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Sorry about yet another singles thread but it looks like it's about me this time and being probably older than most of the others l dunno, it's different.
l was married a long time, then single late 40s. For awhile there 4yrs or so no interest in ever being involved again or remarrying.
Then l accidentally met someone and we had everything either of us could ever hope but she did have some problems too. Pretty big ones that went on and on and unfortunately eventuality took their toll and things haven't worked out.
God almighty l did not want to spend all this time at this stage on anything new only to end up here. l was very cautious about even starting anything and walked away from others then found this butttt ! .
lt's reminded me though that l was wrong earlier and l am basically still a relationship person and haven't been single since early 20s, then married and with her 22yrs then this last but nowwww- this.
ldk , l've heard lots of stories know a few myself too of people even 70s one or 2 even 80's finding new love and quite a few 60s too all always so nice to hear and so l at least have a bit of leeway even with the 60s.
Thing is , what to even do where to even start , how ?
l don't have much social life anymore first l just wanted to be alone then met my gf and our life was mostly just us and our thing we loved being homebodies haha. l also moved here nearly 7yrs ago to stay close to my d until she was older but haven't made any friends at all here either, people tend to have their own circles and l was with gf anyway.
l don't wanna fake life though you know. Force myself out doing things again l wouldn't normally do much of anymore just to maybe meet somebody. But l really would like to meet someone, even remarry, l do prefer coupled life .
l get interest when l am out anywhere but l haven't been single ha, prob won't get any now that l am right. But l know too well to how it goes and that right person right time is a whole nother story anyway too now that l am single.
Tbh , ldk wth to even start , or whether l even should. Maybe just doing me living life as l please it just happens on it's own somehow anyway ldk.
They say you've gotta put yourself out there ldk. l guess. My place is pretty private you can easily exist here and have no contact with anyone wks on end if you want. Although l do get out and and about most days , shops or parts for work or just feel like getting out. l work at home. Went fishing the other night , d and l went up to the mountains last wkend, l go have lunch with the whales, nice crowd there too btw and lots of women.
So there are these types of things l do still do , kayak as well. Don't feel much like pubs anymore especially on my own and the good ones are a drive from here anyway. Too awkward coming home later after a few drinks.
Date sites , l did have just a bit of a browse checking them out but ldk that all felt very weird though too at this stage.
At any rate , any thoughts or suggestions muchly appreciated. l'm at a bit of a loss tbh, certainly did not plan on being in this predicament but l would like to meet someone and by the time if and when that did happen l'd be good to soooo, not getting any younger l suppose right.
Ha, l must be in the too hard basket , should've added a bit of controversy right , hate women or something.
Anyway , have been thinking about all this and realized one funny thing , no partner ever came through friends. Yeah back in single days moons ago l did meet people sure , but not once anything worthwhile.
That's odd really isn't it , you'd think that'd be THE way most meet the best and l know it does happen for some.
But in my case , so much for a social circle then.
It's much harder to get out, but you don't have to go to pubs to get out.
www.meetup.com is a good way to try to find groups of people where you can build friendships just from meeting people with at least one similar interest to yourself. Maybe something can develop over time from those groups. Since you live in such a remote area, you might need to be open to traveling further out to do some non-pub related activities.
Make sure you are trying to be as open to others' differences as much as possible. The more factors that bug you, the less likely it is you will be able to mesh with someone else.
The fact that you are within the heterosexual pool rather than the non-heterosexual pool is already a plus for you in that you have many more options even in a rural area potentially compared to other groups.
It's much harder to get out, but you don't have to go to pubs to get out.
www.meetup.com is a good way to try to find groups of people where you can build friendships just from meeting people with at least one similar interest to yourself. Maybe something can develop over time from those groups. Since you live in such a remote area, you might need to be open to traveling further out to do some non-pub related activities.
Make sure you are trying to be as open to others' differences as much as possible. The more factors that bug you, the less likely it is you will be able to mesh with someone else.
The fact that you are within the heterosexual pool rather than the non-heterosexual pool is already a plus for you in that you have many more options even in a rural area potentially compared to other groups.
Thanks for those thoughts. l wouldn't really call it rural in the true meaning, we are coastal and very high tourist. A lot of towns all around too, with a lot of people and plenty of beaches.There are plenty of pubs locally too actually but l really prefer our main town night wise socially and beach wise day time too actually, great beach, great women. lt is only 25 mins but Hwy though and l hate driving home late night hwy even if l haven't drank. Must admit l only get to a pub now and then these days anyway.
l do get out and about quite a bit though , daily actually but often across state for work too and l usually try to enjoy those too with any nice places on the way.
One thing about it here is l haven't seen or heard of any meetup things but yeah , be a nice idea really wouldn't mind some of that. l'll dig about more. We do have a lot of hike groups which l love doing bc there's mountains not far over- also lots of coastal walks.
Thanks for those thoughts. l wouldn't really call it rural in the true meaning, we are coastal and very high tourist. A lot of smaller towns all around too, with a lot of people and plenty of beaches. Granted it isn't city though, l grew up in a city of 6million. There's plenty of pubs locally but l really like our main town nighttime wise socially and beach wise day time too actually, great beach. lt is only 25 mins but Hwy though l hate driving home late night hwy even if l haven't drank. Must admit l only get to a pub now and then these days anyway.
l do get out and about quite a bit though , daily actually but often to across state for work and l usually try to enjoy those too with any nice places on the way.
One thing about it here is l haven't seen or heard or any meetup things but yeah , be a nice idea really wouldn't mind some of that. l'll dig about more.
I don't know much about meetup but if there isn't anything in your area, could you start one?
I have a single guy friend roughly the same age. He literally goes out with ladies 4 nights a week. I think he uses 'Tinder'. He is doing it strictly for sex. He shows me pictures of the ladies, and many are rather normal looking, and I imagine if a man was interested in forming a relationship, some of them would be interested. The age range of the ladies he shows me are 45-55 years old. He is a 'pump and dump' type guy and a lot of the ladies seem to be interested in just that as well.
If it were me, wouldn't bother with that. There is a good selection of interested ladies abroad. Even in your age bracket you can meet a lady that is quite a bit younger or in your age group. Eastern Europe, South/Central America, Asia, all at your fingertips. It would come with risk, but if a man selects relatively carefully, he can do well.
My thought is live boldly, you are a prized person since many in your age group are not interested, available, or suitable to meet ladies at all. If you are living a relatively clean life and have enough get up and go to want to meet ladies, you should move forward intrepidly while you still have a little pizzazz left!
Nothing wrong with being in your fifties. Plenty of women complain they can’t find a decent single guy your age.
You just have to put yourself in places where women can see you and talk to you. Why not work the occasional night at the pub or hardware store? I’m in a tourist town right now and it seems there are help wanted signs in several shops. Though you don’t need a second job, you certainly need a venue. All you have to do is bus tables and smile.
Last edited by ellie; 10-21-2022 at 10:08 AM..
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