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By the way, staying single is not an option for me. I wish I could. I need a man in my life. I need to be physically close to someone like I need air to breathe. I hate sleeping alone. I"m tired of getting my hug quota from my kids. It doesn't really work.
I just pray every day that I make the right decision, that my path will become clear.
Oh man now you've just gone did it. This one time I'm gonna zip my big mouth before I say something outta line.
Oh man now you've just gone did it. This one time I'm gonna zip my big mouth before I say something outta line.
OK, then I will open mine...
Girl, you can't even get rid of the man you have now...why borrow trouble?? No man is going to want a woman that goes from one relationship to another...you need to figure out why you need a man to define you.
I hope everything works out for you and you can be happy. This situation sounds horrible and stressful. Stress is TERRIBLE for autistic children...
Hi all - I need help in a big way. I'm in a very bad marriage. Husband is verbally abusive, can't control his temper, leaves house when even slightly irritated for many hours, curses in front of kids, calls me a b**** at the slightest hint of a disagreement. I can be a little bit of a nag sometimes (what woman isn't), hate it when he spends too much money (he put $8000 on a credit card in about 3 months on ... I'm not really sure on what). But I'm calm and rational, and want to rationally discuss things. My husband basically has tantrums over almost nothing, slamming doors, throwing things, etc. He refuses medication. He's not really physical abusive - will bump into me when passing me, head butted me once, screams in my face "f*** you" - but I'm just dumbfounded because these disagreements are actually very minor. I think he's pissed that he's being challenged or questioned about anything. His mother is extremely passive. He was married before - has son from previous marriage. Enough said.
I'd have left him long ago if not for my 2 kids. So here's the question: What are my chances at ever being remarried as a 44 year old woman (nice looking but not gorgeous, slim body more or less, but I'm interesting and fun and have a lot of good qualities I think, including cheerfully devoting myself 24/7 to my kids and husband, when he's being normal) with a 6 year old daughter and a 4-year-old autistic son who is very difficult but also sweet? I live in the Boston area, if that makes a difference. My father says forget it - stay with my husband as "What normal, successful guy would want to be with you?" (nice, huh) He has a point. I've never had any trouble attracting guys (they seem to like me, for some reason). But - well - I do come with a lot of baggage (namely my son).
Please please tell me what you think!!!
I say your crazy if you stay with him just because you are 44 and dont think you can pick up another man. First off, I believe you need to do what is right for yourself and your children and that is to get out of that marriage.. secondly, you shouldnt be thinking about getting into some other type of relationship before you are out of that one.. the reason for you to leave is to save yourself and your children from any more verbal abuse.. that sometimes can be more hurting then physical abuse. Is there another person out there for you?? Probably.. more then likely.. but at this point I would think you need to get some alone time and deal with getting you and your children out of that relationship and then make sure you are all okay before you start looking for someone else..
I can assure you that you will be okay once you get out of that relationship and you will more then likely find someone else.. but do not make that a reason to stay with or get out of the relationship with your husband.. there are other reasons for that.. and for god sakes dont think about another man until you are done with this one..
I think you should get involved with some Autism support groups in your area. Go to the meetings, the picnics, the workshops. Get your kids involved, too... and leave Dad at home. That way you can meet people, men and women, who already accept your son. You'll make friends; they'll introduce you to their friends. It may take some time, but you'll be moving in the right direction. As for your age, it's less of an issue than you'd think, unless you're attracted to 20-somethings. And don't listen to your dad. I have a feeling that growing up with his views about women may have gotten you into this mess to begin with.
Good luck!
To the OP- Every day you stay with this man, you're ruining your children's chances of ever having a normal relationship. Every. Day.
I don't care that you "can't" be single. You didn't HAVE to have children. Now that you made that choice, you're going to have to do things that you think you can't do.
Even if you do divorce (which is absolutely what you should do), you should be single for the first few years to get yourself together for the sake of your kids. And right now, you need to be in therapy to get over your issues. You are just as bad as your husband at hurting your kids and their chance at an emotionally healthy future.
I think you should get involved with some Autism support groups in your area. Go to the meetings, the picnics, the workshops. Get your kids involved, too... and leave Dad at home. That way you can meet people, men and women, who already accept your son. You'll make friends; they'll introduce you to their friends. It may take some time, but you'll be moving in the right direction. As for your age, it's less of an issue than you'd think, unless you're attracted to 20-somethings. And don't listen to your dad. I have a feeling that growing up with his views about women may have gotten you into this mess to begin with.
Good luck!
By the way, staying single is not an option for me. I wish I could. I need a man in my life. I need to be physically close to someone like I need air to breathe. I hate sleeping alone. I"m tired of getting my hug quota from my kids. It doesn't really work.
Well there's your problem. You can't even make your OWN self happy. How the heck do you expect anyone else to figure it out? I'm not trying to be harsh...just honest. You need to figure out how to go it alone. I don't believe you'll ever find any peace otherwise.
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Hi all - I need help in a big way. I'm in a very bad marriage. Husband is verbally abusive, can't control his temper, leaves house when even slightly irritated for many hours, curses in front of kids, calls me a b**** at the slightest hint of a disagreement. I can be a little bit of a nag sometimes (what woman isn't), hate it when he spends too much money (he put $8000 on a credit card in about 3 months on ... I'm not really sure on what). But I'm calm and rational, and want to rationally discuss things. My husband basically has tantrums over almost nothing, slamming doors, throwing things, etc. He refuses medication. He's not really physical abusive - will bump into me when passing me, head butted me once, screams in my face "f*** you" - but I'm just dumbfounded because these disagreements are actually very minor. I think he's pissed that he's being challenged or questioned about anything. His mother is extremely passive. He was married before - has son from previous marriage. Enough said.
