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You're so right... He does believe he can do what he wants to me and I'll never leave because he has outright said it... I told him if I had ever found out he cheated if be out and he said with a chuckle no you won't you're never going anywhere... Huh wow hearing myself say that as I type this I'm realizing how pathetic I am... I mostly stay because my girls love him a he's the only father they know... I grew up most of my life without mine and he was extremely abusive to me as my mother and my other siblings up until he left and never came back... I guess honestly all I've ever known is abuse... Wow I'm realizing how dysfunctional I am... I think it's about time I reevaluate my life as the people I'm going to have in it
Also bear in mind that you work in HIS store, and he doesn't even pay you. He thinks he controls you completely and that you'll never leave, so you have to sit and take his abuse, because you don't have any way of moving out and earning your own rent money.
That is what abusers do: they try to maneuver their partner into a corner, isolating them, making them quit their job and abandon their friends (in your case: controlling your job & not paying you), so that they can have total control.
Where are your parents? Do you have ANY family members you can seek refuge with? Think this through very carefully.
You are exposing your kids to an abuser, making them think it's okay to stay in a relationship like this. Stop this cycle of hell and kick this man to the curb asap. You need to protect your children from this disgusting pig.
To be blunt, your fiance is abusive. This may be hard to accept, but it's the truth.
You have to think about why you feel the need to stay in an abusive relationship where your SO puts hands on you, then callously tells you about boinking and impregnating other women, especially when it's relatives.
Now, this is NOT easy, but you really do need to leave your fiance.
But overall, he has no respect for you. And it's probably lowered because you stayed after things got physical. So he just expects you to put up with all of his crap, because he figures you're not going anywhere, or planning to do anything. So that's his cue to keep doing what he's doing. And it will only get even worse. You see that with his comments becoming even more tasteless than before.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen963
The part in bold is extremely concerning, because he's already making crude cracks about your sister and mom...what are you going to do when your girls grow up and he starts eyeing them as well?
Frankly, I would not be surprised if he is not already "eyeing" your daughters or much, much worse already.
A distinct possibility ... there are times when, after reading something, you pause and wonder if this one is truly over the top. I know we live in a Jerry Springer dysfunctional universe, but more posts seem unreal. If there is legitimacy to this one, the OP needs to make a clean break immediately and never look back.
I may be ****ty at standing up for myself and I take a lot of **** and abuse towards me but you are so wron when you say I wouldn't protect my kids... That is the one thing I have as always will do... But in a way I do understand why you say this because if I'm going to allow this to happen to me why wouldn't I allow it to happen to them... I'm taking in everything everyone here is saying... And you're all right I need to start figuring **** out so I can make sure me and my babies are ok
I think you wear it as a badge of HONOR that you DO stay and take it...like you're doing both your kids and his a favor. That is wrong thinking - you are hurting your daughters and only further lowering your own self-esteem.
BTW, is he REALLY your fiance? Do you have a ring and a FIRM date? Or is this another way to delude yourself that he's a good guy and that the relationship is "legitimate"?
Find any job you can immediately and get rid of this disgusting guy. He'll find another chick to help raise his daughter, don't you worry.
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