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Been to meet the parents, the brothers, the friends...he brought up "where are we going in the future" talk the other night on the weekend...I have no idea what he's fishing for?! To me, I know that he will eventually want a family and children and I've already done that been there....just kind of wondering how to answer that question. He has told me that he already feels this is more than just a sexual relationship. I've been trying to keep my head straight and not get emotionally attached. My girfriends have said that maybe he just thinks he's a sex object to me and that's why he's questioning things. He's met my girlfriends, we've all been out together...I just don't know how to respond.
...he brought up "where are we going in the future" talk the other night on the weekend...I have no idea what he's fishing for?! To me, I know that he will eventually want a family and children and I've already done that been there....just kind of wondering how to answer that question. He has told me that he already feels this is more than just a sexual relationship.
SierraAZ, in light of this, I beg to differ with you. Apparently, the 23-year-old guy wants "a family and children". It's common knowledge that a 46-year-old woman would be running huge risks trying to get pregnant at that age... okay, it CAN happen, but they say that the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome or any of many other birth defects increases exponentially after age 40. Not to mention, they're not married yet. Even if they got married tomorrow, Ladywithafan would be 47 by the time their child (Babywithtwoparents? ) came along. Not many women are willing to risk that.
By contrast, if the 23-year-old guy is willing to adopt, rather than fathering his own biological children with her, then they don't have to worry about a high-risk pregnancy. They can just worry about being parents... and then as long as Ladywithafan is cool with being nearly 70 by the time Babywithtwoparents graduates college, the skies will be blue for them.
If he isn't willing to adopt, and she isn't willing to undergo a very-high-risk pregnancy, then... if he really wants a family and children... the relationship will have to end and he'll have to find someone who is willing to bear his biological children.
Last edited by NWPAguy; 05-21-2008 at 12:02 PM..
Reason: addendum
Been to meet the parents, the brothers, the friends...he brought up "where are we going in the future" talk the other night on the weekend...I have no idea what he's fishing for?! To me, I know that he will eventually want a family and children and I've already done that been there....just kind of wondering how to answer that question. He has told me that he already feels this is more than just a sexual relationship. I've been trying to keep my head straight and not get emotionally attached. My girfriends have said that maybe he just thinks he's a sex object to me and that's why he's questioning things. He's met my girlfriends, we've all been out together...I just don't know how to respond.
Been together since the end of April.
It sounds like you are being a little selfish and unfair to him by being in this relationship because you "know that he will eventually want a family and children," you said in your OP. And if you think you could adopt like others are saying, the fact that you said you have "already done that been there" would be unfair to a child you would not be able to give 100% of yourself to. You are at a different stage in your life than a 23 year old. It sounds like you have done those things already and you are ready to just enjoy yourself; perhaps you had a career already and/or are seasoned in your career while a 23 year old is JUST starting out. He won't be able to do some things you would like to do, travel like you may want to, or what have you.
How did meeting the parents and family go? Do they know the age difference? Just curious....
I went to pick him up from a family wedding reception and then he brought me into the party...it went very nicely. Been over to the family home as well...his mom is three years older than me and I think his father is early 50's.
I'm not sure if he's told them about the age thing yet
It sounds like you are being a little selfish and unfair to him by being in this relationship because you "know that he will eventually want a family and children," you said in your OP. And if you think you could adopt like others are saying, the fact that you said you have "already done that been there" would be unfair to a child you would not be able to give 100% of yourself to. You are at a different stage in your life than a 23 year old. It sounds like you have done those things already and you are ready to just enjoy yourself; perhaps you had a career already and/or are seasoned in your career while a 23 year old is JUST starting out. He won't be able to do some things you would like to do, travel like you may want to, or what have you.
He told me he wants to have children; and I'm the type of woman he's looking for...just happen to be older. He does like older women. And I was thinking about the adoption thing. That would not bother me as I love children....mine are 12 and 10...by the time anyone reaches 46, you're a bit seasoned...I would be able to give 100% but I didn't think that we were that intense at the moment, but he thinks a lot.
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) came along. Not many women are willing to risk that.
