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I'm going to validate this because it sounds like you wish to be a better you. That is good, but remember that not everybody is good and their opinions of you could be wrong, so do not base everything on the opinions of others. Change for the better because you want a better life for you. You live your life and know yourself the best.
No. You're a man in the biological sense of the word. Emotionally, you're apparently still clinging to childlike resentments of what your parents did and didn't do, or said and didn't say.
Grown-ups come to recognize that their parents are flesh-and-blood human beings, capable of mistakes. When you come to recognize this and lay aside the entire blame-the-parents shtick, then you can make progress as a person.
Hey, do some of the things my parents did still rattle my cage? Absolutely. Are there some things my father should have done differently in both how he treated his wife and his children? No question. But I'm not sitting here seething with resentment over his manifest flaws. And I really wish he were alive today.
So again, grow up. Not by nursing a slew of petty resentments. But by forgiving and moving on. You're 29 after all, for God's sake.
well, from today i am different. I am not angry any more.
He knows it's a she maybe because the listing has a first name or the person was referred to him.
Could be, but after all the posts of psycho analysis being a farce, I find it hard to believe he already had a number and is ready to call. It's easier to believe it's a story he's evolving and is now getting too big for him to remember what he said. Also, he gives very little detail, detail which would make it easier for him to slip up.
Everybody is a little different, so it is impossible to be exactly like everyone else. People that are co-dependent to "group structure" are often weak and insecure small minded people. Don't fall into a cult trap.
But you can try to fit in better by wearing similar clothes, hair cut, music, manner of body language etc.
Just because it is a forum doesn't mean you have to give up personal details all of the time. Some people are very private, even on forums.
Quote:
Originally Posted by akck
Could be, but after all the posts of psycho analysis being a farce, I find it hard to believe he already had a number and is ready to call. It's easier to believe it's a story he's evolving and is now getting too big for him to remember what he said. Also, he gives very little detail, detail which would make it easier for him to slip up.
When I was about 13 I analized why I was different from other kids in a negative way, came to the conclusion that I was not raised in a good manner and built my own values from that moment on.
I have not become a perfect person, i still have difficulties with certain parts of "the social game", women in particular.
But I'm a hell of alot more of who I want to be than I would be if I had not decided to contruct my own set of morals, way of reasoning and so forth. I'm 19 and I am no longer a social reject It has taken me 6 years getting this far, because social development is nothing you do overnight, especially without anyone to guide you.
For me the first step of any situation is always to face reality, I'll take a losing streak in a sport as example; "why have I lost 5 games in a row?"
is it
A What I see as the mentality of a weak person:
"The first and last one cheated, i had bad luck with the middle one, and I was injured while facing the other two. otherwise I might have won one or a few of them, and also you gotta know how to lose to know how to win"
B Is of course the one I'm in a hate-love relationship with;
Bad things are gonna happen, your are gonna be injured, you are gonna have bad luck, you will have cheating oponents, But this can never be an excuse to let failure happen. Failure and success will both always happen, but its up to me to make the successes a majority in quality and quantity.
I'll admit this right now: I suck at getting women. This is my "hunters unicorn"; the area that I keep failing at but wont give up with.
Could I blame this on my parents when I was in highschool? yeah probably...
Can I keep blaming them year after year after I am aware of the problem? Can I blame not being well-endowed? NO! Not for long. It is my personal failure and obstacles, and up to me to do something about. Do I whine about? I try not to. Have I done anything about it? Yes, nothing have worked so far, But I keep trying, the search goes on.
Somethings you can do anything abou, like how well I'm endowed. Thats when you suck it up, ignore the obstacle and keep going forward. Giving up is easy, but people who give up shouldn't whine either, quitters do not deserve success in imo. Full speed ahead is the only speed ahead.
You are 29 and you load your heap of garbage on your parents, grow an own pair of nuts, suck it up and grab the bull by its horns.
Much like "get rich or die tryin'" Life aint easy, im 19 and I already know. The sweet days of playing with toys and eating cookies are over. I believe that if I don't run over, push through, and smash down my obstacles, they will run me down, push me away and smash me down.
But thats my philosophy, if you don't like it, don't mind it. I feel stronger because of it. I don't share it to subtly critsize you, I don't claim to be a pro at how to transform your or anyone elses life. But I hope my experience of a situation with many common denominators to your situation will help you.
Good luck.
another insult, but i don't mind. i feel more confident today and know what I have to do.
I don't think sarcasm and rolling eyes is going to help this guy much.
Nothing will, apparently. He thinks the long post by Niceguy89 is some kind of an insult to him. It's really hard to take any of this seriously - except for the violence part.
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