Ghosted after traveling to meet a guy (date, girls, loving)
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I lived and worked in KW for three years, 1978, 79, 80. I realize that was the dark ages but it sounds like it hasn't changed much.
Key West can be a fun place especially on vacation but people who live there were/are? very much into spur of the moment feelings. I knew plenty of guys like that. Making plans wasn't a thing for them
I don't know what this idiot was thinking, seems like he'd want to see you again. But you did the exact right thing walking away from him and then going out and having fun.
About six months after I left a friend who owned a bar I worked for called me at two in the morning. We'd been involved and had parted as friends.
On the call he told me he loved me, wanted me with him, was going to buy me a plane ticket in the morning and call me with flight details later in the day. He was very romantic, couldn't wait for us to be together.
Never heard from him again of course. I had agreed to what he said on the phone bc even at the time I knew it was never going to happen.
Undependable and unreliable is partly why I only stayed in KW for three years.
Since the rock is your favorite place I guess no harm done but the guy is the one who lost out.
Omg yes this is him to a tee. We even discussed that. He just goes with the flow and doesn’t plan. I’m just really trying to enjoy my time tonight but really down in the dumps now ugh. Just makes you feel really awful being ghosted. Especially when I flew here for him!
Omg yes this is him to a tee. We even discussed that. He just goes with the flow and doesn’t plan. I’m just really trying to enjoy my time tonight but really down in the dumps now ugh. Just makes you feel really awful being ghosted. Especially when I flew here for him!
Of course your feelings are hurt. Anyone's would be. Shame on him.
Go by the Green Parrot (first bar I went to when I got to KW) or the Pier House (used to work there, loved it) tonight. Or Sloppy's.
Based on the OP's thread history, if I were in her shoes, I'd take an honest look at what kinds of behavioral patterns may be causing guys to repeatedly cancel second dates or change their minds really quickly.
My guess is that the OP is way too overeager in these situations and something she says or does is turning these guys off quickly. I'd guess that she'll deny this and that everything seemed lovey dovey, but always remember we are only getting one side of the story on this forum.
I'm certainly not saying it was right for anyone to ghost another, but all I'm saying is that if there was true genuine attraction, no one would be ghosting or canceling dates on anyone.
He said he would message her when he got off work at 7.
Never did.
Not only that. I think HE should call her and ask her out since SHE made the trip to visit him.
It just shows that he didn't care nor was eager to see her again. See post #16.
Kinda weird that she decided to visit him on the weekend when he was scheduled to work...
I needed to vent as I feel completely awful right now. I know it’ll pass but I need to do something to change things. Clearly not doing things right.
Please stop dating for a while and rethink your goals and strategies.
Yes, it's very obvious that you need to change them. Men can feel your desperation and they don't respect you.
I really don’t know what I’m doing that conveys desperation. Can someone here go out with me and tell me lol!? I’m thinking maybe they think I’m boring ? I don’t know. It’s so strange because first date always goes amazing. Like them saying they had so much fun etc. then it goes downhill on the following dates. I don’t even say anything creepy and have regular convos so not sure what I’m doing wrong.
I really don’t know what I’m doing that conveys desperation. Can someone here go out with me and tell me lol!? I’m thinking maybe they think I’m boring ? I don’t know. It’s so strange because first date always goes amazing. Like them saying they had so much fun etc. then it goes downhill on the following dates. I don’t even say anything creepy and have regular convos so not sure what I’m doing wrong.
You meet the wrong guys. Also men are the ones that suppose to truly pursuing the woman, not the other way round so much. It can turn men off if women keep on going too strong and keep pursuing the man.
So many guys are just after one thing only. Once they get what they wanted with it, they will find the next woman. BTW if you sleep with the guy in the first date, the relationship will rarely last long. I am speaking as a guy. Avoid going to second base even on the first date.
You meet the wrong guys. Also men are the ones that suppose to truly pursuing the woman, not the other way round so much. It can turn men off if women keep on going too strong and keep pursuing the man.
So many guys are just after one thing only. Once they get what they wanted with it, they will find the next woman. BTW if you sleep with the guy in the first date, the relationship will rarely last long. I am speaking as a guy. Avoid going to second base even on the first date.
I think subconsciously a girl that puts out so soon tells a guy she is easily conquered and there’s no point in knowing more because he’s already seen her in the most intimate way. No point in putting in more effort because he already got the prize. And really nowadays a woman should know that a guy angling to get physical on the first date is probably just saying whatever he thinks she wants to hear to get that.
I think subconsciously a girl that puts out so soon tells a guy she is easily conquered and there’s no point in knowing more because he’s already seen her in the most intimate way. No point in putting in more effort because he already got the prize. And really nowadays a woman should know that a guy angling to get physical on the first date is probably just saying whatever he thinks she wants to hear to get that.
Exactly!
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