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Facts:
2 children with her (12 year old son & 6 year old daughter)
Leaving for out of state job on Thursday
I agreed to care for his son while he was away
Daughter will continue living with her mother
Baby Mama, staying at a weekly and does the "disappearing act" too often
She recently requested child support (he'd only buy for the kids when they needed things and not give her cash) and well needless to say that can't support her drug or gambling habit. During this request, we found out his son is not his. His son wants to live with us (he just moved out in July after a year with us because she told him to) but she refuses to stop child support for his daughter.
My questions are:
How awful are we that we will not take him unless she does so?
Do you tell the child this?
Any suggestions?
Facts:
2 children with her (12 year old son & 6 year old daughter)
Leaving for out of state job on Thursday
I agreed to care for his son while he was away
Daughter will continue living with her mother
Baby Mama, staying at a weekly and does the "disappearing act" too often
She recently requested child support (he'd only buy for the kids when they needed things and not give her cash) and well needless to say that can't support her drug or gambling habit. During this request, we found out his son is not his. His son wants to live with us (he just moved out in July after a year with us because she told him to) but she refuses to stop child support for his daughter.
My questions are:
How awful are we that we will not take him unless she does so?
Do you tell the child this?
Any suggestions?
I'm having trouble following your post. You will not take him until she does what? Do you tell the child what? Why should she stop child support for her daughter?
It sounds to me like your man and this woman are a perfect match. Why are you dating such a man?
I had a feeling you'd respond to this, you're the only one. lol
His son wants to live with us but we don't want to be supporting his son in our household and pay $500 a month in child support. If he was his biological father it would automatically release that but because he's not, she would have to stop the process. I'm a strong believer that a man has to take care of his obligations and he has, just not the way she wants him to. So my question is do we be honest with his son and explain the situation, cause he'll wonder why he can't live with us again. Thank I asked are we awful people for not wanting to take him because she won't stop the child support.
Why am I dating him...............he's not a bad person. I know that what you've heard about him sounds bad but has his good, great and wonderful qualities.
I think I'm going to befriend you...........I think we're meant to be. lmao
Is his name on his son's birth certificate? If it is he has to support him anyway. If his ex is in such terrible shape, why hasn't he stepped up and sought full custody of both children? She should be paying him child support.
He needs to see a lawyer specializing in family law before doing ANYTHING. Since son is 12, perhaps his wishes will weigh enough to persuade a court to give custody to dad, and to alter the child support order.
Yes, his name is on the birth certificate but the state only ordered child support for his daughter. He has done everything for his kids except actually kidnapping them. She refuses to let both of them live with us. We've called CPS on her on numerous occassions because the kids complain they don't have food or electricity. They recently were evicted and have been staying at a weekly for a month now.
Unfortunately, we can't afford a lawyer. We've been utilizing the states self help law assistance to help us but we were told that there isn't anything we can do for his son and he has already put in paperwork for custody of his daughter.
Please check with your local Legal Aid. It's always been my understanding that anyone could file for custody of a child, it will just be more complicated that his daughter. SInce his name is ont he birth certificate, he can file as the "presumptive father".
Please don't punish this child for his Mother's inadequacies. He didn't create this mess. If you can, please let him live with you. If you two can demonstrate that the child lives with you, rather than her (school registration and the child's testimony should be enough) the court will issue a stop order for child support for the son. Father's (and presumptive fathers) actually do have rights.
Any man who actually wants to take care of his kids and does is a good man in my book.
Yes, his name is on the birth certificate but the state only ordered child support for his daughter. He has done everything for his kids except actually kidnapping them. She refuses to let both of them live with us. We've called CPS on her on numerous occassions because the kids complain they don't have food or electricity. They recently were evicted and have been staying at a weekly for a month now.
Unfortunately, we can't afford a lawyer. We've been utilizing the states self help law assistance to help us but we were told that there isn't anything we can do for his son and he has already put in paperwork for custody of his daughter.
Why couldn't he also put in for custody of his son?
Pikantari ~ to answer your questions, he has always questioned it but decieded he take care of him because he had bonded with him. When she filed for child support, he felt he needed to find out because the recommended child support amount was $750 per month. What he wanted to do was have the son (who is not biologically his) live with us (because that's what the son wants) and have her cancel her request for child support for the daughter. This way, they would each have a child to care for. The baby mama, said the son can live with us but she is not stopping the $500 child support order.
Trishguard ~ he didn't file for custody of his son because he isn't his and he'd need to adopt him. We talked to her about obtaining guardianship for him and she said no.
In the end, we could take him into our home and pay the child support, which would be a financial struggle.......if we went after her for child support for the son, she'd pull him out of our home immediately. What good will it be to uproot him from our home in a month or two? Of course the other issue is, he leaves for Nebraska on Thursday so we aren't sure how much progress he'd make in the process. It's a big old mess!!
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