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Don't you hate it when your woman ask to see your porn collection and said "I won't get mad, I just want to see some."
Then after you show them a few and they start asking questions and then gets mad.
My woman caught me watching ATK girlfriends, she said videos on my PC with that name. So she thought I was cheating on her.
i said those are just porn video, I don't think you want to see. She said I wanna see it, I thought you had girlfriend videos of the past. I said ATK girlfriends is a porn site that features adult video.s
So after I showed her a few she started asking me dumb questions. She starts asking me why I still watch them and when I watch them. Then she said is this girl your type?
I said why you ask these questions? Don't you know that guys need sexual variety sometimes just as a fantasy?
She then said does that mean "men cheats?" And she gave me the stare and walks away. I knew from that stare I'm in the doghouse.
Don't you hate it when your woman ask to see your porn collection and said "I won't get mad, I just want to see some."
Then after you show them a few and they start asking questions and then gets mad.
My woman caught me watching ATK girlfriends, she said videos on my PC with that name. So she thought I was cheating on her.
i said those are just porn video, I don't think you want to see. She said I wanna see it, I thought you had girlfriend videos of the past. I said ATK girlfriends is a porn site that features adult video.s
So after I showed her a few she started asking me dumb questions. She starts asking me why I still watch them and when I watch them. Then she said is this girl your type?
I said why you ask these questions? Don't you know that guys need sexual variety sometimes just as a fantasy?
She then said does that mean "men cheats?" And she gave me the stare and walks away. I knew from that stare I'm in the doghouse.
She has to know that this is something guys do are you her first guy?
Don't tell her you're sorry you shouldn't be. For better or For worse this is part of male sexuality and if she can't accept that maybe she needs to join a convent.
I never understood why people have Hang-Ups with this.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-10-2022 at 11:01 AM..
Reason: Reference to post which has been deleted.
Don't you hate it when your woman ask to see your porn collection and said "I won't get mad, I just want to see some."
Then after you show them a few and they start asking questions and then gets mad.
My woman caught me watching ATK girlfriends, she said videos on my PC with that name. So she thought I was cheating on her.
i said those are just porn video, I don't think you want to see. She said I wanna see it, I thought you had girlfriend videos of the past. I said ATK girlfriends is a porn site that features adult video.s
So after I showed her a few she started asking me dumb questions. She starts asking me why I still watch them and when I watch them. Then she said is this girl your type?
I said why you ask these questions? Don't you know that guys need sexual variety sometimes just as a fantasy?
She then said does that mean "men cheats?" And she gave me the stare and walks away. I knew from that stare I'm in the doghouse.
Explain to your girlfriend that porn is nothing but visual and auditory stimulation. Men are much more visually stimulated by anatomical features than women are in sex. The personality and other nonsexual attributes of the actress are not material. It is not cheating there is no interaction, contact, no emotional connections, heck most of the time you don't know the actress' name nor location. It is like I said, just stimuli.
I've never had a collection, but when I did watch a porn video, both my wife, and my ex, when we were married, were sitting, or laying right next to me watching it with me. What's funny is my wife likes to watch the movies with me but in the 3 years I subscribed to Playboy, she didn't want to see it around. Didn't mind me having or reading it, but just put it up and not leave it laying on the bed or something like that. Never figured that one out.
I've never had a collection, but when I did watch a porn video, both my wife, and my ex, when we were married, were sitting, or laying right next to me watching it with me. What's funny is my wife likes to watch the movies with me but in the 3 years I subscribed to Playboy, she didn't want to see it around. Didn't mind me having or reading it, but just put it up and not leave it laying on the bed or something like that. Never figured that one out.
Maybe it kind of made her feel like she wasn't the only woman in the bedroom?
Explain to your girlfriend that porn is nothing but visual and auditory stimulation. Men are much more visually stimulated by anatomical features than women are in sex. The personality and other nonsexual attributes of the actress are not material. It is not cheating there is no interaction, contact, no emotional connections, heck most of the time you don't know the actress' name nor location. It is like I said, just stimuli.
This is a bundle of why I've got complicated feelings about porn, as a woman.
The man is allowed to seek to get his sexual needs met outside of our interactions, am I? What if the "stimulation" that I need is something that he feels insecure about? Why do the man's needs dictate the rules about what is or is not cheating? I feel stimulated by conversations with other people and emotional connections and I probably don't even need to have physical sex with someone, THAT is a problem because I'm having an "emotional affair" but him getting off by immersing his brain in fantasy of other women, well...that's different. And it's OK.
?
And if that "stimulation" is what a man needs, and personality and junk like that doesn't matter, then why is he bothering with a relationship with me, a whole human? How is he sexually into me, loving me the way I wish to be loved, if all he needs is endless variety of body parts? I am only one woman, and even if I'm aging gracefully, I'll never be an infinite parade of 18-20 year olds. If that is what "does it" for a man, why on earth are we bothering with *waves around vaguely at marriage*...all of this?
But really it just comes down to a whole lot of a man saying, "whatever bothers you is silly and irrational, but whatever bothers me is grounds for making RULES you must live by. My needs are important, yours should be automatically fulfilled by whatever I happen to give you, or else they don't matter at all."
Actually now that I think about it. What I just said in ^that^ little paragraph there, is how my ex operated. And is why we became very disconnected sexually. He did end up deeply immersed in porn and I didn't want to engage with his sexuality at all. Present husband cares a LOT about my needs being met, and does not act or think this way. So while he does still enjoy porn, I have far less discomfort with it.
And the way that WE define cheating? Is violating the understood terms of our negotiations of fidelity without prior discussion, especially with deceit and deception. Our "negotiations" in particular, are "genital contact with other individuals without prior discussion." So if either of us wanted to have that kind of contact with another person, we would need to talk about it, who is the person, what kind of contact/activity, what precautions about sexual health are happening... And both of us agree on which activities specifically are more or less likely to be OK, so odds are against either of us wanting to do something that the other is going to be upset about. I won't be graphic about it, but it stops way short of intercourse.
Anything else is, "do what you want. I trust you." Which is why, although we are nowhere near as poly as our poly friends, because we aren't having sex with other people, we are not quite as monogamous as many monogamous people are, either. That, too, may be part of why I am more comfortable with my husband's porn use. I don't feel that he has a pass to get his needs met, but I need to just disregard mine. We don't have one person dictating rules based on what makes THEM uncomfortable, and the other's feelings just not mattering here.
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