Ghosted after traveling to meet a guy (dates, woman, call)
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I'd never in a million yrs do anything like fly out for a guy I barely know, heck, I've never & haven't ever driven 1 hr for some stranger...call me boring or whatever, ha! I hope he paid for 1/2 of this trip for you to come out, but I doubt it.
Why in the world would you message him ever again anymore? Don't do it. You were just someone out of who knows how many other women in his life who he wanted to divert his attention from his loser life for a while for his own selfish needs so he used you for the moment & ghosted you when he didn't care anymore.
There could be countless possibiliites of why he even wanted you to come out in the 1st place. That's what happens when you go this far out of your way for a stranger. Heck, people barely know some people they've known for 10+ yrs.
My guess...his girlfriend was going out of town for that same weekend, so he figured he'd have a little fun & contact the gullible, softies of all the women he halfway kind of knew (YOU) who'd actually agree to fly way out there to be w/ him for the weekend.
So however much longer you have on your trip, just enjoy yourself, enjoy the sights, shop, etc. ALONE until you have to go back. No use flying back at this very moment now if you don't want to.
Yea this is not something I would normally do but I met him in my favorite place key west so figured why not. Made a vacation out of it but I was looking forward to having a tour guide/buddy to hang with. It’s ok I still had a fun night last night regardless and will enjoy the rest of my trip. You can’t not have fun in key west.
But yes will not be doing something like this ever again!! Lesson learned lol
I'm getting hung up on some of the details of the story. OP, why was he (supposedly)working on the weekend? Did you know before you booked the trip, that he worked weekends, or do you think that could be something he just made up after spending the night with you?
My take: he wanted you to move in with him for the weekend or duration of your stay. You out-manouvered him by booking a hotel, which in his mind, sent an off-putting signal. So he decided to try for whatever he could get out of you, scored on the first night, then decided he couldn't be bothered to show you around the rest of the time, since you weren't ok with providing him with free sex (and maybe cook for him too) while you were in town.
You were lucky. The last woman we heard about, who flew out to see a guy she'd never even met (they "met" on instagram), ended up dead. The guy she went to see was later discovered to be married, using a buddy's apt. to pretend he was single, then took her on a hike in AZ in triple-digit heat, with no water supply, which killed her. Her "date"s story to police (he was a cop, investigated by his colleagues)? "Oh. Oops. What a shame."
On the other hand, you may be missing something. 20+ years ago I'd been dating nearby ladies through a "matchmaker" website. It didn't always lead to 2nd dates, but it was fun meeting new people. Then I noticed this lady who lived nearly 800 miles away. We messaged for a couple weeks, then she said she was going to a conference in New Orleans, and did I want to meet her there? That was a long plane ride. Ah, what the heck, I'd never been to New Orleans. The meeting went well. Two weeks later I flew to her place and asked her to marry me. She said yes. Been married 20 years now.
Yea this is not something I would normally do but I met him in my favorite place key west so figured why not. Made a vacation out of it but I was looking forward to having a tour guide/buddy to hang with. It’s ok I still had a fun night last night regardless and will enjoy the rest of my trip. You can’t not have fun in key west.
But yes will not be doing something like this ever again!! Lesson learned lol
Glad to hear it & thanks for replying by the way!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heron31
On the other hand, you may be missing something. 20+ years ago I'd been dating nearby ladies through a "matchmaker" website. It didn't always lead to 2nd dates, but it was fun meeting new people. Then I noticed this lady who lived nearly 800 miles away. We messaged for a couple weeks, then she said she was going to a conference in New Orleans, and did I want to meet her there? That was a long plane ride. Ah, what the heck, I'd never been to New Orleans. The meeting went well. Two weeks later I flew to her place and asked her to marry me. She said yes. Been married 20 years now.
Glad it worked out for you, but it's quite different when a man does it. Women can't just fly out or go long distances to meet some stranger. That's how they can get themselves killed & no one hears from them again. You can't trust anyone.
He is probably a player. You are blaming yourself "Was I that bad?" But you shouldn't. You are not to blame for his terrible character.
A nice person, if he just wasn't feeling it, would kindly let you know or at least spend the weekend with you as planned. Definitely not ghost you.
Don't beat yourself up and try not to take it personally. There are a ton of jerks and players out there.
But do take it as a lesson learned. There are ways to avoid being played like this and ways to screen out players.
I think you were smart to get your own hotel room, so props to you on that. If you hadn't, who knows, he might have kicked you out of his place and left you stranded. I think its good to always have money and resources to cover yourself instead of depending on a man you hardly know, who hasn't proven himself to be reliable yet.
This guy was a jerk but at least you are in your favorite place and hopefully can enjoy the rest of the weekend still.
I lived and worked in KW for three years, 1978, 79, 80. I realize that was the dark ages but it sounds like it hasn't changed much.
Key West can be a fun place especially on vacation but people who live there were/are? very much into spur of the moment feelings. I knew plenty of guys like that. Making plans wasn't a thing for them
I don't know what this idiot was thinking, seems like he'd want to see you again. But you did the exact right thing walking away from him and then going out and having fun.
About six months after I left a friend who owned a bar I worked for called me at two in the morning. We'd been involved and had parted as friends.
On the call he told me he loved me, wanted me with him, was going to buy me a plane ticket in the morning and call me with flight details later in the day. He was very romantic, couldn't wait for us to be together.
Never heard from him again of course. I had agreed to what he said on the phone bc even at the time I knew it was never going to happen.
Undependable and unreliable is partly why I only stayed in KW for three years.
Since the rock is your favorite place I guess no harm done but the guy is the one who lost out.
Yeah, I guess you're right. For dates, we'd always meet at a public place, usually a restaurant.
Right! Women always have to watch out & have their wits about them.
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