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He not only wants you to pay more because only your name is on lease and then brags about how much money he makes, he also physically abuses you.
How about since your name is on the lease, you kick him to the curb and see if he likes being homeless. This guy sounds like he's got quite a set.
What nerve.
Tell him to GTFO already.
Yes it's the abusive guy. I posted the thread link in my response but the threads have now been merged.
She will never get better with that guy in her life. He knows how to pull her low self-esteem strings and he is toxic to the core.
Because he's abusive I would call the police and have him removed. She might even have to move herself because he sounds like a controlling mentally and physically abusive guy who knows where she lives.
Guys like him prey upon women who easily fall for their abusive controlling antics. He knows how easy it is to pull her low self esteem strings so that he can take advantage of her. He will do what he can to try an maintain control of his current lifestyle.
I don't think she is aware of the type of guy she's with or how he will ruin or waste a large part of her life if she continues seeing him.
Me and my boyfriend live together... He great around the house. What bothers me is if I don't ask him for any help with the bills he doesn't say anything. He says he shouldn't help pay 1/2 the rent because his name isn't on the lease. I feel like we have been together long enough to know when bills are due and if you really wanted to help you would ask. He always brings up the fact that I make more than him. He says I'm money hungry but all I'm asking for him to go 1/2. I don't understand how I'm a gold digger bc i ask him to help with bills. Then when he get mad he yells about how he has soooo much money... I understand I make more but does that mean i have to pay more. Nobody can live for free. Please tell me if I'm wrong??? He acts like I'm a money hungry girl and try to make me feel bad about it.
Okay... so he doesn't want to split stuff down the middle, but he should at least want to pay his share.
So, if you make 60k and he makes 40k, you two split stuff 60/40.
It's not rocket science.
If he cannot do that, at minimum, then he needs to pack his crap and leave.
No yelling at you in a house that he's already stated is really your place and he's not even on the lease.
Oh. Hell. No.
And, my advice would be the same regardless of the genders of the members of the couple.
Unless a couple has an agreement that one person will pay all the bills while the other person compensates for this kindness by, say, doing all the household chores, all the grocery shopping, some such thing?
That person who doesn't want to carry their weight is A MOOCHER.
Period.
I cannot believe you are even questioning this. Were you abused as a kid or something?
Get some self respect. He's using you.
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If you're a regular poster here who is a woman and has common sense, riddle me this: Why do some women not just stay with a-holes like the OP describes, but defend them?
If you're a regular poster here who is a woman and has common sense, riddle me this: Why do some women not just stay with a-holes like the OP describes, but defend them?
I cannot say why all of them do it, but most of them are afraid and/or in need of therapy because they have low self esteem.
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When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
OP, you said you want to leave him but you're scared. You should be afraid of NOT leaving him.
There is not a thing he can do to excuse the behavior, and I think you know that or you wouldn't be here asking strangers for advice.
Yes, you have self esteem issues, but that is not your problem. Your boyfriend is your problem. Ditch THAT problem, and then focus on the why of you instead of the why of him, because the why of him = he's an ass. He's got your number, and he's using it.
Stop thinking about equitable division of labor and resources going forward as if this were a viable relationship. It's not, and it's dangerous for you to continue to live with this man who hits you. Use the energy you've been investing in trying to salvage this relationship to figure out how to get out of this situation safely. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline - 1-800-799-7233.
The thread title is an oxymoron. OP, the sooner you get away from your BF (who is using you as others mentioned) the better.
Good guys are not verbally abusive to ANYONE...their significant others, their friends, their parents, their colleagues, strangers, etc. Some good guys might playfully poke a little fun at their buddies when hanging out with them (especially if everyone involved has thick skin and doesn't take things too seriously), but they do so in a way that isn't hurtful.
Good, mature guys do not get angry very often. If they find themselves growing very annoyed and/or frustrated at something or someone...they find a way to ease and dissipate that feeling before it comes to a boil. Even in the rare case where they do get angry, they still have enough emotional self-control to not lash out at others with damaging words. While there are legitimate things in life to get pissed off about...good well-adjusted people understand that in many cases, anger is unnecessary, an overreaction, and is just an emotional byproduct of misunderstanding or refusing to listen to the other person or perspective.
I cannot say why all of them do it, but most of them are afraid and/or in need of therapy because they have low self esteem.
This. But goes for men too. It's not gender specific. Some people in general have this issue.
1. Some don't think they will ever get better.
2. Some feel they should be happy someone they are attracted to wants them.
3. Some can't be happy be themselves, and easily get lonely w/o partners.
4. Some stick around for the simple reason of fantastic sex. I think an older female poster here mentioned if someone has never stayed in a relationship, even a not-so-good one just for sex, then they never had really great sex w/ a person. lol Because if it's great enough, it'll make you second-guess leaving.
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