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I have romantic feelings for one of my best friends. We have been friends for the last five years, and looking back I think I have always had a crush on him. I was attracted to him by his smile and neat, stylish dress. As we became good friends, I also became attracted to his ambition and drive for his career goals. To me he would be an ideal partner.
Two years ago, I was the first person he ever came out to. We are both gay men. I have always been open about my sexual orientation with him and the others in our friend group from the very beginning, but he never told anyone before he told me. I kept his secret for the past two years as he gradually told all the others.
When he came out, a rush of feelings came with his announcement. Although I thought little of having a crush on him before he came out, when he did came out I realized that I have a chance with him. I kept any romantic or sexual feelings towards him to myself because he was just becoming comfortable with his sexuality and was not ready to pursue anything romantic or sexual with anyone yet. Two weeks later, I moved overseas and he also moved away to attend a university hundreds of miles away. During that time, he began dating and becoming sexually active with other men as he became more comfortable with himself.
The last few times I've seen him I've wanted to tell him how I feel about him, but I couldn't because I don't want to make our friendship awkward. I confided in one of my other best friends about my feelings for him (she's a mutual friend of ours). She told me that even before he came out, she thought he and I would make a good couple.
When he came to visit me overseas, I wanted to tell him and even thought about pursuing him sexually, but I didn't. Since we've both moved back home, we've seen each other a few times and we've been alone in his car at some point most of those times. I've wanted to tell him but the power of my thoughts of "what if he doesn't take this well" overpowers my desire to tell him how I feel about him. I also don't want us to be a situation of "of course the two gay guys in our group became a couple." Talking to him about what he wants and likes in a guy, we both have very similar desires.
What should I do? I want to tell him but I don't want things to be awkward later if he rejects me.
I'm starting to wonder how much life is wasted worrying about what other people think and fearing someone might not want the same thing you do (i.e. rejection).
What is the big deal about being the 2 gay guys in the group that got together?
Will the world stop revolving if you ask this guy if he would like to see about taking your relationship beyond the platonic and he says, no, Id like to remain just friends?
I agree. Go for it. I speak from experience, knowing how he feels now is better than later on thinking "what if?".
I found out recently a friend from high school had a crush on me years ago, for quite some time. I admit, I found her attractive too but nothing ever happened between us. Once she finally told me, I asked why she never told me. She too, was afraid of rejection. For a while I was thinking "What if?" but obviously that ship has long sailed.
I have romantic feelings for one of my best friends. We have been friends for the last five years, and looking back I think I have always had a crush on him. I was attracted to him by his smile and neat, stylish dress. As we became good friends, I also became attracted to his ambition and drive for his career goals. To me he would be an ideal partner.
Two years ago, I was the first person he ever came out to. We are both gay men. I have always been open about my sexual orientation with him and the others in our friend group from the very beginning, but he never told anyone before he told me. I kept his secret for the past two years as he gradually told all the others.
When he came out, a rush of feelings came with his announcement. Although I thought little of having a crush on him before he came out, when he did came out I realized that I have a chance with him. I kept any romantic or sexual feelings towards him to myself because he was just becoming comfortable with his sexuality and was not ready to pursue anything romantic or sexual with anyone yet. Two weeks later, I moved overseas and he also moved away to attend a university hundreds of miles away. During that time, he began dating and becoming sexually active with other men as he became more comfortable with himself.
The last few times I've seen him I've wanted to tell him how I feel about him, but I couldn't because I don't want to make our friendship awkward. I confided in one of my other best friends about my feelings for him (she's a mutual friend of ours). She told me that even before he came out, she thought he and I would make a good couple.
When he came to visit me overseas, I wanted to tell him and even thought about pursuing him sexually, but I didn't. Since we've both moved back home, we've seen each other a few times and we've been alone in his car at some point most of those times. I've wanted to tell him but the power of my thoughts of "what if he doesn't take this well" overpowers my desire to tell him how I feel about him. I also don't want us to be a situation of "of course the two gay guys in our group became a couple." Talking to him about what he wants and likes in a guy, we both have very similar desires.
What should I do? I want to tell him but I don't want things to be awkward later if he rejects me.
He will not reject you.Life is way too short and you need to tell him how you feel.You will be glad that you did.Obviously this has been something that has been weighing on your mind for years.Please just open up to him about how you feel.If he is the sort of guy that you had always felt comfortable telling him anything...this shouldn't be left out.
How about a romantic dinner and a bottle of wine? Wouldn’t that help?
Do it while he’s still available.
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