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I'm going to validate this because it sounds like you wish to be a better you. That is good, but remember that not everybody is good and their opinions of you could be wrong, so do not base everything on the opinions of others. Change for the better because you want a better life for you. You live your life and know yourself the best.
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston
i
From now, 8th May 2009, i will be a new and normal person.
I do have to grow up. I am a man and should take responsibility for myself.
No. You're a man in the biological sense of the word. Emotionally, you're apparently still clinging to childlike resentments of what your parents did and didn't do, or said and didn't say.
Grown-ups come to recognize that their parents are flesh-and-blood human beings, capable of mistakes. When you come to recognize this and lay aside the entire blame-the-parents shtick, then you can make progress as a person.
Hey, do some of the things my parents did still rattle my cage? Absolutely. Are there some things my father should have done differently in both how he treated his wife and his children? No question. But I'm not sitting here seething with resentment over his manifest flaws. And I really wish he were alive today.
So again, grow up. Not by nursing a slew of petty resentments. But by forgiving and moving on. You're 29 after all, for God's sake.
I vote troll. How could someone go from not believing in psychiatry to make an appointment with a psychiatrist? And he already knows the psychiatrist is a female. I think the thread has gone on for too long for him to make a coherent story.
If the OP is still living with the parents then there could be other on going issues.
It takes time for people to heal. It's not just a mentality and maturity issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
No. You're a man in the biological sense of the word. Emotionally, you're apparently still clinging to childlike resentments of what your parents did and didn't do, or said and didn't say.
Grown-ups come to recognize that their parents are flesh-and-blood human beings, capable of mistakes. When you come to recognize this and lay aside the entire blame-the-parents shtick, then you can make progress as a person.
Hey, do some of the things my parents did still rattle my cage? Absolutely. Are there some things my father should have done differently in both how he treated his wife and his children? No question. But I'm not sitting here seething with resentment over his manifest flaws. And I really wish he were alive today.
So again, grow up. Not by nursing a slew of petty resentments. But by forgiving and moving on. You're 29 after all, for God's sake.
He said psychologist and when you make an appointment they usually tell you the name of the person you are going to see.
Quote:
Originally Posted by akck
I vote troll. How could someone go from not believing in psychiatry to make an appointment with a psychiatrist? And he already knows the psychiatrist is a female. I think the thread has gone on for too long for him to make a coherent story.
When I was about 13 I analized why I was different from other kids in a negative way, came to the conclusion that I was not raised in a good manner and built my own values from that moment on.
I have not become a perfect person, i still have difficulties with certain parts of "the social game", women in particular.
But I'm a hell of alot more of who I want to be than I would be if I had not decided to contruct my own set of morals, way of reasoning and so forth. I'm 19 and I am no longer a social reject It has taken me 6 years getting this far, because social development is nothing you do overnight, especially without anyone to guide you.
For me the first step of any situation is always to face reality, I'll take a losing streak in a sport as example; "why have I lost 5 games in a row?"
is it
A What I see as the mentality of a weak person:
"The first and last one cheated, i had bad luck with the middle one, and I was injured while facing the other two. otherwise I might have won one or a few of them, and also you gotta know how to lose to know how to win"
B Is of course the one I'm in a hate-love relationship with;
Bad things are gonna happen, your are gonna be injured, you are gonna have bad luck, you will have cheating oponents, But this can never be an excuse to let failure happen. Failure and success will both always happen, but its up to me to make the successes a majority in quality and quantity.
I'll admit this right now: I suck at getting women. This is my "hunters unicorn"; the area that I keep failing at but wont give up with.
Could I blame this on my parents when I was in highschool? yeah probably...
Can I keep blaming them year after year after I am aware of the problem? Can I blame not being well-endowed? NO! Not for long. It is my personal failure and obstacles, and up to me to do something about. Do I whine about? I try not to. Have I done anything about it? Yes, nothing have worked so far, But I keep trying, the search goes on.
Somethings you can do anything abou, like how well I'm endowed. Thats when you suck it up, ignore the obstacle and keep going forward. Giving up is easy, but people who give up shouldn't whine either, quitters do not deserve success in imo. Full speed ahead is the only speed ahead.
You are 29 and you load your heap of garbage on your parents, grow an own pair of nuts, suck it up and grab the bull by its horns.
Much like "get rich or die tryin'" Life aint easy, im 19 and I already know. The sweet days of playing with toys and eating cookies are over. I believe that if I don't run over, push through, and smash down my obstacles, they will run me down, push me away and smash me down.
But thats my philosophy, if you don't like it, don't mind it. I feel stronger because of it. I don't share it to subtly critsize you, I don't claim to be a pro at how to transform your or anyone elses life. But I hope my experience of a situation with many common denominators to your situation will help you.
Good luck.
I make my life fun and enjoyable even though I'm no longer a child. Life doesn't frequently have to be a suffering and stressful mis-adventure. If your a Type A personality then you will enjoy the struggle and pain. If you are Type B personality like myself you just want to do whatever you feel comfortable with and then live in comforts and avoid most anything that causes suffering.
There is another poster on here who is a dancer and she dances for fun. I mean why does life have to be painful and aggravating?
When I was about 13 I analized why I was different from other kids in a negative way, came to the conclusion that I was not raised in a good manner and built my own values from that moment on.
I have not become a perfect person, i still have difficulties with certain parts of "the social game", women in particular.
But I'm a hell of alot more of who I want to be than I would be if I had not decided to contruct my own set of morals, way of reasoning and so forth. I'm 19 and I am no longer a social reject It has taken me 6 years getting this far, because social development is nothing you do overnight, especially without anyone to guide you.
For me the first step of any situation is always to face reality, I'll take a losing streak in a sport as example; "why have I lost 5 games in a row?"
is it
A What I see as the mentality of a weak person:
"The first and last one cheated, i had bad luck with the middle one, and I was injured while facing the other two. otherwise I might have won one or a few of them, and also you gotta know how to lose to know how to win"
B Is of course the one I'm in a hate-love relationship with;
Bad things are gonna happen, your are gonna be injured, you are gonna have bad luck, you will have cheating oponents, But this can never be an excuse to let failure happen. Failure and success will both always happen, but its up to me to make the successes a majority in quality and quantity.
I'll admit this right now: I suck at getting women. This is my "hunters unicorn"; the area that I keep failing at but wont give up with.
Could I blame this on my parents when I was in highschool? yeah probably...
Can I keep blaming them year after year after I am aware of the problem? Can I blame not being well-endowed? NO! Not for long. It is my personal failure and obstacles, and up to me to do something about. Do I whine about? I try not to. Have I done anything about it? Yes, nothing have worked so far, But I keep trying, the search goes on.
Somethings you can do anything abou, like how well I'm endowed. Thats when you suck it up, ignore the obstacle and keep going forward. Giving up is easy, but people who give up shouldn't whine either, quitters do not deserve success in imo. Full speed ahead is the only speed ahead.
You are 29 and you load your heap of garbage on your parents, grow an own pair of nuts, suck it up and grab the bull by its horns.
Much like "get rich or die tryin'" Life aint easy, im 19 and I already know. The sweet days of playing with toys and eating cookies are over. I believe that if I don't run over, push through, and smash down my obstacles, they will run me down, push me away and smash me down.
But thats my philosophy, if you don't like it, don't mind it. I feel stronger because of it. I don't share it to subtly critsize you, I don't claim to be a pro at how to transform your or anyone elses life. But I hope my experience of a situation with many common denominators to your situation will help you.
Good luck.
You are en route to a great life. That took some courage, Niceguy, figuring out that stuff and continuing to do so. You're already ahead of the game. At your age, I find this incredible. Some people don't learn this until much, much later, and some never, ever do.
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