Is someone being "out of your league" a real thing? (date, how to)
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,790,954 times
Reputation: 41387
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Real to those who use that superficial crap for relationships. Funny thing is THEY are the ones with the most difficulties in dating.
You ever read here: "Things are going great! I found myself an 8 who thought she was only a six, I am a domineering 5 and we really CLICK!!"
No, you don't read that. Those types have a hard time figuring out what's important.
Anyone who doesn't think leagues are real should ask themselves if they could ever TRUTHFULLY visiualize Jennifer Lawrence dating and sexing up a 300lb neckbearded guy with a beer gut. That will give you your answer.
Focus on being an honest, caring person and look for a woman who shares those traits. Believe it or not, many women will care that you are at least moderately successful and will overlook physical appearances if they feel you will be an equal partner. Women earn money these days, too.
To protect yourself, focus on inner as well as outer beauty and stick to that league.
physical attractiveness only opens the door. Once you get inside, everything else becomes just as important. In my case, it is an age thing. I am 60. So that means that i need to not even bother outside my age range. I see it at the gym a lot. Older men trying to chat up young girls. Its just rude and creepy. You would not like it if mildred in the rest home rammed her walker into you and asked you for a date.
we all need to be honest with ourselves about exactly what league we are in.
Let me tell you a story. LONG LONG LONG AGO i had this buddy.. good guy and a great friend. He was an dorky tall guy.. a below average looking guy.. he more than made up for it with personality.... he was married to this beautiful blonde.. not just beautiful on the outside but the inside as well. Needless to say, i was impressed, here was the less than average joe married to this way above average gal.. they did NOT look liked they belonged together but they obviously did.
We hung out a lot.. and one day he introduces me to one of his friends from work (very hot blonde) she was nice and we hung out a lot as a group. I remember having a conversation with my buddy and him asking me about this girl. whether i liked her or not.. I said "YES, but she is WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE." He just looked at me kind of perplexed and said "LISTEN, NOBODY IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE" Don't think that way.. your a good guy, a smart guy, a successful guy.. you can have ANY GIRL you want.. You just have to believe that. Now if he didn't have this beautiful wife him self, proving his theory, i would have been skeptical but because he did.. i thought he might be on to something.
Sure enough, i made a small move, if you will, the next time we were together as a group. I just reached around her, pulled her close and she didn't fLINCH.. That was that, she did LIKE ME! WOW.. now nearly 20 years later, folks look at me and say, "THAT's YOUR WIFE?!" yep.. i married WAY up (OUT OF MY LEAGUE) but only because a good friend told me and showed me that NO ONE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!
That being said, i think its important to look beyond the physical characteristics of someone. I mean that's what you are asking THEM to do with you so you should at least offer up the same courtesy. Don't discount someone because you think, they are not as 'HOT' as you would prefer.. my mom always said, 'beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone!'
Physical attractiveness only opens the door. Once you get inside, everything else becomes just as important. In my case, it is an age thing. I am 60. So that means that I need to not even bother outside my age range. I see it at the gym a lot. Older men trying to chat up young girls. Its just rude and creepy. You would not like it if Mildred in the rest home rammed her walker into you and asked you for a date.
We all need to be honest with ourselves about exactly what league we are in.
Age (league) is a whole nuther story.. i agree though.. i see gals in their 20s and think, they didn't make 'em like that when i was 20.. i don't even blink.. not in my AGE league.. if you will.. once you a daughter in her 20s, you don't look at other girls in their 20s the same way!!!
That being said, i think its important to look beyond the physical characteristics of someone. I mean that's what you are asking THEM to do with you so you should at least offer up the same courtesy. Don't discount someone because you think, they are not as 'HOT' as you would prefer.. my mom always said, 'beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone!'
Mom's right!
I also get annoyed by all the talk about leagues, and I think mco65 nailed why here ^^^.
It's important to be realistic about your appearance, because we all are only human, but you don't have to be LIMITED by your appearance, and you can't limit others that way, either.
I'm not the greatest looking guy (I have a thread about my physical flaw) but I'm also interested in dating women. I speak with my female cousins, and they told me that it's because I'm "way outta my league". I shouldn't be getting at 10s when I myself am a 3. I wanted to know, do you guys feel the same way? I mean, I'm already a business owner and building wealth at age 18 and when I do become successful (bringing positive energy to myself lol) I'll have my pick of the litter when it comes to women, but at the same time do I want a woman that doesn't love me for me? How do you guys feel about it?
I, myself, am also a 3 (perhaps a 2.5). I am also a business owner (electrical contractor), and have been building wealth all my adult life. And I have never been in a serious relationship. So I hate to burst your bubble, but I wouldn't count on having the pick of any litter when you get older. I'm 44 now, and I can't get any woman at all. It looks like I am doomed to be single forever.
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