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OP, were I dating a woman who acted like you have been, I'd be thinking it was time to make her an ex. You need to apologize and get your head straight. Your attitude was/is all wrong, and I'd sincerely recommend talking to a counselor -- for your own benefit. If you don't change your thinking, I'm afraid you're never going to have a successful romantic relationship with anyone.
she aint your wife, you guys are dating, you accept that she travels to work , but need to be on top of her where abouts after hours. It is ok to be concerned, it is ok to be insecure about it, she will probably do the same if the shoe were in the other foot?
If you guys dont live together, are not engaged, you need to let it go and have some trust. you cant put a gps on her, and she could be sitting in another mans lap while she is speaking to you, even during daylight hours.
I would have liked her to tell me, that's all. I didn't say don't go, but if it was me and someone invites me to a party at 12am after I've said goodnight to my gf, I'm not gonna go.
So you expect her to ask your permission to go somewhere even though she is in her 30's and single?
You also have no idea if you would go to an impromptu party invitation or not. You can say that you wouldn't however, until you are in the moment and the situation is presented you have no idea what you will do.
It appears you are looking for something to be upset about and you found it now you are behaving like a child instead of a mature adult.
The issues as far as I can see is you are worried about how personally involved she has become with other males who work closely with her. This accompanied with the way she would never have mentioned or broached the topic of her socializing on her own with you unless provoked in to doing so is painting a picture of a person you should be wary of placing full trust in.
If I had to spitball and boil it down to basics and guess why this is a much larger issue for you. I would say you feel like she isn't as guarded as she should be towards other males and "work" is complicating things because it offers up a steady flow of new and fimilar people for potential bonds to form with.
You need to nail down EXACTLY why this is an issue for you instead of boiling it down to "I feel you should tell me" things. You need to give her the information needed to understand why this creates a negative or worrisome doubts in your mind.
Until she has the information needed to understand why such a boundary should exist, she is not likely to even question her own behavior or care to.
You're worried about cause and effect, she is only interested in following her interests...you have to make those two perspectives mirror each other FOR each other.
This is not going to happen through accusations and heated arguments
This boils down to a respect issue that is rooted in expectations.
Last edited by rego00123; 03-01-2017 at 11:49 PM..
So much hate for the OP. The girl is not "single", there is some respect needed in a relationship. Letting a partner know you are going out partying is the least she could do. Sounds like she's hinding something.
So much hate for the OP. The girl is not "single", there is some respect needed in a relationship. Letting a partner know you are going out partying is the least she could do. Sounds like she's hinding something.
Where was she hiding it? OP said he was going to bed. She was then invited to a party. Should she have phoned, and potentially woken him up, to ask for his permission to attend? When OP texted her again, she told him where she was heading. So secretive!!!! Not.
So much hate for the OP. The girl is not "single", there is some respect needed in a relationship. Letting a partner know you are going out partying is the least she could do. Sounds like she's hinding something.
Ummm, does she know that this is what the OP requires in a relationship. Unless she knows that's his expectation & she agrees to let him know her whereabouts at all times, she is not being disrespectful.
I'm married & my DH & I respect each other tremendously, but we don't have any rules that require either of us to let the other know our whereabouts at all times, even if it is out partying. My DH would be annoyed that I woke him up to tell him. Respect in a relationship is about what the people in the relationship agree it is. In this case, it sounds like OP didn't clue his partner in, as to what his expectations are. So she could tell him to go jump in a lake. Or acquiesce, if she doesn't mind controlling, insecure men.
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