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My wife & I are in our early 50's. The longer we're married, the more she wants to snuggle. Not that I'm opposed to it, per se, but every night without exception it's a minimum of 30 minutes before falling asleep, usually a time or two during the night and, with no exception, at least 15 minutes before I get up at 5am. If snuggle time is ever missed or shorted, LOOK OUT.
It seems to me that's a lot of snuggling. I'm not trying to be funny, but isn't this just a bit excessive?
My wife & I are in our early 50's. The longer we're married, the more she wants to snuggle. Not that I'm opposed to it, per se, but every night without exception it's a minimum of 30 minutes before falling asleep, usually a time or two during the night and, with no exception, at least 15 minutes before I get up at 5am. If snuggle time is ever missed or shorted, LOOK OUT.
It seems to me that's a lot of snuggling. I'm not trying to be funny, but isn't this just a bit excessive?
maybe a lot for you, but not for her....I'd try talking to her about it....see what she says.....?
Snuggling is good....and may lead to other things?
Man I love snuggling. I find it very relaxing. The smell of her hair...the warmth of her skin...thats it...I'm going back to Sweden the end of this month. Now where is my travel agents number...
Snuggling is a wonderful way of showing affection for your partner. As was mentioned it can also lead to other things. Being in a relationship is about meeting the other person's needs as well as your own, so if this makes the other person happy and feel connected to their partner, its not a bad thing, nor too much in my opinion. I'd be more concerned with someone that was distant and didn't want to feel me close than someone that still wanted to snuggle up with me, despite how many years we have been together. It truly is a good sign. Relish it and give your partner what they need.
Snuggling is a wonderful way of showing affection for your partner. As was mentioned it can also lead to other things. Being in a relationship is about meeting the other person's needs as well as your own, so if this makes the other person happy and feel connected to their partner, its not a bad thing, nor too much in my opinion. I'd be more concerned with someone that was distant and didn't want to feel me close than someone that still wanted to snuggle up with me, despite how many years we have been together. It truly is a good sign. Relish it and give your partner what they need.
no it is not excessive
i have heard it said, and as much as I hate to generalize and stereotype, i find it can be VERY TRUE, that for a lot of women snuggling is as important to them in a relationship, as sex is to men. Many women find the snuggling more satisfying and fulfilling than the sex act.
From a woman's point of view, it is deeply comforting, reassuring, nurturing, and satisfying to be able to snuggle. In my marriage the "during the night snuggling" didn't even have to be both people awake, i just would sort of mold myself around my partner's body and it was wonderful.
Your comfort level is important too though. If you find it physically distressing, or it interferes with your sleep or whatever, then see if you can talk and work out between you something that addresses both your needs and comfort levels. It may be that the "going to sleep" snuggle is the one she can't do without, or the "waking up 15 minutes before" she starts her day is most essential.
What a great post and great question. When I describe it to my men friends like "it's like sex for you" they often go "OOOOOOOOH I get it."
Blazer, as you report that the frequency and duration of the snuggling has increased over time, have you considered that she may be using the snuggling to compensate for some other area she feels a loss of attention in?
Look at your everyday interactions and see if there are other times and ways that you can show your appreciation of her and your love for her. As you ramp up these spontaneous displays of affection in other areas that are perhaps less demanding on you than "scheduled snuggling" perhaps her need for such will also diminish to a point where it meshes better with your comfort levels.
As to what is excessive......nothing until it gets on someone's nerves. If it starts to interfere with your sleep or you start suffering nerve pain from the loss of blood flow in your arm...then work on a compromise, otherwise Enjoy the snuggling!
Like most women, I love snuggling, but 30 mintues, every night and then again in the middle of the night and then again in the morning - is a bit much to me (way too much). I cuddle up next to my husband for maybe 5 - 10 minutes at the most and then roll over and go to sleep. I can't sleep in cuddle mode. I want to sleep, not lay there with my arm in the funky position i have to put it in in order to make the snuggle position fit well.
Through the night we'll roll over once in a while and cuddle each other for a few and in the morning maybe, but it's not a daily requirement.
And after sex, I'm exhausted, I want to go right to sleep, not cuddle.
My wife and I snuggle a bit before bed every night but I usually get kicked off because my body gets too hot for her. I guess I have some weird excessive heat issue when I'm covered up.
But anyway....do you get to hold her boob while you snuggle? If not then it's not as rewarding of a snuggle.
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perhaps her need for such will also diminish to a point where it meshes better with your comfort levels.
