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1.5 years from first date to engagement and 2 years from first date to marriage. It's worked out great for us.
Any shorter is too short and any longer is a waste of time. If you don't know by 1.5 years if their the person you want to marry it's time to move on. You will know most definitely by then.
Every relationship is different, and there no guarantees, but I do agree. In general, I think 2-3 years would be my ideal range I think.
Many of the couples I know who finally married after dating exclusively for many years, did so because they felt it was "just the right thing to do" after a certain point. Maybe they grew tired of explaining their status to the parents and parents-in-unlaw.
I would not want to marry for those reasons myself. And I can't help but wonder if you wait until after the "honeymoon period" (let's say it lasts for 2 years) then does the motivation to marry someone die?
I don't know. Personally, I found it sweet to be on our honeymoon while we were still in the honeymoon stage! Though I do understand why many people feel it's best to wait it out. It's just seems less confident of the relationship, less ready to commit, and not as romantic, in my opinion. It's safer though, can't argue with that.
If your motivation to marry somebody dies once the relatively is no longer new, that's obviously a pretty good indication that you're about the infatuation, vs. the relationship in the first place.
Many of the couples I know who finally married after dating exclusively for many years, did so because they felt it was "just the right thing to do" after a certain point. Maybe they grew tired of explaining their status to the parents and parents-in-unlaw.
I would not want to marry for those reasons myself. And I can't help but wonder if you wait until after the "honeymoon period" (let's say it lasts for 2 years) then does the motivation to marry someone die?
I don't know. Personally, I found it sweet to be on our honeymoon while we were still in the honeymoon stage! Though I do understand why many people feel it's best to wait it out. It's just seems less confident of the relationship, less ready to commit, and not as romantic, in my opinion. It's safer though, can't argue with that.
Definitely more of conservative approach, I tend to be that way, overly cautious. The only thing I've ever done in my whole life that was a "leap of faith" was to quit my job without something lined up.
1.5 years from first date to engagement and 2 years from first date to marriage. It's worked out great for us.
Any shorter is too short and any longer is a waste of time. If you don't know by 1.5 years if their the person you want to marry it's time to move on. You will know most definitely by then.
Many of the couples I know who finally married after dating exclusively for many years, did so because they felt it was "just the right thing to do" after a certain point. Maybe they grew tired of explaining their status to the parents and parents-in-unlaw.
I would not want to marry for those reasons myself. And I can't help but wonder if you wait until after the "honeymoon period" (let's say it lasts for 2 years) then does the motivation to marry someone die?
I don't know. Personally, I found it sweet to be on our honeymoon while we were still in the honeymoon stage! Though I do understand why many people feel it's best to wait it out. It's just seems less confident of the relationship, less ready to commit, and not as romantic, in my opinion. It's safer though, can't argue with that.
To me, if the relationship dies after the "honeymoon period", then it was likely never meant to be anyways. A good indicator of a long lasting relationship is being together and loving each other for years, even while not being married (some couples are together, but aren't married and don't want to be).
I'm sure many couples did exactly what you're saying, only for their marriage to come crushing down and burning when they realize they were never really truly compatible in the first place. It's why marrying during the infatuation honeymoon period is a huge risk to take.
Of course, waiting out is no 100% guarantee either, but it's definitely better than rushing into a marriage.
Yes, I understand what you're saying and I agree. But there is also a part of me that believes commitment is a decision that is made, not an emotion that fades away after 2 years. So perhaps some of those couples that split up after the infatuation stage did so due to lack of commitment rather than any big insurmountable incompatibility.
If there is enough love and real commitment, it can overcome minor incompatibilities. If that makes sense.
And you don't need to date for years to spot the big things.
Cross-posted from another thread about this topic (with some modifications):
I can't speak for others, but I'm not going to marry someone if she and I haven't known each other for at least five years, with a large portion of that being a platonic friendship. Granted, I wouldn't marry someone I wasn't physically attracted to, but I think the two people involved in a relationship should know each other inside and out and be able to trust each other with anything, and at least wait for the initial "Oh, I'm so in love!" hormonal reaction to subside.
Last edited by Cheesehead92; 09-25-2016 at 05:19 AM..
Reason: reword
Cross-posted from another thread about this topic (with some modifications):
I can't speak for others, but I'm not going to marry someone if she and I haven't known each other for at least five years, with a large portion of that being a platonic friendship. Granted, I wouldn't marry someone I wasn't physically attracted to, but I think the two people involved in a relationship should know each other inside and out and be able to trust each other with anything, and at least wait for the initial "Oh, I'm so in love!" hormonal reaction to subside.
A 5 year courtship is a very long time for a woman to devote to an uncommitted relationship if she wants to start a family. It's a five year gamble that she can't really afford to take.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I'm not marrying anyone who I've dated for less than 5 years. I'm not having children and I'd not date anyone who wanted children and had a more restricted timeframe.
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