Picky people who wound up old and alone (marriage, guy, younger)

[Lovehound]

No. The only old and alone people I know are alone by personal choice.

[timberline742]

People often equate being single with being alone on this board, for some odd reason. They are two different things.

[Lovehound]

Then the only old and single people I know are single by personal choice.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by timberline742

People often equate being single with being alone on this board, for some odd reason. They are two different things.

True.

I am however assuming "alone" to be more than single when speaking to this.

A single person who has FB or FWB or dates frequently, and so on, is not "alone."

I'm referring to those who rarely go on a date, and when they do, there's never a second date. They reject each prospect quickly. Or they don't date at all.

The ones who don't date and just live alone and aren't trying to date for whatever reason, no matter if they are old widows or old virgins, if they're content with their lot then more power to 'em.

The only people who get tiresome, are the ones who complain about their solitude, and if you make a suggestion, they tell you why that doesn't work, and you make another suggestion, and they shoot that down too...and so really, they just want to be allowed to have their problems and aggrieved feelings, not to actually change anything. The "I'm not here to get advice, I'm only here to complain" set. Only they don't disclaimer that, they just jump right in. And nothing is EVER their own fault or responsibility. They are alone because of evil wimminz or because there are no good men or because life is so unfair or whatever.

There is "alone" by choice. (Whether permanent, or until one finds what one wants.)

And there is perpetual self-sabotage "alone."

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary

I am pretty sure she is saying she coped better because she didn't define herself as only the wife of her late husband. It was just an example, not literal.

Why does she think other women define themselves this way? Because they take their husband's last name or don't work outside the home? Feminists need to stop being so arrogant.

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

Why does she think other women define themselves this way? Because they take their husband's last name or don't work outside the home? Feminists need to stop being so arrogant.

Feminists? You're reaching, sir. The same holds true for men. If they center their identity around being someone else's spouse, rather than having a rich life of career, hobbies and friends, then surely it will be harder for them to cope when the spouse dies. Common sense.

[Mikala43]

Nope

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

Why does she think other women define themselves this way? Because they take their husband's last name or don't work outside the home? Feminists need to stop being so arrogant.

OMG. She was saying her time single, and being independent made it easier for her.

Seriously.

I was widowed at 40. It was probably much easier on me because I had a career, did my own investments, had been single a lot of my life, and took care of the finances.

Just a fact.

[Lovehound]

So far it looks like the consensus is that old people who are alone/single are mostly doing so by choice.

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

Ever know anyone who was too picky and then woke up one day and realized they were old and alone? I'm prepared for an onslaught of defensive replies here, just so everyone knows.

I used to think my sister was too picky. And then she met her husband. He's a great guy, they've been married 20+ years.


I wasn't picky enough in regards to my first husband. I thought he was the best I could do (and that I was doing pretty good), and thought I was lucky to have him. Even though there were red flags, and relationship troubles.


With my current husband, I had decided, before I met him, that I'd rather never date again, then get involved with the wrong person ever again. After a 3 month dry spell, I met my husband.