What's your take on open marriages? (long-term, friend, attraction, sleeping)
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Here's an interesting analogy about things "forbidden". I hope I can convey the meaning here, so bear with me.
Humans crave what they can't (or shouldn't) have. This is something you find in all ages of humankind, in all economic classes, and in every race and religion. It's part of being human.
If you are not allowed to have something and it's something you feel you need, you will try that much harder to get it.
Take a child who wants a piece of candy at the store. As with any child, they will generally take the first step of asking for it. They risk being told "no" and being told that it isn't an option. He can then do one of many things if he is told "no"...
1. He can negotiate and communicate why he has the desire to change the original response.
2. He can find ways to obtain it on his own by legitimate means.
3. He can steal it and keep that act a secret.
In option #1, he is using communication and expressing his needs. As a result, a mutual understanding between two parties is reached regardless of the actual outcome. If he hears why it is not an option, he may decide that it is no longer something he wants. If he still wants it and can't have it, he would at least understand the reasons why.
In option #2, he is finding ways to do it on his own with his own resources. He eliminates involvement by others and takes the responsibility for himself. He is willing to face any consequences even if they are bad. He realizes that he has to give something up in order to get what he wants.
In option #3, he is getting it at all costs, no matter the consequences. He then has to deal with not being trustworthy, facing guilt, and causing harm to both himself and others. His integrity is no longer intact.
In relationships, which would you choose if you wanted to have a piece of candy?
I also think that way about things! I would much rather my DH tell me before the fact if he was interested in someone else. I'm very much of the mind set that there is not one other person in the world who could do for either myself or my DH what we do for each other. I guess for me I have just never thought about it one way or another. I'm not sure what I would think were my husband to approach me with the idea, meaning I don't know if I would be dead set against it or if I would consider it.
I've been close to people from many different backgrounds and with many different beliefs, but I have never actually had the chance to sit down and talk to a woman who has an open marriage. This has been an educational thread for me! Believe me when I say that allthough I do not think that an open relationship would work for myself or my DH, I don't condemn the relationships that other people choose to have with each other! I think it is MUCH more honorable and understandable than people sneaking around on each other.
You have the same trust for each other that my DH and I have, there are just different methods to our madness!
If you think about it, it's human nature and instinct to have sexual desires, even for other people.
Just like a child would naturally desire candy, it's natural for humans to desire something pleasurable. How we get that pleasure met is what makes us complex creatures.
Propagation of the species is within ALL of us, regardless of our gender. Men tend to desire more than one woman because that is how we are MADE. Women who have made a choice to not bear more children STILL get a desire once in a while to have just "one" more because our biological clock tells us this. There are certain times of our cycle that we are more inclined to "propagate" that coincide with our most fertile days of the month. Our instincts are overriding logical thinking.
Fighting our natural desires and making it forbidden is unhealthy. I would rather understand those desires, know they exist, and decide for myself how it plays into my marriage. I wouldn't fault my DH for having a desire and expressing it. I WOULD fault him for denying himself a natural desire and keeping it a forbidden secret regardless if he acted on it or not.
The only pic you will find is of Jenny, who uses her maiden name. She refers to her husband as "Christopher", but that's not his real name.
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Thanks!
This has been an educational thread for me! Believe me when I say that allthough I do not think that an open relationship would work for myself or my DH, I don't condemn the relationships that other people choose to have with each other! 
