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There are many 80 and 90 year-old people walking the earth today, and many of them, I would presume, dated back in the early 50s.
As the kids say these days, "Like, for real!" One of my closest coworkers was born in 1934, and married in the late 1950s. He and I frequently banter about dating, cultural changes, family dynamics and gender roles. When I started working in this office, several amongst the engineering-staff were WW2 veterans. They weren't dating in the 1950s... because by then, they were already married!
My own furtive first attempts at dating were in the 1980s. Remarkably, those attempts were not successful. At least there's something to be said for consistency.
Originally Posted by Akonyo
It depends. Our society is also declining in just about every way imaginable.
In any event, lets call a spade a spade here. You think that this is a good thing because you are a woman and the change in culture has benefited you significantly.
I'm a man that values family and good manners. I'm also white. Dating is worse for me than it would have been many years ago.
I'm not really sure how that's relevant. My significant other and the love of my life is a male. He is also white. He would likely also say that he prefers dating today as it gives him more options. And I know for a fact that he appreciates having a woman who doesn't smoke as I look much younger at age 30 than I would have in the 1950's (and interestingly it is much-older men who are most likely to mistake me for being 19). Not every man wants celibate dating until you're expected to be a provider to a stay-at-home mom. I think you need to acknowledge that.
It's also possible that you are personally opposed to dating outside of your race or nationality, and obviously since there are more women of different races and nationalities now, I guess that would actually limit your options. But, frankly, that's your own self-imposed problem. There are still plenty of women who want what you want. If they have to come in a specific wrapper for you, well, that's your business.
Last edited by torontocheeka; 02-24-2016 at 01:52 AM..
No. I don't. How is having limited options in terms of lifestyle and choice of partners and unlimited judgment from strangers who think they have the right to tell you how to live your life beneficial in any way?
Society and culture are evolving. Evolution is always a good thing.
Hmm. 43% divorce rate. 70% of black children live in single parent households. In the 1950s, you could earn a middle class wage with a high school education doing a factory job. I'm not so sure that society has evolved to a better place. If you lucked out and were born smart, healthy, in an affluent household with access to good education, then sure. That's 20% or 30% of the population. That 20% or 30% has far more choices and freedom now, particularly women and minorities.
I don't think we have moved towards a better society and culture. We no longer value marriage. Men don't seem to want to help raise and support their kids once they leave the mother. Other men don't want to step in and help raise someone else's kids.
We have turned into a me,me, me, selfish society. Always looking for something better and never bring content. That includes jobs and relationships.
Those of us that just want a simple life, staying in the same town, married and happy, working in the same company in town for life, are seen as boring.
Hmm. 43% divorce rate. 70% of black children live in single parent households. In the 1950s, you could earn a middle class wage with a high school education doing a factory job. I'm not so sure that society has evolved to a better place. If you lucked out and were born smart, healthy, in an affluent household with access to good education, then sure. That's 20% or 30% of the population. That 20% or 30% has far more choices and freedom now, particularly women and minorities.
The divorce rate takes 40 years to hit 40%. And I'm not sure that a 40% divorce rate is a BAD thing. Plenty of science shows, for example, that a toxic marriage actually takes a negative toll on a woman's health. There are physiological changes that occur such as hardening of the arteries, from years of enduring stress and feeling "on edge" around a person (and in many cases, ongoing fighting). You think people should be trapped in bad marriages because why exactly? So you can feel more secure shackling some woman to you that she has to put up with you no matter how you behave or how incompatible you are?
Yeah... no.
Also, "black children" are not a monolith. Technically, I grew up in a "single parent home." That's only because my parents (mom and stepdad) were engaged but never married, and he also had another primary residence in Frankfurt (followed by Geneva, followed by Connecticut), it was related to his job. People's individual lives are complicated and can't be extracted from a simple statistic. Some women in relationships prefer to not claim marital status due to loss of potential benefits and sometimes due to not wanting to have an additional person in the household to clean for, provide for and be responsible for. That doesn't necessarily mean they're alone. I also don't live in America either. I hate to have to point this out on city-data, a global website, but America is not the entire world. As I understand it, the average marriage that ends in divorce here in Canada is 14 years old, nearly double the 8 years old of the average marriage ending in divorce in the States.
The violent crime rate has been on the decline for over 20 years where I live; in 2013 it was as low as it had been in 1969. Rape is also down. Even prison rapes are down. I don't think the increasing income inequality is a good thing, but there are many factors owing to this, some unavoidable and others not (automation, outsourcing, immigration, and substantially lower individual tax rates than in the 1950s and especially since the Reagan era of tax cuts). So it seems rather pointless to endlessly mourn a lost era of job security when it was an anomaly and cannot come back, because a lot of those low-skill jobs simply don't exist anymore.
I get it... some old-fashioned and religious white men liked subjugating women and minorities, and benefitting at their expense. I guess I'm just a little baffled as to why you would want to admit this, though. I mean, really, there should be shame around it.
Last edited by torontocheeka; 02-24-2016 at 05:21 AM..
I don't think we have moved towards a better society and culture. We no longer value marriage. Men don't seem to want to help raise and support their kids once they leave the mother. Other men don't want to step in and help raise someone else's kids.
We have turned into a me,me, me, selfish society. Always looking for something better and never bring content. That includes jobs and relationships.
Those of us that just want a simple life, staying in the same town, married and happy, working in the same company in town for life, are seen as boring.
Yeah, I gotta be honest: as someone whose mother moved me out to a small suburban town from a large city at age 10 that I then left to return to the big city at age 20 on my own... that does indeed sound boring as f**k. My significant other actually did the same (moved from his boring-a$$ small town to the big city), only at age 22. Would I have preferred to have met him earlier in life than I did? Sure, I would love to have been settled down in my early 20's, though he has mused that we may not have been as compatible at that time as we are now. Anyway, I would not have wanted to be in a stable decade-long relationship at the expense of being with the right person. Not sure if you know this, but the "happy" part only comes along with "married" if you're with the right person.
I am very happy living in the same rural town. We don't even have a fast food restaurant. We have one traffic light. This is how I want to live my life. I hate traffic, noise and the sound of sirens makes me want to lose my mind. I hate city hustle and bustle. I can walk out in my backyard naked and can't even see another house.
I took my daughter to the nearby town the other day, which is where are county seat and way more people. Not huge like Baltimore or New York, but way more traffic. My daughter hated it and could not wait to get out of there.
I get that happy and married has to be with the right person. I think my right person was hit by a bus, or got lost in a condom. I don't know.
I am very happy living in the same rural town. We don't even have a fast food restaurant. We have one traffic light. This is how I want to live my life. I hate traffic, noise and the sound of sirens makes me want to lose my mind. I hate city hustle and bustle. I can walk out in my backyard naked and can't even see another house.
I took my daughter to the nearby town the other day, which is where are county seat and way more people. Not huge like Baltimore or New York, but way more traffic. My daughter hated it and could not wait to get out of there.
I get that happy and married has to be with the right person. I think my right person was hit by a bus, or got lost in a condom. I don't know.
Well, I get that you're into that sort of thing. I don't think it makes anyone more selfish or "me me me" than you for choosing to live their life another way than you prefer. I went to high school with a number of people who never left town and married their high school sweethearts (usually after 10 years of dating, weddings are expensive!), and a few even have a couple of kids now. That's fine for them if that's the lifestyle that makes them happiest, but I don't see how you can say that if other people envision a different life for themselves that they shouldn't have that option because it would make you happier if they don't.
I do know that statistically cities are more female (demographically) than rural areas, so obviously there are some young men that are getting sort of left behind in that sense (quite literally), and so dating might be harder you for now just given fewer young women around. So I feel for you in that sense.
Dating was simpler and better in the 50s because everyone knew where they stood. Nowadays people just want to inflate themselves by posting photos on facebook, fishing for compliments and attention, and trying to get free drinks.
I think it was different, not nessarily "easier"
It would have had its own set of challenges, but not free of them all tighter.
Since I wasn't dating during this era I only offer this type of answer
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