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OP, you stated your age in another thread. I would have guessed you to be 20 years older based on what you've written here.
Your expectations about flower choice and intimacy are not realistic. It would be helpful to your potential dates if you wrote something in your profile to address that.
Oh, and don't accept expensive gifts from strangers (your term) on your second date.
I read it as they related to the OP's being loath to hold hands, although I doubt she's making out with men BEFORE holding hands. It's a different mindset, and honestly neither is the norm.
When I was growing up, holding hands was one of the "first steps," and no one I knew believed that it was more intimate than sex LMAO.
The first date with the first man included the question : is this a date? That was the cue for the OP to indicate interest. Yes meant interested, no meant not interested. Presumably the answer was yes, as there were four more dates. One of the dates included a bouquet of flowers, but apparently that was justification for criticism because they were the wrong flowers. By the fifth date, the man wanted a kiss. If there was genuine chemistry and interest, this would not be a problem. Instead, a first kiss after five dates was a deal breaker.
Why go on five dates when there's no chemistry? Why look for fault in places where there is only good intention: the wrong flowers? This strikes me as far more serious than being "picky", to the extent that it appears to be a fault finding mission.
Why go on five dates when there's no chemistry? Why look for fault in places where there is only good intention: the wrong flowers? This strikes me as far more serious than being "picky", to the extent that it appears to be a fault finding mission.
I am starting to think there aren't any normal and confident guys out there.
I won't try to paint that broad of a brush, but the guys you are looking for that are socially well-adjusted aren't in OD sites. They have their dates lined up already. You know this, but in any event, I am fond of saying "Water finds its lowest level!" and OD sites seem to prove that time and time again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteGem
Will keep ad up until the end of this month and then I give up with OLD. Maybe the universe is trying to telling me something.
Guy finds you likable, yet you recoil in disgust. Were you dropped on your head as a young tot? Enlist in a nunnery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
Pulled your hand away???
After the first date you were no longer strangers.
Most normal men would take that as a signal that you don't even like him
This is true and I already got a pretty unlikable vibe about OP pretty early on in this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
These guys aren't doing anything offensive.
Of course, they're not. They're doing what's always been expected of them. Chase the woman and set the tone. See how that's working out...
Often hand holding comes much later than other things. I had first Bumble date Friday night and there was copious amounts of making out, but no PDA. It was a really fun date.
For me, it's the opposite. Hand holding tends to come first and at the same time, a preference of mine.
Moved on to the next however not sure what I'm doing wrong. New guy, met for lunch, seemed normal and we kept in touch. Invited me to dinner, nice restaurant, afterwards while walking me to my car, he goes to hold my hand, I pulled it away and by the car he goes and kisses me. Disappointed, won't be seeing him again, not sure what I'm doing wrong to give the signal that I am interested in being touched by a stranger, find this extremely disrespectful. Will keep ad up until the end of this month and then I give up with OLD. Maybe the universe is trying to telling me something.
Yeah, if a woman rejects me holding her hand, no way would I attempt to go in for a kiss.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
For me, it's the opposite. Hand holding tends to come first and at the same time, a preference of mine.
And that's fine. This woman is a no PDA woman. I've met many. So we could date for months or years and there would be no handholding or hugging, etc in public.
I am 35 and have only had two men in my life. The first one was my everything, met when I was 16 and stayed pure went on to get married and have a child. Unfortunately he cheated so I left him and got the divorce. After that I dated someone within the first year of the divorce and for less than a year that I knew through work (we did not work for the same company), left him due to his addictive behavior.
After that I have stayed single and working on myself to find out why I accept losers and have been happy although I wouldn't mind to meet someone nice to share fun times with and build a relationship. I am very affectionate however do not feel comfortable to get physical with someone who I do not know for some time. I do not want to rush into a physical relationship and would rather take my time to get to know the person and see if we connect and are compatible.
I do not believe in holding hands or kissing what isn't mine for the long term and would prefer to wait at least 6 months before getting into anything further. I see nothing wrong with this and feel good that I have maintained my principles even though the world says yes, I prefer to say no until it feels right for me. I find this to be healthier emotionally and physically.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteGem
I do not believe in holding hands or kissing what isn't mine for the long term and would prefer to wait at least 6 months before getting into anything further. I see nothing wrong with this and feel good that I have maintained my principles even though the world says yes, I prefer to say no until it feels right for me. I find this to be healthier emotionally and physically.
There isn't anything wrong with this, but it is your responsibility to make this known up front to guys. This is VERY unusual. That is fine, it is ok to be you, but you should make that clear and up front so guys know this ahead of time. Keeping it to yourself, and then judging men for acting normally, and blaming them for it and rejecting them for it is NOT ok.
[quote=timberline742;51225497]There isn't anything wrong with this, but it is your responsibility to make this known up front to guys. This is VERY unusual. That is fine, it is ok to be you, but you should make that clear and up front so guys know this ahead of time. Keeping it to yourself, and then judging men for acting normally, and blaming them for it and rejecting them for it is NOT ok.[/QUOTE
You got that right!
That she will not allow even the most mild physical contact should be clearly stated in her profile.
Why waste the time of the majority of men?
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