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My boyfriend of almost 9 months has asked me to marry him. It's going to be a long engagement, but I agreed.
(snip)
I guess I am also shocked he never told me even after I have told him all of my past, invited him into my home and to be a father figure to my 6 year old.
Any advice or feedback?
I have known many divorced or widowed women who did not/do not even introduce their child or children to a new boyfriend until they have been dating a man for six months or more. So I am sort of surprised that at less than 9 months not only have you "invited him into your home (I suspect that is code for live together) and to be a father figure" to your son.
IMHO, too fast and too soon to be engaged. You do not know him as well as you thought that you knew him, that is why you are so shocked.
Last edited by germaine2626; 10-23-2016 at 09:37 PM..
Why'd you invite a dude into your home to be a father figure to your kid if you didn't know why he was estranged from his brother and you seem not to have met his family?
I mean, my husband and I dated for a longer time than usual, but I surely had met his folks before we got engaged or before he moved in (we only lived together for just over a year before the wedding).
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Let's see...my sister tried to burn my mom's house down one time...but she's developmentally disabled. Do I have to tell all my suitors about that? Does it make a difference that she's adopted so at least there's no genetics involved? Or that I don't want kids anyway?
What is your real concern here?
OP is attracted to the bad boys so she is afraid that her ovaries might explode when she is near the killer brother..
My boyfriend of almost 9 months has asked me to marry him. It's going to be a long engagement, but I agreed. Last time I was online killing time before he had to leave for his job & I started googling him & his family, etc. Nothing weird until I googled his brother..
His brother was involved in a homicide 10+ years prior to now. His brother was at a store when he witnessed someone stealing some adult beverages, He chased the guy, got him into a head lock and the man died as a result. It was ruled a justifiable homicide.. but I can not CAN NOT get it out of my head. I don't understand why he didn't tell me! So I brought it up with him when he was getting ready for work and his answers completely shocked me. Him and His brother do not speak, I have never met the man but their relationship has ended. My boyfriend has said nothing but negative things about his brother up to this point. I stated wow, that's so crazy. And my boyfriend proceeded to tell me that it was one of his fondest memories of his brother, because his brother did the right thing. His brother helped stop a scumbag. I just guess I don't agree. I thought it was more sad someone lost their life over a beer...
I guess I am also shocked he never told me even after I have told him all of my past, invited him into my home and to be a father figure to my 6 year old.
Any advice or feedback?
If it was justifiable, it was justifiable. If you don't know the details, you don't know jack. I'll clue you in, if it was a justifiable death then it was NOT homicide, it was self defense. Your BF's brother was probably put in a life of death situation and your lack of sympathy is kind of sad considering he is willing to be the father of your child. IMO this incident does not concern him and he has no obligaton to disclose his entire family's history to you.
My boyfriend of almost 9 months has asked me to marry him. It's going to be a long engagement, but I agreed. Last time I was online killing time before he had to leave for his job & I started googling him & his family, etc. Nothing weird until I googled his brother..
His brother was involved in a homicide 10+ years prior to now. His brother was at a store when he witnessed someone stealing some adult beverages, He chased the guy, got him into a head lock and the man died as a result. It was ruled a justifiable homicide.. but I can not CAN NOT get it out of my head. I don't understand why he didn't tell me! So I brought it up with him when he was getting ready for work and his answers completely shocked me. Him and His brother do not speak, I have never met the man but their relationship has ended. My boyfriend has said nothing but negative things about his brother up to this point. I stated wow, that's so crazy. And my boyfriend proceeded to tell me that it was one of his fondest memories of his brother, because his brother did the right thing. His brother helped stop a scumbag. I just guess I don't agree. I thought it was more sad someone lost their life over a beer...
I guess I am also shocked he never told me even after I have told him all of my past, invited him into my home and to be a father figure to my 6 year old.
Any advice or feedback?
Sounds like you don't know this guy after all.
Maybe you should re-think this whole marriage thing.
If you've changed your mind and don't want to marry the guy after all then at least just be honest with yourself (and him) about the reason why. Don't go searching for reasons to break up with him if you've already made up your mind.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Doesn't pass the smell test at all. The story doesn't add up. Private citizen chasing someone for a shoplifting a drink? And physically attacking them over some minor shoplifting? Then the courts saying, yes private citizen, you were justified in killing someone over shoplifting at a store you just happened to be at?
Yeah, I dunno.
Anyway, its not your business anyway. If this is real, you're looking for an excuse to bail.
So he thinks his brother is a scumbag, yet takes pride in him killing someone over a beer.. ? Uh, yeah that would concern me too.. If murder is his only redeeming quality, then good lord.....
Shoplifting is a misdemeanor. The man's brother is no "hero".
Long engagements are great for finding out all kinds of things in case you wanna change your mind later! Lol.
Agreed. The guy witnessed a theft, chased the thief down, and killed him. "Justifiable" homicide is self-defense. Vigilante homicide over theft is not justifiable.
This wouldn't happen to have occurred in Florida, would it?
Doesn't pass the smell test at all. The story doesn't add up. Private citizen chasing someone for a shoplifting a drink? And physically attacking them over some minor shoplifting? Then the courts saying, yes private citizen, you were justified in killing someone over shoplifting at a store you just happened to be at?
Yeah, I dunno.
Anyway, its not your business anyway. If this is real, you're looking for an excuse to bail.
Agree!
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