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Do you not see that this situation is not sustainable?
Do you live together?
If he actually feels that way, he’s either a coward or a bully for not leaving you in June 2017.
So if you stay, you’ll only be living a life of walking on eggshells. Why do you think so little of yourself?
We don't live together.
I'm just a firm believer of working things out especially when they are repairable. I just want him to learn that forgiveness is okay and doesn't get me off the hook (that's how he see's it). His friends even vouch for me. He just thinks negatively all the time about the situation that no longer has any bearing on what we currently have going on.
I'm just a firm believer of working things out especially when they are repairable. I just want him to learn that forgiveness is okay and doesn't get me off the hook (that's how he see's it). His friends even vouch for me. He just thinks negatively all the time about the situation that no longer has any bearing on what we currently have going on.
By continually accepting his behavior of emotional abuse (the title of your thread) you are encouraging it to continue.
Yes, one partner is inflicting pain, the other accepts (for over a year?) or needs it. The pattern has been enforced now, you don’t want to end it, so just recognize the 2 of you are in a sadomasochist relationship.
I'm just a firm believer of working things out especially when they are repairable. I just want him to learn that forgiveness is okay and doesn't get me off the hook (that's how he see's it). His friends even vouch for me. He just thinks negatively all the time
Basically, this says you're willing to put up with emotional abuse for as long as necessary. Seek therapy.
I'm not ready to let go, no. Truth be told when we're in person we are great, no arguments genuinely enjoying each others company, laughing etc. But when we're not it's like arguing (that he starts, i see no reason to argue with him), he's distant towards me, moody, disinterested but in person it's the complete opposite. He has great qualities but is still holding on from something that happened over a year ago. That I've given no new reason to still question or doubt me. We'll be fine for several weeks then he'll like just get mad as if it happened yesterday. But what frustrates me most is that he feels like since I made a mistake then I can't possibly have feelings or needs that I want met.
What magic are you waiting on that will change this?
Because that's exactly what it would need to be: Magic.
Sounds like someone is nursing the pain from the lie-becareful of people who like to stay in pain patterns.They won't let the relationship heal. Some people prefer to be in a relationship with pain.
No amount of "I'm sorry's" in the world could ever change that.
Once the trust was shattered.... it was gone, (and so was I).
I don't hand out "boxes of trust" for Christmas presents.
She had it... She threw it away... I moved on.
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