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Thanks for your input. Very insightful. Well thought-out.
This thread is about dating in the 1950s, and your response to somebody who did is Eek.
Funny response! Literally made me LOL.
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Originally Posted by JerZ
I find more than anyone else, white males tend to look back on them fondly.
And why wouldn't we? As a white male, I would LOVE to back to that time. I would have a very nice, easy career that I could just sail through to retirement. I would have little competition. I would be able to have a woman whose sole purpose in life is catering to me. Also, divorce would be extremely unlikely.
There is absolutely no benefit to being a white male in today's world (except maybe easier access to sex....which is not something that I'm not really interested in).
Of course, it's still entirely possible to be successful, but you need to hustle a lot more. And relationships are very unstable.
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I do think men my age are so much more chauvinistic now than when I was a teen, though. Which is kind of odd. You would think each generation goes "forward" but when any given generation goes backward on itself then you can see how untrue this can be. I started dating in the 80s, and girls were quite sure of themselves at that time, IMO. Now that I'm close to 50, it seems like men my age...the SAME men who were so open-minded and equal then...are all now looking for a chick to wash their dirty socks for them and not mind that they're sitting around farting in chairs and watching football. (Not that there's anything wrong with football...) I also find men in my agegroup now, who decades ago would have been literally, I mean literally disgusted at their own fathers doing this, expecting the wife to write out the Christmas cards, expecting the wife to do the majority of the childcare and cleaning, expect the wife to speak to their own mothers/families for them to arrange things, etc.
Why wouldn't men become "chauvinistic" as they age? Many are brainwashed from a young age and forcefed "equal rights". Well, equal rights is not beneficial to us. Most men seem to be more willing to play this game when they're younger and less willing as they get older.
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In short I am so disappointed, overall, in my generation. We started out strong with equality and mutual respect and seem to have degenerated. I could be wrong, or it could be coincidental and based on people I know rather than be an across-the-board thing...I don't know. But it's part of why, once I'm divorced, I never plan on marrying again. Never. Have a relationship, sure. But only one I can easily get out of should the mutual respect go south. I hope that doesn't sound cold, but it's the truth, for me.
Again, the "equal rights" concept (and everything that goes with it) is not beneficial for men. As men age, they (either consciously or subconsciously) realize this and figure "what's the point". I consider myself an early adapter. I already feel this way.
If a woman is not having babies, cooking, or cleaning, then what do I need her for? I'm able to get sex fairly easily and I have tons of friends and am close to my family (so I don't need companionship). I also don't care about appearing successful in this regard (never post on Facebook, don't brag to my friends about these kinds of things, etc).
Wasn't born in the 1950's so I have no clue what dating was like then. As for now, dating is not easy for everyone and for others they get lucky and everything drops in their lap. Hell, I canceled a lunch date today because I realized I'm not ready to date again.
If a woman is not having babies, cooking, or cleaning, then what do I need her for? I'm able to get sex fairly easily and I have tons of friends and am close to my family (so I don't need companionship). I also don't care about appearing successful in this regard (never post on Facebook, don't brag to my friends about these kinds of things, etc).
Well then for you, everything's fine, right? Why worry about dating today v. the 50s or dating at all (you did check into this thread so there was some interest there one way or another) since you don't "need" a woman? You get sex, you don't need help cleaning (for whatever reason...either you do it yourself, or you don't bother, or you pay someone for it) and in your opinion, marriage doesn't benefit a man so who cares about dating now, 60 years ago or in the 23rd century? Just keep doing what you're doing.
OTOH the OP claims he isn't vested in the answer to the question and is just curious. But now that he knows women are unnecessary per your comments, I'm sure even his mild interest will dwindle, so I guess sadly, this thread is over.
Even though sadly, white supremacy is frowned upon today and domination of (unwilling/trapped) females is largely underground now, he gets ALL the sex he wants and his house is nice and clean.
Dating was probably less complicated all around, but no... I would not have liked it. Fewer choices, as far as whom it was socially-acceptable to date, rigid gender roles, too much pressure to settle down young and fall into s cookie-cutter life script.
I asked my dad, since he graduated high school in the 1950s and earned his university degrees in the '60s.
Friends often suggested fix-ups. Your buddy at work might have a younger sister. Two families who socialize at church might think you and someone else would be a good fit. Your fraternity is friendly with the sorority down the street. People generally dated within their class and education level, which is still common today. Interracial dating was out. Catholics dated Catholics. Jews dated Jews. You didn't date someone from the "wrong side of the tracks" either. Men did the asking. Men had to be prompt and polite, especially around the parents. There was no confusion. If you asked a woman out to dinner or a movie, it was a date. By that point people were less inclined to marry their high school sweethearts, but anyone not going to college was expected to be married in their early 20s.
My dad went to college at an engineering-dominated university in a small town. 90% of the student body was male. They had to find someone with a car each weekend and drive 30 miles to the state university just for a shot at meeting a woman. There were no private phone calls, because most housing had party lines. They had to set up dates a week in advance, essentially, meeting someone one Friday night and asking her out for the next Friday night, and making sure transportation could be secured. He had a unique situation in that regard, and modern conveniences of today would have made his dating life a lot easier back then.
I asked my dad, since he graduated high school in the 1950s and earned his university degrees in the '60s.
Friends often suggested fix-ups. Your buddy at work might have a younger sister. Two families who socialize at church might think you and someone else would be a good fit. Your fraternity is friendly with the sorority down the street. People generally dated within their class and education level, which is still common today. Interracial dating was out. Catholics dated Catholics. Jews dated Jews. You didn't date someone from the "wrong side of the tracks" either. Men did the asking. Men had to be prompt and polite, especially around the parents. There was no confusion. If you asked a woman out to dinner or a movie, it was a date. By that point people were less inclined to marry their high school sweethearts, but anyone not going to college was expected to be married in their early 20s.
My dad went to college at an engineering-dominated university in a small town. 90% of the student body was male. They had to find someone with a car each weekend and drive 30 miles to the state university just for a shot at meeting a woman. There were no private phone calls, because most housing had party lines. They had to set up dates a week in advance, essentially, meeting someone one Friday night and asking her out for the next Friday night, and making sure transportation could be secured. He had a unique situation in that regard, and modern conveniences of today would have made his dating life a lot easier back then.
I remember hearing about something like this. Kids who went to private (single-gender) schools had to invite students from the nearest opposite-gender school to the school dance. They didn't even have to meet; it was arranged that the whole junior class from one school would attend the junior-class dance at the other school. Participants had to be bussed from one town to the next for the event. If a boy and girl were seen making out (at the highschool level), in the first school assembly after the event, the boys' school principal would talk about how shame was brought on the school, a student had sullied the school's reputation.
Real fun & games (sarcasm). And some of you guys thought it was easier back then?
My dad went to college at an engineering-dominated university in a small town. 90% of the student body was male. They had to find someone with a car each weekend and drive 30 miles to the state university just for a shot at meeting a woman.
... modern conveniences of today would have made his dating life a lot easier back then.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
...Real fun & games (sarcasm). And some of you guys thought it was easier back then?
When pining for the 1950s, or for an even earlier time, assuredly we're not enthused about an era before telephones or birth-control or private ownership of motor-vehicles or civil rights. Of course it is immeasurably easier today for a man and a woman with mutual interest to go on a date, and if they so desire, to become intimate.
But we need to distinguish between the difficulty of two willing young people dating, vs. the marital options of a diffident and clumsy but otherwise "eligible" male.
Let me be blunt: in a patriarchal society riven by divisions of class, race and gender, a well-educated affluent upper-middle-class (and above) white male had little cause to struggle with dating, with relationships and marriage. RadioSilence's dad may have struggled with logistical challenges like transportation and dormitory curfews, but once he graduated and landed a cushy job, his problems in finding a wife would have largely been obviated. His older male colleagues at the engineering-firm would be falling over themselves to match him with one of their daughters.
Those of us pining for an earlier time aren't talking about promiscuous sex or easy conquests on campus. On the contrary, we are assuming a stodgy and uncompromising society, hypocritical and in many regards despicably unjust. But we see ourselves as the serendipitous beneficiaries of this injustice.
Look, no thoughtful person wants to be transported into the Dark Ages – into a time of starvation, disease, wanton violence and no concept of basic human rights… unless one thinks that in being so transported, one is going to be Lancelot or Gawain.
I remember hearing about something like this. Kids who went to private (single-gender) schools had to invite students from the nearest opposite-gender school to the school dance. They didn't even have to meet; it was arranged that the whole junior class from one school would attend the junior-class dance at the other school. Participants had to be bussed from one town to the next for the event. If a boy and girl were seen making out (at the highschool level), in the first school assembly after the event, the boys' school principal would talk about how shame was brought on the school, a student had sullied the school's reputation.
Real fun & games (sarcasm). And some of you guys thought it was easier back then?
Leave enough room for the holy ghost!
My mom's friends' (parochial school) teachers actually said that. And paced among the dancing couples to physically put a hand between them to show how much space they had to leave.
Hot times!
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Why worry about dating today v. the 50s or dating at all (you did check into this thread so there was some interest there one way or another) since you don't "need" a woman? You get sex, you don't need help cleaning (for whatever reason...either you do it yourself, or you don't bother, or you pay someone for it) and in your opinion, marriage doesn't benefit a man so who cares about dating now, 60 years ago or in the 23rd century? Just keep doing what you're doing. 
