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Rosegold, this is the relationship your SO wants. He wants to have ALL the power, and you have none.
If he hadn't caught you in whatever that lie was, he'd find something else to make himself the power holder, and you the groveler.
Yuck. Show this one the door!
(He's not attempting to forgive you, and never will).
Funny thing is he knows he has the power but says he doesn't want it, he says he likes when I try to put my foot down and assert myself but then when i do I'm ignored and not taking seriously. After the recent situation I asserted myself to him and he had no response.
He’s not going to ever forgive you. You behaved in a way that made him feel bad one time? Now he gets to “pay you back” by making you feel bad repeatedly for over a year?
Think about it. Why don’t you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect?
Forgive him for behaving this way, and then tell him you might try again when he’s all better.
Then work on yourself and your insecurities, alone.
He’s not going to ever forgive you. You behaved in a way that made him feel bad one time? Now he gets to “pay you back” by making you feel bad repeatedly for over a year?
Think about it. Why don’t you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect?
Forgive him for behaving this way, and then tell him you might try again when he’s all better.
Then work on yourself and your insecurities, alone.
Thats my entire concern. What happened happened once and I've done a great job showing that I'm sorry among being a good partner to him. He felt me hurting him over a year ago means I don't deserve love and respect and kindness. He says he's still mad about the situation even though it's not something that is on going or should have lasting effects.
Thats my entire concern. What happened happened once and I've done a great job showing that I'm sorry among being a good partner to him. He felt me hurting him over a year ago means I don't deserve love and respect and kindness. He says he's still mad about the situation even though it's not something that is on going or should have lasting effects.
Thats my entire concern. What happened happened once and I've done a great job showing that I'm sorry among being a good partner to him. He felt me hurting him over a year ago means I don't deserve love and respect and kindness. He says he's still mad about the situation even though it's not something that is on going or should have lasting effects.
Well, it's your life, your choice.
Ten years from now, he's still going to be throwing this in your face.
If that's how you want to live, you can choose to.
Thats my entire concern. What happened happened once and I've done a great job showing that I'm sorry among being a good partner to him. He felt me hurting him over a year ago means I don't deserve love and respect and kindness. He says he's still mad about the situation even though it's not something that is on going or should have lasting effects.
and what are you getting from this relationship?
why do you think there is no other man out there for you who knows how to forgive?
are you dependent on him for something?
if you are asking if his behavior is normal, it is not. there are a lot of men out there who know how to love women and understand no one is perfect.
if you hadn't done whatever you did back then, there would have been something else you did and he would still hold it against you.
Thats my entire concern. What happened happened once and I've done a great job showing that I'm sorry among being a good partner to him. He felt me hurting him over a year ago means I don't deserve love and respect and kindness. He says he's still mad about the situation even though it's not something that is on going or should have lasting effects.
Is it that you enjoy groveling? I can’t think of any other reason to tolerate this unless you are financially dependent on him. If you are, fix that.
I'm not ready to let go, no. Truth be told when we're in person we are great, no arguments genuinely enjoying each others company, laughing etc. But when we're not it's like arguing (that he starts, i see no reason to argue with him), he's distant towards me, moody, disinterested but in person it's the complete opposite. He has great qualities but is still holding on from something that happened over a year ago. That I've given no new reason to still question or doubt me. We'll be fine for several weeks then he'll like just get mad as if it happened yesterday. But what frustrates me most is that he feels like since I made a mistake then I can't possibly have feelings or needs that I want met.
I'm not ready to let go, no. Truth be told when we're in person we are great, no arguments genuinely enjoying each others company, laughing etc. But when we're not it's like arguing (that he starts, i see no reason to argue with him), he's distant towards me, moody, disinterested but in person it's the complete opposite. He has great qualities but is still holding on from something that happened over a year ago. That I've given no new reason to still question or doubt me. We'll be fine for several weeks then he'll like just get mad as if it happened yesterday. But what frustrates me most is that he feels like since I made a mistake then I can't possibly have feelings or needs that I want met.
Do you not see that this situation is not sustainable?
Do you live together?
If he actually feels that way, he’s either a coward or a bully for not leaving you in June 2017.
So if you stay, you’ll only be living a life of walking on eggshells. Why do you think so little of yourself?
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