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It is slim for most of us. I listen to relationship podcasts and read a lot of psychology books. The thing that's changed a lot from the male perspective (as it relates to online dating specifically, which has ruined us) is this feeling women have of an abundance of available "bigger better deals" as it relates to men. Hence they have a list of 53 "must haves", rather than 5 must haves and many "nice to haves". I've been through this exercise myself, and I know what my must haves are. Its not a huge list. Although I'd love to find a woman who can have kids, at my age I'm throwing in the towel. I may be open to adoption. I've just had to accept it. Aside from that, I just want someone I'm attracted to who values health and fitness and personal growth. Obviously, I want someone with some intelligence, and nurturing, loyal, and who will also challenge me. That's really the extent of it though. Not easy to find.
But women say the same thing about men on OLD. Not only that, they say OLD is full of players (including the for-fee sites), who use OLD to collect as many notches on their belt as possible, scrolling through the catalog at their fingertips. As soon as they achieve a sexual relationship with a woman, they dump her and move on to the next one. "The guys are like kids in a candy store", I keep hearing.
I don't know why men would think that OLD is a one-way street that favors women. Women don't feel that way at all; to the contrary.
But women say the same thing about men on OLD. Not only that, they say OLD is full of players (including the for-fee sites), who use OLD to collect as many notches on their belt as possible, scrolling through the catalog at their fingertips. As soon as they achieve a sexual relationship with a woman, they dump her and move on to the next one. "The guys are like kids in a candy store", I keep hearing.
I don't know why men would think that OLD is a one-way street that favors women. Women don't feel that way at all; to the contrary.
Well, I'm not like the men you describe and I'm speaking from my perspective, although I do hear men complain about it a lot. I also talk to women who get hundreds of emails vs my 4-5 emails from fake profiles or Phillipine scammers. Just sayin.
I just want find a woman who appreciates a man who takes care of himself, is career oriented, and most importantly is focused on personal growth. I actually do things to make myself a better man, not for a woman, but for myself. I take workshops on vulnerability (Brent Brown) and openness, read books on these subjects, challenge myself. I face my fears and push myself to get through them. I want someone who appreciates those things and loves that about me.
I just want find a woman who appreciates a man who takes care of himself, is career oriented, and most importantly is focused on personal growth. I actually do things to make myself a better man, not for a woman, but for myself. I take workshops on vulnerability (Brent Brown) and openness, read books on these subjects, challenge myself. I face my fears and push myself to get through them. I want someone who appreciates those things and loves that about me.
Hope you don't rent..you know the new checklist item is the man must own, not rent right?
It's tough out there bro. Go younger my man, go younger.
Well, I'm not like the men you describe and I'm speaking from my perspective, although I do hear men complain about it a lot. I also talk to women who get hundreds of emails vs my 4-5 emails from fake profiles or Phillipine scammers. Just sayin.
I know you're not like that, Atlguy. But it sounds like too many men are. These women you talk to, who get hundreds of emails, have they specified the nature of those emails? Many of then, I'm sure, are scammers and bots. Many others are probably one-word messages ("S'up?") Some may be obscene pix. That's the nature of OLD.
Remember our own NorthwestGirl? She was on OLD for YEARS before she finally got a "real" message. For years, all she got was bots and scammers. How discouraging do you think that was? I guess you would know. Both genders struggle, Atlguy. There's no free ride for anyone. Even the beautiful women, who you'd think would have it easy, only get approached by arrogant jerks, while the shy, humble guys that are their type are too shy to approach.
Hope you don't rent..you know the new checklist item is the man must own, not rent right?
It's tough out there bro. Go younger my man, go younger.
If renting held me back, I'd be the first to admit it. The way around that is to just say I'm waiting until I get married to buy. I mean, thats the reality for me. Of course, thats only a part of it. The bigger reason I rent is because I'm stuck in a city I don't like. If I was back in Atlanta, I would buy for sure. But the only reason to stay in this city long term is if I get married to a woman who doesn't want to leave.
Go younger. Thats funny. I do go younger. 35-40ish is sort of what I tend to date. The ones here are just flakes.
I said mens market value drops too unless he is loaded. Mikala you yourself admitted you've only dated/married men that make a lot of money.
I said "higher paid range", which is what I was also. I turned down guys that made more because of other factors, money is not the be all and end all, it cannot make up for other negative traits.
If women and men's market value all drops..... then it is a wash, and you are right back to where you started.
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Renting never held me back. I just bought awhile ago, it certainly isn't a help, especially having less time and money to go out.
You nailed it here. I spend more time at home, because I enjoy the peace in my home compared to my apartment. In my apartment I had neighbors walking in and out and I had to hear them through the thin walls and floors. That style of living became old. Once I bought my own house, even though it's nothing special, I feel more at peace and relaxed than I have in years. What also comes with homeownership is responsibilities of the lawn and any upkeep inside.
Our lives change and evolve. Going out is still fun here and there, but I do prefer my time at home or someone else's home over going out.
Hope you don't rent..you know the new checklist item is the man must own, not rent right?
It's tough out there bro. Go younger my man, go younger.
People are so mobile these days, that it's not realistic to expect someone to own, unless they have roots in the area. Atlguy is hoping to get back to Atlanta. It's unrealistic to expect people who are moving around to build a career, say, to buy, until they find their optimum situation.
But the own-not-rent checklist item is not new. Been around for a long time.
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But it sounds like too many men are. These women you talk to, who get hundreds of emails, have they specified the nature of those emails? Many of then, I'm sure, are scammers and bots. Many others are probably one-word messages ("S'up?") Some may be obscene pix. That's the nature of OLD. 
Both genders struggle, Atlguy. There's no free ride for anyone. Even the beautiful women, who you'd think would have it easy, only get approached by arrogant jerks, while the shy, humble guys that are their type are too shy to approach.
