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It's about him and the feelings he gets when he's around you. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he has an impeccable record as a trainer and has never crossed the professional boundary til now.
It is tempting to consider that you are SO attractive and irresistible that he couldn't help himself and his feelings. But it's more logical to consider that he has been going through a hellish time with his marriage and has been telling himself that he deserves some happiness for a change. You provide those feelings.
He enjoys knowing that instead of thinking about being a soon-to-be-divorced middle-aged guy he is now a soon-to-be-divorced middle aged guy who can still attract a 20-something. It's very hard to resist.
But it's not a romance, and it's not about his feelings FOR YOU.
That's why you need to back off and separate yourself.
I wasn't sure of his feelings for me, and I thought maybe he didn't have any feelings for me at all and it was all in my mind, that's what caused me to write this post because I don't know if I am seeing things, or if he does have feelings.
I don't know a great deal about his relationship with his wife but it seems amicable.
So what you are saying is, it's not about me it's about the fact he can attract someone almost half his age?
I'm really really trying not to get carried away with it, i'm trying to use my head and think that he has no feelings for me at all and just continue with my life as normal but I'm finding it really difficult.
Aww... You sound like a nice person who is just getting caught in the web of infatuation.
What girl wouldn't be over the top if a guy with big muscles showed them attention?
Do you want kids? He's probably done having kids.
Do you want to help raise HIS kids every other weekend? Have dealings with the Mom of those kids?
If he's giving you gifts and you're cuddling, chances are pretty strong that he's attracted to you and very much so. Just know that once those feelings are expressed and mutual, there's no putting that genie back in the bottle.
Good luck! Do the right thing.
I don't think he goes out of his way to buy me gifts though, the cuddles are not that often but occasionally, its more of a long hug not like we lie down cuddling for hours sort of cuddle. Thank you for your help, would it be OK if I messaged you?
I didn't ignore your last two sentences, I said they have broken up - they are obviously still married until they divorce so it getting back to his wife wouldn't be an issue.
Is he legally separated and living apart from his wife? If so, how long have they been living apart?
Aww... You sound like a nice person who is just getting caught in the web of infatuation.
What girl wouldn't be over the top if a guy with big muscles showed them attention?
Do you want kids? He's probably done having kids.
Do you want to help raise HIS kids every other weekend? Have dealings with the Mom of those kids?
Maybe those thoughts will help you.
Thank you, you have all been great too, helping me realise how stupid I am being about this.
I didn't really fall for his muscles and his looks, it was more his personality, he's just so kind and caring, I've never really had that in a man before. Maybe it's because he has experience or is older.
I'm on the fence about children, I'm very career driven and I'm already heading towards my 30s at a quick pace.
I honestly wouldn't mind him leaving me out of it and raising his kids or if he wanted me to help I would help as well if that's what he wanted. I think he would still be friends with his wife, he's always stayed friends with past ex girlfriends and he seems to have very amicable break ups where it's more of an agreed parting than a break up. But that is just his side of the story.
I'm really really trying not to get carried away with it, i'm trying to use my head and think that he has no feelings for me at all and just continue with my life as normal but I'm finding it really difficult.
Are you looking for an actual long-term relationship that may even end up being permanent? If so, don't go for this guy.
Or are you more looking for something a bit more short or medium term and less serious? If so, this guy is definitely the one for you. He is into you for sure.
Is he legally separated and living apart from his wife? If so, how long have they been living apart?
No they aren't legally separated, and I'm not overly sure what the living situation is at the moment, I didn't want to ask a million questions about it when he told me as he doesn't really owe me anything we haven't even both said we like each other. I could be completely wrong about it.
I don't think he goes out of his way to buy me gifts though, the cuddles are not that often but occasionally, its more of a long hug not like we lie down cuddling for hours sort of cuddle. Thank you for your help, would it be OK if I messaged you?
I wasn't sure of his feelings for me, and I thought maybe he didn't have any feelings for me at all and it was all in my mind, that's what caused me to write this post because I don't know if I am seeing things, or if he does have feelings.
I don't know a great deal about his relationship with his wife but it seems amicable.
So what you are saying is, it's not about me it's about the fact he can attract someone almost half his age?
That is most likely part of it.
I don't doubt he has "feelings" but the question is what kind of feelings? And are they the kind that could form and sustain a healthy relationship?
If I were doing a checklist, I would say, "NO."
My new favorite quote might help you in this case:
"Everyone must choose between the pain of discipline or the pain of regret."
If you discipline yourself NOW, recognize this for what it is and separate yourself from this situation, you may save yourself years of painful regret.
So what you are saying is, it's not about me it's about the fact he can attract someone almost half his age?
I'm sure it's about you and the connection he feels with you. That still doesn't make him available for anything other than a rebound relationship.
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