Guy suddenly goes nuts during our phone conversation.... (guys, college, jealous)

[Auraliea]

Welp good luck to you SLS.

I'm sure you'll find a good way to navigate your relationships and make decisions based on what's best for you.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

So I’ve been talking to this guy who I met on a dating site for the past few days. We met in person once a few years ago and discussed going out again, but we stopped communicating after he ignored one of my texts (he says he remembers meeting me, but he can’t remember the specifics of our meeting or why we stopped talking). So I’m like, ok whatever, I’m willing to reconnect and see how things go. We’ve been talking on the phone a lot and it’s been great. I felt like we were understanding each other and that we were making a real connection. I even told my dad about this guy and he was really impressed (and my dad isn’t very easy to impress). I’m not one to get my hopes up, but I felt good about how things were going. Let me be clear that my interest in him is not primarily based on how he looks. I think he’s attractive enough, but I was more interested in the fact that our conversations were going so well and he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me and allowing me to get to know him. We’ve talked about some really serious subjects that I don’t usually talk about with other people and he’s been very easy to talk to. He’s told me about his family and how he grew up. He’s very intelligent and he’s done a lot of traveling, so he’s knowledgeable about lots of things. It’s been great! Well, up until last night it had been great.

So he called me last night and of course I was excited to hear from him. So we were talking about his day and the conversation seemed fairly normal. Then I thought he was having phone issues or something because I didn’t hear him talking anymore. So I texted him asking if he was having phone issues and he sent me a text that I think was meant for his mom (he had been talking to his parents that night too and maybe he was still texting with them). So anyway I called him back asking whether he was having phone issues and he acts like he didn’t even realize that our conversation got cut off. And I was like, “Well, you didn’t hear me saying anything for the past few minutes, did you?” lol And he’s like, “I’m sorry, I’m just distracted by my parents.” And I’m like “Ok, but you told me that you just talked to them before you called me and everything was fine.” He’s like, “Well yeah, I thought everything was fine but I’m not really sure.” So at this point, I’m noticing that he’s talking kinda slowly and he sounds a bit strange so I asked him, “Did you take something today? Like medication or drugs or something?” And he’s like “No, but I had a beer earlier today.” I’m like “Are you sure that was all because you sound a bit out of it.” At first he seemed to get a little offended that I was asking him this, but then he was trying to say something and it was like completely incoherent. So he goes, “Wait a minute. What’s wrong with me? Have I been drugged?!” He starts taking deep breaths like he’s trying to calm himself down or something. And I’m like, “Well, when would you have been drugged? Haven’t you been home for the past few hours? What else did you do today besides what you already told me?” And then he just abruptly hung up on me! lol

So yeah, what the hell was that about?? Part of me is saying, “Ok, he’s nuts. It’s time to move on,” but I’m also a bit worried about him and will probably contact him later today to see if he’s ok. But if he wasn’t intoxicated, he seems to have some kind of mental issue...I’m not sure which one would cause that type of behavior though. He has mentioned issues with his family before, but could stress from talking to his parents really trigger him to act so strangely? Because that was just super weird!

I vote for intoxicated and lying about it. Either drugs or too much to drink. He said he had a beer. He might have had six. People who drink six beers always say they had a beer or two. As if.

As somebody else said, proceed on yellow flag. See if it happens again, how often, what time of day or night, etc.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by JerZ

What makes it weird to me is not that it could be legitimate, like narcolepsy or even just being tired. To me, the odd vibe is in his acting scared/freaked/trying to cover. I mean if you talk in your sleep wouldn’t you just say “ha ha, yeah, sorry about last night, I talk with in my sleep, it used to freak my parents out”? Like...wouldn’t it be just that simple?

Not if he was recently prescribed a sleep aid, and it's having side effects he's not really aware of yet or wasn't expecting.

Oh, and if he had a beer with a sleep drug? Yeah. Not recommended for good reasons.

But whether to continue trying to date this fellow or not, is going to be up to SLS but if she does...yellow flag. Caution. Watch, listen, and take it super slow with any personal investment, I'd suggest.

I mean, that's just my perspective. I took chances with a really weird guy, with really weird behaviors, once and while I did get upset when he got all flaky and we eventually ended, if I had it to do over again I would not have "run" from him--he was FUN and no harm came of it, and I've got a few good memories. Thing is, I tried really hard to figure out what was behind his strange behaviors, I had all of these guesses, but I never could solve the mystery of him. I finally had to just accept that I might never know. My only mistake was getting a little too emotionally invested in him, a bit too fast.

So whatever she does, I'd suggest that OP guards her heart.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Not if he was recently prescribed a sleep aid, and it's having side effects he's not really aware of yet or wasn't expecting.

Oh, and if he had a beer with a sleep drug? Yeah. Not recommended for good reasons.

But whether to continue trying to date this fellow or not, is going to be up to SLS but if she does...yellow flag. Caution. Watch, listen, and take it super slow with any personal investment, I'd suggest.

I mean, that's just my perspective. I took chances with a really weird guy, with really weird behaviors, once and while I did get upset when he got all flaky and we eventually ended, if I had it to do over again I would not have "run" from him--he was FUN and no harm came of it, and I've got a few good memories. Thing is, I tried really hard to figure out what was behind his strange behaviors, I had all of these guesses, but I never could solve the mystery of him. I finally had to just accept that I might never know. My only mistake was getting a little too emotionally invested in him, a bit too fast.

So whatever she does, I'd suggest that OP guards her heart.

Okay, but where did it say he was prescribed a sleep aid???

Again...he could just say that. "Man, I was so out of it last night. My first time trying Ambien. So weird."

SLS said she's just being friendly for now so it seems like that part's all good. But she asked whether it was weird so...it does seem weird. Just his whole treatment of it. IMO.

But she's going slowly, so...

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Okay, but where did it say he was prescribed a sleep aid???

Again...he could just say that. "Man, I was so out of it last night. My first time trying Ambien. So weird."

SLS said she's just being friendly for now so it seems like that part's all good. But she asked whether it was weird so...it does seem weird. Just his whole treatment of it. IMO.

But she's going slowly, so...

Yes. It is definitely weird.

I'm only saying "There could be a logical explanation." And I would personally be kinda curious what it might be.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Yes. It is definitely weird.

I'm only saying "There could be a logical explanation." And I would personally be kinda curious what it might be.

Ok, we spoke about the drugs and he says he hasn’t taken any drugs since college but he does talk in his sleep sometimes. Anyway, we’re currently not on great terms, so tell me if I overreacted. We started talking last Thursday. He worked last weekend so I figured we would meet up this weekend. He hung out with his gay friend on Sunday, Monday (spent the night over his house), and they were out of town together on Tuesday and Wednesday to celebrate the holiday together. He’s been communicating with me every day, so he would mention that he was hanging out with his friend and that’s how I knew.

So he texted me today and I asked him what day does he want to get together. He said that this weekend wasn’t really good for him so maybe next weekend. And I was like “Oh really, what’s going on this weekend? You’re not going to have any free time on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?” And he said that he has to go to an event with his coworkers on Friday evening, Saturday he’s going to a ticketed event with his gay friend, and he’ll be busy preparing for work Sunday evening but maybe we could get together early Sunday. Now, I totally understand that people have friends and social lives and all that, but you can’t make any time for me because you’re hanging out with your gay friend practically every day? I hate that I sound like a jealous girlfriend already, but that’s how I feel about the situation. So I told him that I think people make time for the things they want to make time for and he was like “You’re being weird about this” and I didn’t text anything back after that. I mean, I really don’t think that there’s anything sexual going on with his gay friend, but as much time as they spend together, they might as well be dating. I’m not ok with being put on the backburner for that.

Ok, am I wrong? lol Maybe there was a better way that I could’ve handled the situation without getting snippy and showing him that I was annoyed, but I couldn’t help it so I just said what was on my mind.

[ClaraC]

I think you were right to say what you said.

He seems weird to begin with, and he is really uninterested in getting together. This is the way you'd treat someone who wants to come over and use your kitchen. Yahhh, actually I'm busy but maybe we can work something out next weekend.

For the record, I have never in my life fallen asleep while talking briefly on the phone, nor has anyone I've ever been talking to fallen asleep.

Unless there's something about him that really really interests you, SWS, I'd say move on.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

I think you were right to say what you said.

He seems weird to begin with, and he is really uninterested in getting together. This is the way you'd treat someone who wants to come over and use your kitchen. Yahhh, actually I'm busy but maybe we can work something out next weekend.

For the record, I have never in my life fallen asleep while talking briefly on the phone, nor has anyone I've ever been talking to fallen asleep.

Unless there's something about him that really really interests you, SWS, I'd say move on.

Thanks! I agree and I think I’m done at this point.

[weezerfan84]

Yeah, I told you that earlier this week or last week. This was a no go. I think you knew it too, but you wanted to give it a shot anyways. Most of the time when know when something is a no go or not, but we can be stubborn and try to force it through anyways. Best of luck on getting back out there and meeting someone more interested in actually getting to know you and see you.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by weezerfan84

Yeah, I told you that earlier this week or last week. This was a no go. I think you knew it too, but you wanted to give it a shot anyways. Most of the time when know when something is a no go or not, but we can be stubborn and try to force it through anyways. Best of luck on getting back out there and meeting someone more interested in actually getting to know you and see you.

Yeah. I mean, he’s 35 not 25. I’m sure if his gay friend were straight, he’d most likely be spending time with his wife and kids and not hanging out with him every day. But it is what it is.