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you need to get rid of that loser and get your money to buy things for yourself and your kids even plan a vacation yearly... get rid of that life sucker!!!!
My husband and I were together for ten years before we got married last year. We have two children. Our relationship has always been challenging. Most of these challenges resulted from his substance abuse issues and low self-esteem. He has lost job after job. I believe that he is functionally illiterate. Two years ago I finally finished getting my Bachelor's and got a decent paying job. My husband decided to go back to school also at that point. He was doing really well, became really active in the kid's lives and was working and going to school. We set goals and I was so happy that we were working towards them. That's when we decided to get married.
Well, within four months of our marriage, he dropped out of school. He began drinking excessively again and he is now working about 15-20 hours per week at a restaurant on weeknights. That's it. He's home all day and when I get home the house is a mess.
He gives me about $250 dollars per month, but his personal bills exceed $500 per month (of course I pay those as well as all of the other household bills). The problem is, we live in a house that my parents own. Therefore, he's the one that needs to leave. He doesn't have any money - or seemingly the capacity to earn any. I can't afford to "set him up" in a new place and his family won't help him out.
What can I do? I want out of this so badly. I've worked too hard to provide my kids with a good life and I'm not even able to do so because I'm supporting this grown man!
Old thread. The OP hasn't been here since April of last year. This was her only thread.
I do wonder what happened to some of these people. They rarely come back and tell us!
Heh, if not for the chronology and the drinking, I'd wonder if she married my ex-husband. The dropping out of school and becoming a sluggard thing is giving me a flashback. Gawd, she was even in Maryland, where he is now.
This sounds like a scenario that millions of men have faced in the last 25 years. How did they manage?
Oh, I nearly forgot that they didn't get to keep the kids and live in their house, so now they live in a two room basement suite.
What you have here is an interesting problem, from an equality perspective. You may have to support him, just like he would have to support you if your roles were reversed. This is a problem my sister might face. Having a house husband was convenient, but now that my neice is a teen, he has no role and no prospects. Besides he owes his ex a bundle.
Such men have no national organizations going to bat for them but judges like to set precidents. Only seems fair.
Moving has been a revelation. Instead of living where mostly good looking, "successful" men were getting married and then being taken to the cleaners in divorce, now its the women who have jobs and they are generally supporting a good looking layabout. This leaves them in the lurch, for a change, so there is lots of whining around here.
I think we are encountering an era of a complete sex role reversal that will result in men who can (because they are good looking) finding a woman to support them and when she gets bored, these guys will live happily thereafter on the proceeds. The only advantage to the women is that the housing is usually much cheaper where this occurs.
He gives me about $250 dollars per month, but his personal bills exceed $500 per month (of course I pay those as well as all of the other household bills). The problem is, we live in a house that my parents own. Therefore, he's the one that needs to leave. He doesn't have any money - or seemingly the capacity to earn any. I can't afford to "set him up" in a new place and his family won't help him out.
What can I do? I want out of this so badly. I've worked too hard to provide my kids with a good life and I'm not even able to do so because I'm supporting this grown man!
You need to dump him on his parents door..or a brother, sister, cousin, etc... Its not your problem!
Wow this is a difficult situation. I don't have any answers just be cautious. Desperate people do desperate things. I am sorry for what you are going through.
He is already depressed, maybe if you compleatly ruin his self esteem he will kill him self.
Well that is what my ex tried, almost worked, unfortunently I got over it am am doing quite well now.
Hay I Understand your Pain I'm going throught a simular situation, and I dont know how to get rid of my husband either!
This thread started April of 2009?? I doubt if its all relevant.
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