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his whole face lights up. he seems so excited and interested in her baby. They've been chatting on a skype video call for like 2 hours now, I can hear is my boyfriend gushing at the baby. i feel unwanted and unneeded.
I don't know I just feel jealous and resentful. I honestly can't help it. I want to be happy for others esp as its his sister, but I don't have it in me as I just feel like the world is unfair.
My boyfriends sister and her boyfriend had only been together for 1 year before they had a baby. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years. Still, there's no mention of us ever having our first baby... is it even going to happen? I feel like I'm going to be waiting forever.
My boyfriend just expects me to stay on birth control forever. does he just expect our child never to exist in the world? That everyone else can just have as many children as they want, many people who have a lot less to offer a child than me and my boyfriend, many people in worse situations.
My boyfriends always telling me about his sisters baby, he always seems excited when he sees the baby over skype, one time me and my boyfriend were out shopping and we were in the baby section of the store and my boyfriend was looking at the baby stuff, telling me how he was really excited to be able to buy baby stuff for his sisters baby. We were also at a family gathering and his sisters 3 year old step son was at the gathering (the only child there) and it was the first time we'd met him and my boyfriend was playing with him and he mentioned to me how it was really nice to have a child around for a change.
I'm 25 now and me and my boyfriend have already been together for 5 years and living together for 4 years. We are both very sensible and responsible, my mother would love to be a grandma, we both have had lovely stable upbringings ourselves, we both eat very healthy diets, my boyfriend has a professional job which pays $50,000 with benefits, we both have more than enough to offer a child. I guess its just never going to happen, I'm an only child and I've wanted to have a baby brother or sister all my life, that never happened. since i got with my boyfriend, i wanted a baby 5 years on thats never happened and i don't have any hope that it ever will. things just feel impossible. i feel like were the only intentionally childless couple in the world.
for example, his sister was not in an ideal situation to have a child. shes living with my boyfriends parents and her flat is undergoing major renovation works. If it was me and my boyfriend in this situation, then he would never even consider having a child. we'd have to wait until all of the renovations works were complete etc etc. i also used to have a full-time job (i left recently), my boyfriend also had a full-time job even then this was not enough, he still wanted me on birth control, a child was not ever a consideration. maybe its never going to happen. we have more than enough to offer...
we've talked about having children before, but my boyfriend has said things like he wants to wait 10 or 15 years or he thinks 35 would be a good age to have a job (hes 23 right now). i understand that hes still in his early 20's but still are we going to be putting this off forever?
Why is he expecting me to never want children and to just stay on birth control forever (i've already been on it for 5 years and counting)???
I just want our child to exist!
i haven't told my boyfriend how I feel, but with him always insisting im on birth control whats the point...
Last edited by palmtrees099; 08-28-2018 at 06:09 AM..
his whole face lights up. he seems so excited and interested in her baby. They've been chatting on a skype video call for like 2 hours now, I can hear is my boyfriend gushing at the baby. i feel unwanted and unneeded.
You are. You're the Bulgarian's default choice, not Ms. Right but Ms. Right Now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
I don't know I just feel jealous and resentful. I honestly can't help it. I want to be happy for others esp as its his sister, but I don't have it in me as I just feel like the world is unfair.
My boyfriends sister and her boyfriend had only been together for 1 year before they had a baby. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years. Still, there's no mention of us ever having our first baby... is it even going to happen? I feel like I'm going to be waiting forever.
My boyfriend just expects me to stay on birth control forever. does he just expect our child never to exist in the world? That everyone else can just have as many children as they want, many people who have a lot less to offer a child than me and my boyfriend, many people in worse situations.
My boyfriends always telling me about his sisters baby, he always seems excited when he sees the baby over skype, one time me and my boyfriend were out shopping and we were in the baby section of the store and my boyfriend was looking at the baby stuff, telling me how he was really excited to be able to buy baby stuff for his sisters baby. We were also at a family gathering and his sisters 3 year old step son was at the gathering (the only child there) and it was the first time we'd met him and my boyfriend was playing with him and he mentioned to me how it was really nice to have a child around for a change.
I'm 25 now and me and my boyfriend have already been together for 5 years and living together for 4 years. We are both very sensible and responsible, my mother would love to be a grandma, we both have had lovely stable upbringings ourselves, we both eat very healthy diets, my boyfriend has a professional job which pays $50,000 with benefits, we both have more than enough to offer a child. I guess its just never going to happen, I'm an only child and I've wanted to have a baby brother or sister all my life, that never happened. since i got with my boyfriend, i wanted a baby 5 years on thats never happened and i don't have any hope that it ever will. things just feel impossible. i feel like were the only intentionally childless couple in the world.
for example, his sister was not in an ideal situation to have a child. shes living with my boyfriends parents and her flat is undergoing major renovation works. If it was me and my boyfriend in this situation, then he would never even consider having a child. we'd have to wait until all of the renovations works were complete etc etc. i also used to have a full-time job (i left recently), my boyfriend also had a full-time job even then this was not enough, he still wanted me on birth control, a child was not ever a consideration. maybe its never going to happen.
we've talked about having children before, but my boyfriend has said things like he wants to wait 10 or 15 years or he thinks 35 would be a good age to have a job (hes 23 right now). i understand that hes still in his early 20's but still are we going to be putting this off forever?
Why is he expecting me to never want children and to just stay on birth control forever (i've already been on it for 5 years and counting)???
I just want our child to exist!
It's extremely immature and selfish to expect a baby to fill the void of unhappiness in your life. The VERY last thing you need right now, and with this guy, is to get pregnant.
You're not ready to have a child if you're unable to have this conversation with your boyfriend. You don't sound very mature.
If this is a deal breaker for you and he won't budge on the 10-15 year plan, you need to move on.
isn't the fact that he always checks to see if ive remembered to bring my birth control EVERY TIME that we go away for the weekend or go on holiday together... basically the same as us having this conversation anyway?? thats basically just him wanting to absolutely stop our child from ever existing??? yet there he is in the other room, gushing at his sisters baby over a skype call
I don't think you two are ready to have a child together. If you can't talk to him about this, that is a big sign that neither of you should consider being parents together right now.
I also sense some jealousy on your part which isn't a good thing. Will you be jealous when he spends time and gushes over a child?
I also sense some void in your life that you think a baby will fill. While children do bring lots of joy into one's life, filling a void isn't a great reason to want to be a parent. Many days the joy is minimal and the work of being a parent is overwhelming.
Just a guess, but the sister's baby wasn't planned. Your boyfriend is wise enough to understand and want to be in a good place emotionally and financially before he has a child. He's also very young.
I also sense some jealousy on your part which isn't a good thing. Will you be jealous when he spends time and gushes over a child?
No kidding.
Her boyfriend is genuinely excited to be an uncle, and instead of being happy about the baby the OP is throwing a fit because she's not getting the kind of attention she thinks she wants.
I don't think you two are ready to have a child together. If you can't talk to him about this, that is a big sign that neither of you should consider being parents together right now.
I also sense some jealousy on your part which isn't a good thing. Will you be jealous when he spends time and gushes over a child?
I also sense some void in your life that you think a baby will fill. While children do bring lots of joy into one's life, filling a void isn't a great reason to want to be a parent. Many days the joy is minimal and the work of being a parent is overwhelming.
Just a guess, but the sister's baby wasn't planned. Your boyfriend is wise enough to understand and want to be in a good place emotionally and financially before he has a child. He's also very young.
yes, im dreading christmas (we are going over there to spend christmas with my boyfriends family), it will be the first time we meet his sisters baby. i'm sure its going to bring up really weird emotions seeing him with his sisters baby.
we are emotionally and financially ready... i can;t tell you this enough
yes, im dreading christmas (we are going over there to spend christmas with my boyfriends family), it will be the first time we meet his sisters baby. i'm sure its going to bring up really weird emotions seeing him with his sisters baby.
we are emotionally and financially ready... i can;t tell you this enough
...we are emotionally and financially ready... i can;t tell you this enough...
Well, then, go down to the JP, get married, fully commingle your finances, make wills leaving everything you own to each other, make each other the beneficiaries on all your insurance policies/bank accounts/retirement accounts, and live that way for a couple years, then you will be able to assess whether you are REALLY emotionally and financially ready to make a child.
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