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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,982,736 times
Reputation: 50665
I think you're fabulous, coldcaller. There are people in their older life who realize there was one person - maybe a distant relative, maybe a teacher, etc., who saved them.
You are likely saving this young man. Don't diminish that.
Is there some reason you aren't married to a woman you've been dating 9 years?
you cant pander to her. be too much of a yes man and it is likely that you are really just like the idea of you being this awesome person (thats how it'll look). Its good for you and HER that if shes wrong you tell her, you dont back down, but you dont stop at telling her, you then shut up and find your role in the solution and do it. Women know when they are wrong and alot of times being told 'its ok' is going to communicate a weakness which will chip at her respect of you. and rightly so. you do no good by not calling wrong -wrong, and meaning it.
we have discussed it before, marriage is on hold until I make enough to support us both to a certain level
Well, I would say that plus the emotional support you've been providing is why you're feeling the pressure that brought you here.
Yes, there are a lot of expectations on you. It's not necessary for you to support her (and her brother, presumably). It's not necessary for you to wait to get married until you're earning that much. She can work also and contribute.
After 9 years, you two should have this figured out. I'm not enough of a psychologist to analyze why you're voluntarily staying in this role that is very unhealthy for you.
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