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Why not? Good sounding board for talking out decisions. To make sure I didn't miss something and I didn't. He must have figured the marriage was over when he chose to be with her so it's over.
This has really helped me to see where my issue lies. The mistake was ever trying again after he chose her. He'd checked out at that point and there's no checking back in. The sad part is we might have ended up one of those couples who gets back together later. We probably could have burried our marriage and formed a new relationship. What we could not do was ressurect one that was DOA the moment he chose her. Whether you believe my filing ended or him chosing her ended it is irrelevent. It was ended to the point he was picking a new partner and that's pretty ended.
Wrong, you came on here only to get "reconfirmed" that your views are the only right ones and no one else's. NO ONE CAN'T POSSIBLE BE ANYMORE RIGHT THAN YOU, RIGHT?
Yeah, I think I can see why your hubby took off...
Why not? Good sounding board for talking out decisions. To make sure I didn't miss something and I didn't. He must have figured the marriage was over when he chose to be with her so it's over.
I can't say I agree with you on that. Many things have been pointed out that you may or have missed and you disregard them all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
This has really helped me to see where my issue lies. The mistake was ever trying again after he chose her. He'd checked out at that point and there's no checking back in. The sad part is we might have ended up one of those couples who gets back together later. We probably could have burried our marriage and formed a new relationship.What we could not do was ressurect one that was DOA the moment he chose her. Whether you believe my filing ended or him chosing her ended it is irrelevent. It was ended to the point he was picking a new partner and that's pretty ended.
NO!!! The sad part is that you feel that only getting a divorce would accomplish or could accomplish that same outcome. Talk about wanting to waste money and throw it out the window. So in your logic, this woman then miraculously disappears and becomes a non-issue ONLY if you got divorced and then possibly re-married and had a new marriage with the same person with the same past....... HMMMMMM okay.
If the broken vows is the issue, why not seek a renewal of vows rather than divorce and possibly new vows. Kind of makes sense to me. Then all the money you would be spending on the attorney and the divorce could be used on a celebration and another honeymoon.
Just because a person has a PhD does NOT mean that he can help you w/ your issues. Just like MARI said, your counselor most likely released you because you're too stubborn to be helped, but did NOT wish to say that right out because well... perhaps the counselor wanted to "spare your feelings"...
And who said that paying more than $100 an hour would constitute letting go of patients when they're ready? A counselor can do whatever he/ she wants w/o having to tell you what their real intentions are...
But, on the other hand, you are beneficial to lawyers and psychiatrists, because you think that:
paying more $$$ for any "professional" help = sound advice.
LOL! RIGHT!
Exactly, and that appointment slot could be filled with someone else paying the same amount of money but actually benefitting from the sessions. Counselors do not like to waste their time.
You really like to twist what I say. If I thought that him staying drinking and out of the lives of his children was what was best, that's where he'd be. I could have crushed him, emotionally, at the point he sought reconciliation and he probably would not have recovered from it. He probably would have crawled into a bottle and stayed there. I did what I did (aka attempted reconciliation) to avoid that. It just didn't work.
Why don't you READ my post about custody. I was talking about joint physical. Something your kids don't have to live. You're so determined to say something negative about me you don't even read what I say.
You can try to paint me as the evil ex if you want but the court appointed psychiatrist agreed the issues were serious enough for full custody to go to me. An ex is free to claim anything she wants but I proved my claims to the court. The concerns were very real. Even my husband realizes that. When he heard our daughter's official diagnosis it pretty much took him to his knees. He had spent years blaming me for her problems only to learn he caused them. You don't have a clue. There were a total of four psychiatrists involved in declaring him an alcoholic and diagnosing our daughther. I must be good. I fooled them all.
No I read what you say, it just doesn't make sense and is full of contradicctions, bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. It's all about you.
My kids situation is plain and simple. Joint custody w/ me being primary residential parent. That is the standard in MOST divorce cases. I live 3.5 hours away from their dad so most times its every other weekend visits. However, if I lived still in the same city, it would be as frequent as the kids wanted and he was able. THAT is what would be best for my kids. Regardless of what I feel or don't feel for him.
Not saying you fooled anyone. I don't doubt there were issues. The point is you are hell bent in living in the past instead of moving forward into the future. Parents make mistakes and affect our children at times in ways that we don't see or understand. It happens at times. BUT what is he doing NOW and is that better for the children. IF it is, then get out of the past and move forward. That is the best gift you can give your kids.
No I read what you say, it just doesn't make sense and is full of contradicctions, bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. It's all about you.
My kids situation is plain and simple. Joint custody w/ me being primary residential parent. That is the standard in MOST divorce cases. I live 3.5 hours away from their dad so most times its every other weekend visits. However, if I lived still in the same city, it would be as frequent as the kids wanted and he was able. THAT is what would be best for my kids. Regardless of what I feel or don't feel for him.
Not saying you fooled anyone. I don't doubt there were issues. The point is you are hell bent in living in the past instead of moving forward into the future. Parents make mistakes and affect our children at times in ways that we don't see or understand. It happens at times. BUT what is he doing NOW and is that better for the children. IF it is, then get out of the past and move forward. That is the best gift you can give your kids.
That's right. Your kids live with you. Mine will be bounced between homes as is typical here. 50% of the time at dad's house and 50% of the time at moms. Just like my nieces and nephews are. That's a little different than what is going on with your kids doncha think?
Well, at least we have that settled. You don't think I lied when I said there were real issues that would have cost him custody.
Exactly, and that appointment slot could be filled with someone else paying the same amount of money but actually benefitting from the sessions. Counselors do not like to waste their time.
By golly, the doctor is in. And you're good. You can practice over the internet.
Wrong, you came on here only to get "reconfirmed" that your views are the only right ones and no one else's. NO ONE CAN'T POSSIBLE BE ANYMORE RIGHT THAN YOU, RIGHT?
Yeah, I think I can see why your hubby took off...
Well, I'm glad you agree he'll be better off now. At least that's settled. It looks like we have a win-win situation here
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