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I am 2 months out of an abusive relationship, not as physical as mental, and I'm still having a hard time functioning. I'm trying to find a way to get out of this rut, the one that makes you think you can't trust him or her or they can't be trusted. My ex was an alcoholic and was very manipulative. I go around and act like I'm doing well everyday, as if I'm fully recovered mentally from the former abuse I had taken but truth be told I have to take anti anxiety pills daily and break down all the time in the most random places. I'm hoping for some help or someone to talk to that's been through what I have so I can have a support or a brace to help me and I hope I can share my story and strugles to help others as well.
These things do take time. Many will suggest counseling. Go for it if you need it and think it will help. Talking about it is a good start even if it is talking/venting on the internet. Sometimes talking to strangers is better than friends and family. There may also be support groups in your community or church.
Keep your head up and stay positive. I am out of a 10 yr. psychological abusive marriage, it does get better.
I am 2 months out of an abusive relationship, not as physical as mental, and I'm still having a hard time functioning. I'm trying to find a way to get out of this rut, the one that makes you think you can't trust him or her or they can't be trusted. My ex was an alcoholic and was very manipulative. I go around and act like I'm doing well everyday, as if I'm fully recovered mentally from the former abuse I had taken but truth be told I have to take anti anxiety pills daily and break down all the time in the most random places. I'm hoping for some help or someone to talk to that's been through what I have so I can have a support or a brace to help me and I hope I can share my story and strugles to help others as well.
This is an issue I feel very strongly about, Yes, I've been there. Whether mental or physical it's still abuse. If you've never been to a support group for domestic violence, giving that a try might help you out. If you don't mind my asking is this the first time you have left the relationship?
Some folks mistakenly assume that once an alcohol-related abusive relationship has ended, then the horrible feelings that go with it will end as well. Hardly ever is this the case.
Al-Anon Family Groups is available at no cost to anyone, and their track record of helping people exactly like you is extraordinary. Please contact them and tell them what you told us in your post. They will direct you to a local meeting where you can talk with people who have suffered as you do now, and how they recovered from the intensity of those feelings.
Here is a link to their website:
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen (http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html - broken link)
But nothing helps quite as much as some face time with a few of the Al-Anon members. Please call them.
After I got my divorce, it took me a good year to get my head back on straight. In that time, I saw a therapist and did no dating whatsoever. I was also on the same roller coaster of emotions that you are and just as bewildered. My therapist said it was because during my marriage, I was in "survival mode" having to hold my emotions and reactions in just to survive the abuse (which was very true). Once the danger was gone, all the emotions and reactions I had been surpressing were now coming to the surface. It's actually a good sign and it's necessary for you to go through it to heal. Start writing in a journal ... all your thoughts, feelings and emotions. That helped me a lot. Also, find a good therapist if you can. I know this is a very difficult time for you, but you are definitely on the right track.
i still in this abusive relationship where my husband keep using drug and had cause misery and hardship in my life. i dont hv family here i need friends whom understand the situation im in
My boyfriend's mom was in that situation about ten years ago. She and the kids went to counseling. She also volunteered at a womens shelter. I think that it helped her to see other women going through similar situations. Just this year though, one of my boyfriend's sisters is going through some therapy. The psychotherapist says that she has post traumatic stress syndrome from dealing with her father.
I think that what's difficult for them is that my boyfriend's dad refuses to admit that he has a drinking problem. He has also never acknowledged or apologized for his terrible actions. He just acts like nothing is wrong and that it's everyone else that has the problem. I can't stand the man. I find him to be very self centered and selfish, and also demanding.
I think that what's difficult for them is that my boyfriend's dad refuses to admit that he has a drinking problem.
And from there to twisting it back onto the others it's just a step. The other ones then start questioning themselves and their reasoning, and start going 'what if I'm wrong and only exaggerating?'
There are people out there who are not 'alcoholics', but 'abuse alcohol' - not that it makes any difference to the others.
May I ask, in your bf's dad case, does it appear plausible when he says he hasn't got a problem? What is his drinking pattern?
No offense, but if you're looking for some heavy support, this isn't the place. There are groups in most places that deal with this and you need a more "human" touch.
Get yourself professional counseling and seek out local support groups.
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