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Jealous/possessive. Super possessive of my time. Hated me spending time with friends. Hated me talking to anyone who might "like" me.
She had friends, but then talked crap about them to me and constantly explained to me how lucky they were to be friends with her. She never had friends long.
She always was trying to be the center of attention sexually. With everyone.
If you were better at something than she was, she would belittle that skill.
She hated her own family except her mom.
She was super negative all the time.
I'm pretty sure she was falsifying some of her research data to get published.
Super control freak.
I'm kind of wondering if this is an age and culture problem.
What I know:
The OP is early 40's.
Both the OP and his GF are immigrants.
The OP has never disclosed more other than that his father had no exposure to racial/cultural diversity.
What I don't know:
How old is the GF?
Where were the OP and the GF born?
It probably doesn't matter but where does the OP live now?
I'm thinking there is some kind of cultural conflict here. The sisters think the GF isn't good enough for their brother. The GF picks up on this and is fighting back in a way that creates all this drama.
We are both from the same country in Europe. I'm 42 and she is 37. We live in Midwest. We share the same culture, which is a thing we have in common. Maybe what you say is true, but I rarely pickup these subtle issues that aren't addressed head on. Nothing seems to happen in front of me, because Id respond without hesitation. Its always a he said, she said situation and it drives me crazy - not wanting to get involved. However, not getting involved is no longer an option due to the recent fight. Its kind of getting out of hand
Thanks for your take, maybe things aren't quite that bad. Pretty sure at my age I'm as mature as I'm going to be
I was going off of what you say. Things are that bad.
Your mother shouldn't keep having to deal with this crap from your girlfriend. Meddling in whatever gossip your sister is into doesn't make it ok for her to start gossip herself using your sis as a springboard.
I've not encountered these petty women you speak of. My greatest concern is you enjoy this stuff. Nothing else makes sense to me
Either way, good luck to you. I hope it works out for the best.
I was going off of what you say. Things are that bad.
Your mother shouldn't keep having to deal with this crap from your girlfriend. Meddling in whatever gossip your sister is into doesn't make it ok for her to start gossip herself using your sis as a springboard.
I've not encountered these petty women you speak of. My greatest concern is you enjoy this stuff. Nothing else makes sense to me
Either way, good luck to you. I hope it works out for the best.
I certainly don't enjoy the drama, are you crazy? I absolutely despise it. Thanks for your feedback though.
We are both from the same country in Europe. I'm 42 and she is 37. We live in Midwest. We share the same culture, which is a thing we have in common. Maybe what you say is true, but I rarely pickup these subtle issues that aren't addressed head on. Nothing seems to happen in front of me, because Id respond without hesitation. Its always a he said, she said situation and it drives me crazy - not wanting to get involved. However, not getting involved is no longer an option due to the recent fight. Its kind of getting out of hand
I can relate to being drawn to someone who shares your cultural background, OP. It can be a very magnetic kind of thing. But ultimately, after that initial fits-like-a-glove sense of discovery segues into a deeper familiarity with the person and their underlying character, you have to reevaluate whether it's a good fit or not, by broader criteria. There may be surprises, like what you're experiencing, that would indicate that the person's fundamental character wouldn't be a good match, and isn't conducive to a stable and happy LTR.
You aren't her parent. It's not your job to raise her and turn her into a functioning human being.
If she wants to be in a real adult relationship, then it's up to her to learn how to do that. You are not doing her any favors by dragging her along because you "don't want to hurt her."
She's already hurt you AND your family, so she's not even doing you the same courtesy.
Honestly, I would take the boat trip without her so you can see for once what a peaceful outing looks like.
Yeah, I get that. But you know how it is, when you care about someone and love someone, you want them to be healthy and happy. So if there is a way I can fill a void for her, Id go out of my way to do so, if that makes sense
Yeah, I get that. But you know how it is, when you care about someone and love someone, you want them to be healthy and happy. So if there is a way I can fill a void for her, Id go out of my way to do so, if that makes sense
Some people will sabotage an SO's efforts to help them out, though, due to flaws in their character that are wired into them. This may well be where you're at with her right now.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-16-2017 at 01:55 PM..
Yeah, I get that. But you know how it is, when you care about someone and love someone, you want them to be healthy and happy. So if there is a way I can fill a void for her, Id go out of my way to do so, if that makes sense
It makes sense, but it's not healthy.
Her upbringing may explain why she always feels the need to create chaos ... because it's what she's used to.
So if things are too calm and stable for her, she makes drama so she feels "at home."
It's not good, you know. You can't fix it, and your role is not "to fill a void." That's not love.
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