage to take matters into their own hands if you will.

Very passive. OP, is it possible that this apparent passivity is the reason dates are not 'panning out'?
He also said, "I'm trying my damnedest, but haven't caught a break yet." In my experience, breaks don't just drop by to be caught. You have to proactively pursue and/or make your own breaks.

Then again, OP, having given notice on your job may be just what it take to spur you on to bigger and better things. Best of luck!
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Old 08-08-2016, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,732,494 times
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On the first date you only show her the good things about yourself so that when you tell her the other stuff, it doesn't seem that bad, compared to what she saw/heard on the first date.
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