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It's definitely possible to meet a suitable partner at your age, you just need to be brutally self-honest to figure out the reasons why you aren't meeting anyone. It sounds like you already have your interests and hobbies, which is great, you're going to want to meet someone with some of the same interests and hobbies as you are. You don't necessarily have to go to pubs but it would be good to get yourself out there.
Dating apps can be an option, with this you'll have your age to work in your favour because generally people on the apps in your age bracket are looking for something a bit more serious.
Thanks for that yeah , l'm not that fussed probably gave the wrong impression . l more just thought we might just talk about things in a thread, or something , ldk.
Thought it could be good , or something , for me and others too maybe in the similar situations , relate , ldk, no biggie though, still sussing life and things out atm,
No, you didn't. I just went back and re-read it, and there's no clear timeline given. Your posts on other threads also sound like you've been single and lonely for quite awhile. In any case, you have some good opportunities with those hiking groups, and also I think you mentioned possibly trying out dancing. I think you've been given some good suggestions and support in following through on those options.
This reminds me of a thread we had here years ago. A guy in your age bracket posted about how phenomenal the dating options were at 50. He said he'd been able to date women, who never would have given him the time of day when he was in his 20's. He said he'd dated a former beauty queen, and all kinds of accomplished women, and had a very enjoyable time of it. He felt it was the best age for dating.
Hopefully, you'll have some fun, too. Of course it takes time to meet someone who's a good fit. That's true at any age. Patience is essential. Best wishes! Drop in to give us an update, if you do find that elusive good match.
Now you forced me to waste my time and go back and read it. Yes l did and have in others it's all there.
Anyway whatever, no interest in what your interpretations are of whatever this reminds you of but ps, you feel free to go help someone else.
Thing is , what to even do where to even start , how ?
l don't have much social life anymore first l just wanted to be alone then met my gf and our life was mostly just us and our thing we loved being homebodies haha. l also moved here nearly 7yrs ago to stay close to my d until she was older but haven't made any friends at all here either, people tend to have their own circles and l was with gf anyway.
The first thing to keep in mind is this you aren't competing against most men to get most women. Instead different types of women are looking for very different types of men. The woman you meet at Church isn't the same woman you would meet at Burning Man and both of these women likely have a very different idea of what constitutes their ideal guy/ideal relationship. You may sometimes hear some single guys complain that single women are too picky, but I don't think that is true at all. Instead if you are being honest with yourself there is probably are a lot of women who really aren't what you are looking for too. I would argue that most women have in mind a pretty specific type of guy that they are looking for, but so do you too. There is this huge range of women out there looking for very different guys and very different relationships. There are women looking to save sex for marriage and women willing to sleep with men this afternoon and some of these women are likely a lot better and a lot worse well suited to you.
So that is where giving some reflection about your past relationships comes into play. The commonalitites of your past relationships can give you some insights into where to look for future relationships. You can use the fact that different activities are going to select and repel different types of women to help you look your type of gal. So give some thought to the types of activities that women you dated in the past enjoyed and would have beening willing to participate in and might have been engaging in to look for a man like you. I would also think about the female friends you have now or in the past and again think about the activities they liked doing and where they were looking to meet guys if and when when they were single. Also your past relationships will also give you some insight about what types of women you can realistically date and who date guys like you. Again I can't specifically tell you where to find those activities, but your past relationships will give you some insights on where to look.
The other thing I would think about is this, you are probably spending 8 hours a day at work, 8 hours a day sleeping. I would encourage you to think about the things you do each day and ask yourself if there is a way of doing them in a more social fashion? So instead of going to the gym, try crossfit or take a yoga class or maybe you sign up for some sort of sort of class where you learn how to dance or ride horses, play golf, play tennis or join a coed softball league. But the thing you want to give some consideration to is how many hours a week are you participating in activities where you can realistically meet some new people?
If you don't exercise now and realistically that really isn't your bag are there some activities that you could do, that you might do, that might have a pretty good gender ratio and ideally again you could see women in your past might have enjoyed too? For myself I am thinking maybe something like a community choir or maybe getting involved in community theater, even if you have no interest in being on stage, there is technical theater where you help do the lights and help build sets and help do things behind the stage, but that was always a pretty good crowd for just kind of meeting people.
Now one other thing that I might do, but I probably wouldn't make primary area of my focus is online dating. The advantage of online dating is that it is a thick pool of single women, the negative of online dating is that if you are doing it exclusively or if it is the primary area of your emphasis, it can also really screw with your head.
It is much easier to figure out the rythym of dating offline. Women don't ghost you as much offline and it is easier to kee seeing women offline as humans and not merely as automous dating robots. . If you are doing well dating offline, online dating works a lot better for men. But if you are just doing online dating exclusively I think it can screw with your head too.
The first problem with online dating is that it has poor tools for screening people. Most women really do care about your intelligence, your character, your sense of humor, your level of conscientiousness - women really aren't shallow. But online women don't have a an effective way of screening for guys on those traits so instead they are filtering men based upon the tools available to them. Women are screening guys based upon traits like height and appearance because that is those are the traits that are easy for online dating platforms to measure and sort guys by, not because those are really the traits that are most important to women.
The second problem with online dating for men is the gender ratio, there is like two or three men in your age bracket for every woman online. If online dating was actually a better experience for women, more women would bother doing it. Men by and large don't really care about height, so for a lot of women online they rightfully think the big reason you are writing to them is mostly their appearance and sex. Most women just aren't big fans of being objectified. For women online, yes they are getting a lot of replies, but they have a problem seperating the wheat from the chaff. It can really feel like guys are writing to them just to have sex with them and honestly they really don't have real effective tools for figuring out who they should and shouldn't be writing back to.
Women do read profiles at least for the guys they are actually thinking about writing back to. If you are a guy who can write well, you can actually do very well online. The problem for women with men's dating profiles is they all tend to blend into one. A lot don't stand out and the more you try to appeal to everyone, the less well you actually will appeal to the type of women you tend to have had success with in the past. So you don't want to fall into generic platitudes like I am looking for someone with a great sense of humor. Our sense of humor is idiosyncratic. There are people who think Mr Bean, Monthy Python and Ricky Garvis are brilliant and others who think they are awful. For a long term relationship, I think it is pretty important to find someone who will laugh at your jokes and get your sense of humor. The more effective you are at conveying yourself in your profile, the more success you will have online. Your sense of humor can also show up in your pictures. Think about the Christmas cards you liked and you didn't, the people who can write the most entertaining christmas cards would also do really well online. Don't get too literal with prompts of the dating platform on your profile, you can rift off stuff and mock things in a way that would appeal to your targeted audience. Try to have fun with it.
There is also some space for some emotional honesty in your profile. One of the other big problems that women have is that men will often try to adopt a dating persona trying to be some more suave version of themselves. Women have a pretty good sense of when they are being sold a bill of goods. The more you adopt a fake dating persona, the more they think you are trying to pull something over them. But if women think you are trying to be sincere, women are going to try work with you. Women are not your enemy, they are dealing with a lot of the same problems you are dealing with, they may be lonely and they aren't sure who they can trust.
The first thing to keep in mind is this you aren't competing against most men to get most women. Instead different types of women are looking for very different types of men. The woman you meet at Church isn't the same woman you would meet at Burning Man and both of these women likely have a very different idea of what constitutes their ideal guy/ideal relationship. You may sometimes hear some single guys complain that single women are too picky, but I don't think that is true at all. Instead if you are being honest with yourself there is probably are a lot of women who really aren't what you are looking for too. I would argue that most women have in mind a pretty specific type of guy that they are looking for, but so do you too. There is this huge range of women out there looking for very different guys and very different relationships. There are women looking to save sex for marriage and women willing to sleep with men this afternoon and some of these women are likely a lot better and a lot worse well suited to you.
So that is where giving some reflection about your past relationships comes into play. The commonalitites of your past relationships can give you some insights into where to look for future relationships. You can use the fact that different activities are going to select and repel different types of women to help you look your type of gal. So give some thought to the types of activities that women you dated in the past enjoyed and would have beening willing to participate in and might have been engaging in to look for a man like you. I would also think about the female friends you have now or in the past and again think about the activities they liked doing and where they were looking to meet guys if and when when they were single. Also your past relationships will also give you some insight about what types of women you can realistically date and who date guys like you. Again I can't specifically tell you where to find those activities, but your past relationships will give you some insights on where to look.
The other thing I would think about is this, you are probably spending 8 hours a day at work, 8 hours a day sleeping. I would encourage you to think about the things you do each day and ask yourself if there is a way of doing them in a more social fashion? So instead of going to the gym, try crossfit or take a yoga class or maybe you sign up for some sort of sort of class where you learn how to dance or ride horses, play golf, play tennis or join a coed softball league. But the thing you want to give some consideration to is how many hours a week are you participating in activities where you can realistically meet some new people?
If you don't exercise now and realistically that really isn't your bag are there some activities that you could do, that you might do, that might have a pretty good gender ratio and ideally again you could see women in your past might have enjoyed too? For myself I am thinking maybe something like a community choir or maybe getting involved in community theater, even if you have no interest in being on stage, there is technical theater where you help do the lights and help build sets and help do things behind the stage, but that was always a pretty good crowd for just kind of meeting people.
Now one other thing that I might do, but I probably wouldn't make primary area of my focus is online dating. The advantage of online dating is that it is a thick pool of single women, the negative of online dating is that if you are doing it exclusively or if it is the primary area of your emphasis, it can also really screw with your head.
It is much easier to figure out the rythym of dating offline. Women don't ghost you as much offline and it is easier to kee seeing women offline as humans and not merely as automous dating robots. . If you are doing well dating offline, online dating works a lot better for men. But if you are just doing online dating exclusively I think it can screw with your head too.
The first problem with online dating is that it has poor tools for screening people. Most women really do care about your intelligence, your character, your sense of humor, your level of conscientiousness - women really aren't shallow. But online women don't have a an effective way of screening for guys on those traits so instead they are filtering men based upon the tools available to them. Women are screening guys based upon traits like height and appearance because that is those are the traits that are easy for online dating platforms to measure and sort guys by, not because those are really the traits that are most important to women.
The second problem with online dating for men is the gender ratio, there is like two or three men in your age bracket for every woman online. If online dating was actually a better experience for women, more women would bother doing it. Men by and large don't really care about height, so for a lot of women online they rightfully think the big reason you are writing to them is mostly their appearance and sex. Most women just aren't big fans of being objectified. For women online, yes they are getting a lot of replies, but they have a problem seperating the wheat from the chaff. It can really feel like guys are writing to them just to have sex with them and honestly they really don't have real effective tools for figuring out who they should and shouldn't be writing back to.
Women do read profiles at least for the guys they are actually thinking about writing back to. If you are a guy who can write well, you can actually do very well online. The problem for women with men's dating profiles is they all tend to blend into one. A lot don't stand out and the more you try to appeal to everyone, the less well you actually will appeal to the type of women you tend to have had success with in the past. So you don't want to fall into generic platitudes like I am looking for someone with a great sense of humor. Our sense of humor is idiosyncratic. There are people who think Mr Bean, Monthy Python and Ricky Garvis are brilliant and others who think they are awful. For a long term relationship, I think it is pretty important to find someone who will laugh at your jokes and get your sense of humor. The more effective you are at conveying yourself in your profile, the more success you will have online. Your sense of humor can also show up in your pictures. Think about the Christmas cards you liked and you didn't, the people who can write the most entertaining christmas cards would also do really well online. Don't get too literal with prompts of the dating platform on your profile, you can rift off stuff and mock things in a way that would appeal to your targeted audience. Try to have fun with it.
There is also some space for some emotional honesty in your profile. One of the other big problems that women have is that men will often try to adopt a dating persona trying to be some more suave version of themselves. Women have a pretty good sense of when they are being sold a bill of goods. The more you adopt a fake dating persona, the more they think you are trying to pull something over them. But if women think you are trying to be sincere, women are going to try work with you. Women are not your enemy, they are dealing with a lot of the same problems you are dealing with, they may be lonely and they aren't sure who they can trust.
This should give you some stuff to think about.
Thanks for all that man , that was very good of you going to such trouble, you must enjoy writing , yeah ?
But nah, no drama in the slightest on the first bit , l don't look at other men or women for that matter, as some competition at all, never have.
Not only but most men wouldn't even be interested in the sort of woman l go for anyway and she wouldn't be interested in most of them either just as l'm not interested in most women, if there is even a most.
You'd say l don't fit the norm by a long shot and neither will she nor ever has in the past either.
And yeah, there's been commonalities in both my marriage and partner l've unfortunately just recently separated from . Many of them l've always been well aware of regards all kinds if things and pasts too.
l'll just add too though bc it seems to be getting lost all the time but it is all in the first post, l haven't even been single very long anyway and before this partner , l was married and together 26yrs all up and so l'm far from desperate or in any panic.
The thread's only just casually about thoughts and the future really, not panic.
And yeah, as l've also explained too l do get out and about quite a bit actually, all the time, and through the thread we've also talked about things l'd might also like to get into.
The online stuff , have had just a casual browse so far but nah man, l wouldn't even bother with some site of 70 30 men ratio to hell with that. 50 50 or forget it in my book and you can find out the ratios before you even bother.
But isn't it weird how then that even if what your saying if it is a common ratio, most women have still somehow been on 3 or 4 sites at once, 3 or 4, and often for yrs and yrs on end, but yet still haven't done any good- which is what most of them say in forums too but l've also heard that a lot in RL from women- just goes to show the illusion that is date sites then, right.
One of my sisters actually and she's not only quite a special person and would make a brilliant partner, she's also quite nice looking to for her age. 12 yrs , yep 12, she's been on date sites. She was just saying a few wks back she's closing them all and giving up.
She also has a lot of friends too she's very sociable very active yet still , all that and dates sites, 12 yrs,nothing, well bs, that amounted to nothing.
This is what l say, they're an allusion .
Not to say some don't meet worthwhile or marriage on date sites they say, "say" that actually it's about 50 50 now these days, date sites - real world ,,dk if that's true butttt , that;s what they say.
Thanks for all that man , that was very good of you going to such trouble, you must enjoy writing , yeah ?
But nah, no drama in the slightest on the first bit , l don't look at other men or women for that matter, as some competition at all, never have.
Not only but most men wouldn't even be interested in the sort of woman l go for anyway and she wouldn't be interested in most of them either just as l'm not interested in most women, if there is even a most.
You'd say l don't fit the norm by a long shot and neither will she nor ever has in the past either.
And yeah, there's been commonalities in both my marriage and partner l've unfortunately just recently separated from . Many of them l've always been well aware of regards all kinds if things and pasts too.
l'll just add too though bc it seems to be getting lost all the time but it is all in the first post, l haven't even been single very long anyway and before this partner , l was married and together 26yrs all up and so l'm far from desperate or in any panic.
The thread's only just casually about thoughts and the future really, not panic.
And yeah, as l've also explained too l do get out and about quite a bit actually, all the time, and through the thread we've also talked about things l'd might also like to get into.
The online stuff , have had just a casual browse so far but nah man, l wouldn't even bother with some site of 70 30 men ratio to hell with that. 50 50 or forget it in my book and you can find out the ratios before you even bother.
But isn't it weird how then that even if what your saying if it is a common ratio, most women have still somehow been on 3 or 4 sites at once, 3 or 4, and often for yrs and yrs on end, but yet still haven't done any good- which is what most of them say in forums too but l've also heard that a lot in RL from women- just goes to show the illusion that is date sites then, right.
One of my sisters actually and she's not only quite a special person and would make a brilliant partner, she's also quite nice looking to for her age. 12 yrs , yep 12, she's been on date sites. She was just saying a few wks back she's closing them all and giving up.
She also has a lot of friends too she's very sociable very active yet still , all that and dates sites, 12 yrs,nothing, well bs, that amounted to nothing.
This is what l say, they're an allusion .
Not to say some don't meet worthwhile or marriage on date sites they say, "say" that actually it's about 50 50 now these days, date sites - real world ,,dk if that's true butttt , that;s what they say.
But yeah , thanks for that.
Good luck to you. I am glad to hear that things are going well for you.
Thanks for that. But yeah as l was just saying last post, l've only just recently separated form my partner but l am thinking about a future awhile now even before bc we've been having problems, writing was on the wall awhile now.
Our area though yeah your spot on , many passing through and out and about if l just wanted to have fun l'd be made.
But also a lot of people locally throughout too and some very nice, l haven't been single though. Thinking about it all now though as l say.
Social situations is something l've been thinking about though, not so much in just everyday passing or dealings you don't really get the chance to meet anyone really like that though- although yeah hiking where l go you could bump into anyone.
l'll def' look at some hike clubs and see if there's any meetups and any social situations l might be into , about too.
meetup is for social/platonic interactions and not passing through as much as other parts of your life. It might still end up likely, but there's more of a chance to develop interest naturally in such a context. Hiking was just an example I came up with because that is in many places. There may be other interests niche or not that may be in your area that you are into that are also on that website.
If you tried out a group and it isn't working out for you, you can always look for another group or interest at least.
Crackin me up
Rent a gf , wt ? no thanks. l do know a few guys not interested in relationships or marriage anymore but they just get out to pubs now and then usually end up bringing someone home , not my thing though.
Hi Chess, reason l mention hiking is bc l do it anyway and really enjoy it but also, where l go there's usually a lot of women wondering about too. Mind you l hadn't been single until just recently though soooo, might start getting back into some of that again it's been awhile.
My brother was in a hiking club though actually and he said it was great for women sooo, might even see what clubs are about.
Had a nice encounter the other day , well , sort of, l couldn't decide haha.
l was waiting at a shop and someone in front of me was very nice indeed.
l could see she was aware she might've seen me earlier before the line or something but anyway she kind of hung about a bit after she got her stuff.
l felt a bit guilty bc l didn't end up talking to her pretty sure she was thinking l might, l just couldn't make up my damn mind on whether she was my type or not, crazy l know.
Don't you wish sometimes you could just freeze life right there on the spot for a few minutes while you think about things ha ha.
Later when l left she was outside and just turned stood still and looked at me, not sure what that means haha, maybe well are you gonna #### talk to me or not,,but l still couldn't decide - what the !
Tbh , she was sort of my type but sort of not.
So l smiled and left.
l can just imagine the replies this one will be getting but anyway.
Had a nice encounter the other day , well , sort of, l couldn't decide haha.
l was waiting at a shop and someone in front of me was very nice indeed.
l could see she was aware she might've seen me earlier before the line or something but anyway she kind of hung about a bit after she got her stuff.
l felt a bit guilty bc l didn't end up talking to her pretty sure she was thinking l might, l just couldn't make up my damn mind on whether she was my type or not, crazy l know.
Don't you wish sometimes you could just freeze life right there on the spot for a few minutes while you think about things ha ha.
Later when l left she was outside and just turned stood still and looked at me, not sure what that means haha, maybe well are you gonna #### talk to me or not,,but l still couldn't decide - what the !
Tbh , she was sort of my type but sort of not.
So l smiled and left.
l can just imagine the replies this one will be getting but anyway.
I’m curious how you can know if someone is or isn’t your type if you haven’t even spoken with them.
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