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the promise with a plain girl is that she is good inside. that often turns out to be false.
looks and character are coincidental. and i agree with prior posts ----this is genderless.
You only believe so because you've never been in a hell like this. I thought so, too, when I married a widower with a teen daughter. Mind you, there wasn't even an ex in the picture. You might wanna read a bit on stepfamilies. There are some books on the market - not many, but enough.
Are you still married to him? You don't have to answer. You are right. I would prefer to date a childfree man. Save myself the trouble right? At my age, there are not that many. I know men feel the same way about us. That we all have children. We don't. You live in AZ? In 1969, CA had passed the "No Fault" Divorce law. Irreconcilable differences. The divorce rate in CA skyrocketed out of orbit. It became easier and faster to get divorced. Blended families became more common in the 70's on into the 21st century. Many yours, mine and ours types of families. Once at my job, I was the only employee with parents who were still married (50 years-2006). All of my coworkers had step parents or single parents. I had seen books out on step parenting and blended families and read some articles. My father came from a broken home. The state of Ohio was going to take him and his brothers away if my grandfather didn't remarry quickly. That was my father's downfall which changed his life for the worse. There were no books on that available then and remarriages were not as common.
Last edited by Texasturkey; 10-04-2008 at 11:02 PM..
I don't get this assumption... Could you elaborate?
I know I am not the one you asked. But, I will try to clarify what I think the poster meant. Many people feel that if a person is plain or average looking they must be a nice and good person. If you are above average in the looks department, like pretty, beautiful, handsome, knock-out or a hottie, you must be an insincere, vain, arrogant snob or SOB. Life is at the end of your tail. It is easy living. People kiss you a$$ wherever you go. You have friends and dates to no end. The is more to a person than the book cover. What do you know about that person who looks so fine? Maybe their parents died and they are taking care of 5 other siblings. Maybe they have an invisible disability and they struggle daily. Even the best looking people have adversity in their lives. I had friends that people prejudged because of their good looks. Often, people looked for other reasons not to like them. Called them "Dumb" or "Conceited". In contrast, a plain person would not receive that type of treatment. I know nice beautiful people and rotten plain people. I also know beautiful rotten people and nice plain people. It can go either way.
I know I am not the one you asked. But, I will try to clarify what I think the poster meant. Many people feel that if a person is plain or average looking they must be a nice and good person. If you are above average in the looks department, like pretty, beautiful, handsome, knock-out or a hottie, you must be an insincere, vain, arrogant snob or SOB. Life is at the end of your tail. It is easy living. People kiss you a$$ wherever you go. You have friends and dates to no end. The is more to a person than the book cover. What do you know about that person who looks so fine? Maybe their parents died and they are taking care of 5 other siblings. Maybe they have an invisible disability and they struggle daily. Even the best looking people have adversity in their lives. I had friends that people prejudged because of their good looks. Often, people looked for other reasons not to like them. Called them "Dumb" or "Conceited". In contrast, a plain person would not receive that type of treatment. I know nice beautiful people and rotten plain people. I also know beautiful rotten people and nice plain people. It can go either way.
Hell, no. However, if it weren't for this gigantic problem, this marriage was easier than the one after it when I went all out looking for looove and passion... I just mentioned a book on Stuck's "hot chick" thread. The author was saying just that and I'm convinced of it - when the person you're with is not perceived by you as a "soulmate," the relationship may be less passionate but a lot calmer.
My other experiment was a "learning experience," but we didn't stay together long enough to learn anything. It was just totally amazing... You'd think we had everything - attraction, being generally decent people (but damaged evidently), having good jobs, financially alright, no kids and families to interfere... and yet... no go! Of course, I've been exploring the subject after the milk was spilled. Before I figured like most you just wave a magic wand and everything falls into place. So did he... Yeah, we certainly shared this magical thinking. No people in their right minds get engaged on the 3rd weekend together... The difference is at least I'm taking my sweet time and still not doing anything stupid while he started living with somebody shortly after our divorce.
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You live in AZ? In 1969, CA had passed the "No Fault" Divorce law. Irreconcilable differences. The divorce rate in CA skyrocketed out of orbit.
Same here. Not a fan... I think a lot of marriages could be saved if the way out weren't so damn easy and fast. People need time to detach somewhat, think and reevaluate. Many might come to the conclusion the grass is not necessarily greener - alone or with somebody else.
I know I am not the one you asked. But, I will try to clarify what I think the poster meant. Many people feel that if a person is plain or average looking they must be a nice and good person. If you are above average in the looks department, like pretty, beautiful, handsome, knock-out or a hottie, you must be an insincere, vain, arrogant snob or SOB. Life is at the end of your tail. It is easy living. People kiss you a$$ wherever you go. You have friends and dates to no end. The is more to a person than the book cover. What do you know about that person who looks so fine? Maybe their parents died and they are taking care of 5 other siblings. Maybe they have an invisible disability and they struggle daily. Even the best looking people have adversity in their lives. I had friends that people prejudged because of their good looks. Often, people looked for other reasons not to like them. Called them "Dumb" or "Conceited". In contrast, a plain person would not receive that type of treatment. I know nice beautiful people and rotten plain people. I also know beautiful rotten people and nice plain people. It can go either way.
Exactly! That's why I disagree with these assumptions. My opinion of the "hot chicks" is not really based on their looks - it's the personality behind I can't stand, the empty eyes, the loudness, the whole bimbo look. A woman with something under her scalp just never looks like "hot chick," IMO, unless the guys' definition of it is different than what I picture in my mind. It may very well be true knowing we never can agree on the definition of "bad boys." People have various mental pictures.
Exactly! That's why I disagree with these assumptions. My opinion of the "hot chicks" is not really based on their looks - it's the personality behind I can't stand, the empty eyes, the loudness, the whole bimbo look. A woman with something under her scalp just never looks like "hot chick," IMO, unless the guys' definition of it is different than what I picture in my mind. It may very well be true knowing we never can agree on the definition of "bad boys." People have various mental pictures.
at this point my definition of "hot chick" is one of my mah jong partners at the senior center who has won 3 times.
at this point my definition of "hot chick" is a classmate in my art class at the senior center running a fever.
That's not too bad yet! At least it's not like the lady in this joke about the old couple having breakfast naked together who told her husband she's still hot for him and he pointed out that's because one of her boobs was in her cup of coffee.
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The difference is at least I'm taking my sweet time and still not doing anything stupid while he started living with somebody shortly after our divorce.
At least it's not like the lady in this joke about the old couple having breakfast naked together who told her husband she's still hot for him and he pointed out that's because one of her boobs was in her cup of coffee.
