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No offense mrstewart, but you seem to be identifying a bit too closely with the wife (not that the wife doesn't deserve our sympathy), but it seems to be preventing you from seeing any of the other angles to the situation.
I am not identifying personally(my own experiences, that is) with this, but I will stand by the fact that this sort of stuff has become so common place we have become numb to it. Where is the accountability to someone BESIDES herself???
If my husband were involved in something like this, believe me, I would be featured on Nancy Grace.
No offense mrstewart, but you seem to be identifying a bit too closely with the wife (not that the wife doesn't deserve our sympathy), but it seems to be preventing you from seeing any of the other angles to the situation.
I think she identifies with the wife and the kids because that is her. That is myself as well and I have no sympathy for women that cannot find single men. This is not to let off the men who go around and act like dogs, but seriously, what does anyone want with someone else who is married and married with kids at that??? Yes the spouse is selfish for acting like an idiot but so is the other party involved! As a female, I want nothing to do with ANY married man! When I was single I had married men hit on me ALL the time and NEVER once...not one single time, did I give into that kind of situation. Why would I? There are plenty of single men out there...find your own!
I am really thankful for all the help everyone has given me. I can't say that I have always made the right decisions in my life but I have been pretty level headed for most of my life. I did not want to fall in love with this person and I am truly sorry that I did and I do feel intense remorse and even worst self hatre. I am definitely asking for a little help through this tough time. I thought I have always prided on being smart and confident but nevertheless could I ever imagine myself being able to slump so low in my life. I guess what I am trying to try is that no matter no pretty, smart, confident you are, you may be always be susceptible to trusting people who you believe to be kind and have your best interests at heart.
I honestly am having a hard time being me right now and I am really sorry. I just want to know that I am human and even if I made as big a mistake as this that somehow I can be okay and not dread every single minute of existence. :c rying:
Well, that's a little dramatic, but you'll be okay in time. Just remember, from now on, always say "no" to married men, and make sure that "no" is never changed to "maybe". You'll be fine. I understand how easy it is to let yourself be seduced and beguiled. Chalk this up as a very valuable learning experience, and be wise enough to resist temptation the next time it comes along (which it will; we're all human!).
Yep. Yep. This is one of the reasons why a single woman should never talk to a married man (unless that married man is her brother). They want their cake and eat it too when "trapped" in a loveless marriage with kids.
To the OP, well, now you know what happens when you compromise your integrity for someone else's comfort. Stop beating yourself up, talk to your family and re-build that connection with them (they must have been really worried about you) and go back to your friends you've isolated yourself from to be with that chump. Get that support system back, don't let your guilt keep you from doing back, let it go. Guilt doesn't change a thing. Get up, put yourself back together, you're a smart woman and go on with your life. When something or someone interesting and worthwhile comes your way, you'll forget about him.
YES dc_dm YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYED.(If you didn't know)
You did well at the start, you realized you had feelings for him so you changed company's (Smart)
You then kept seeing him as friends (Dumb)
You refused to move in with him when wife left (Smart)
You kept believing his lies (Dumb)
You vandalised his car (Smart, he deserved it)
I dont know how old you are but put this down as life experience. It took him a while to get you into bed but
once he knew you had feelings for him he knew if he persisted you would give in. Got to give him credit
wheres its due. He had his cake (Wife) and his cream on the side (You). Don't shed one tear for this guy he
doesn't deserve it.
YES dc_dm YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYED.(If you didn't know)
You did well at the start, you realized you had feelings for him so you changed company's (Smart)
You then kept seeing him as friends (Dumb)
You refused to move in with him when wife left (Smart)
You kept believing his lies (Dumb)
You vandalised his car (Smart, he deserved it)
I dont know how old you are but put this down as life experience. It took him a while to get you into bed but
once he knew you had feelings for him he knew if he persisted you would give in. Got to give him credit
wheres its due. He had his cake (Wife) and his cream on the side (You). Don't shed one tear for this guy he
doesn't deserve it.
Why attack an object.
The car didn't do anything to you.
I understand you wanted to hurt him in a moment of anger so you took out your frustration on something that belonged to him but that is childish.
You may have just showed him how immature, and how reactive you are to things that you could handle in a more sensible manner.
You could have been prosecuted.
Never get involved with a married man. You just might be a crutch to prop up his feelings of what he might consider as being a failure. Granted, he may not be the cause of the failed marriage. But he needs to be completely free, legally and emotionally, before you invest in your future with him.
Sometimes a person can't help who their heart falls love with.
Don't let the heart feelings take over what the brain knows is best.
Move on.
You can't turn back the clock.
But you can wind it up again.
Get on with your life.
By the way, I agree with timmy22.
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Just remember, from now on, always say "no" to married men, and make sure that "no" is never changed to "maybe". You'll be fine. I understand how easy it is to let yourself be seduced and beguiled. Chalk this up as a very valuable learning experience, and be wise enough to resist temptation the next time it comes along (which it will; we're all human!).
