Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
from someone of the opposite sex that I'm actually attracted to? Is this weird?
There is this guy that I think is cute at my work that is seeming to go out of his way to come make small talk with me when he's in my vicinity, and it's annoying the hell out of me. It just started in the last couple of weeks (btw, we're only there at the same time once a week). It's annoying me but at the same time I'm egging it on a bit because I AM attracted to him.
It literally makes me mad. I guess I'm mad at myself for letting myself fall for it, because with my track record, he's probably only paying attention to me to entertain himself and thinking about it is not going to amount to much. yes, I'm a cynic I know.
from someone of the opposite sex that I'm actually attracted to? Is this weird?
There is this guy that I think is cute at my work that is seeming to go out of his way to come make small talk with me when he's in my vicinity, and it's annoying the hell out of me. It just started in the last couple of weeks (btw, we're only there at the same time once a week). It's annoying me but at the same time I'm egging it on a bit because I AM attracted to him.
It literally makes me mad. I guess I'm mad at myself for letting myself fall for it, because with my track record, he's probably only paying attention to me to entertain himself and thinking about it is not going to amount to much. yes, I'm a cynic I know.
True.
With me, with every guy I've ever been interested in, this cycle ensues:
1. find a guy attractive, start talking to them when i get the opportunity, trying to get to know things about them.
2. spend months agonizing over it, not knowing whether they feel the same way
3. finally get fed up and tell them i like them
4. they kindly reject me with one of the following.
a. i have a girlfriend/wife/baby mama
b. i am gay
c. you are too good for me, i am a loser
There have been a couple of one offs that have used me for what they wanted then stopped talking to me, and then a really crazy situation that just won't get out of my life... but otherwise it's been all the same, over and over, which is potentially why I get a sinking feeling in my stomach when someone attractive is giving me attention, rather than that little rush of excitement. i just don't want to go through the same cycle again and again.
1. See any girl, attractive or otherwise.
2. Look at her, but break eye contact if she happens to look my way.
3. Get pissed off years later when I hear she got married.
True.
With me, with every guy I've ever been interested in, this cycle ensues:
1. find a guy attractive, start talking to them when i get the opportunity, trying to get to know things about them. 2. spend months agonizing over it, not knowing whether they feel the same way
3. finally get fed up and tell them i like them
4. they kindly reject me with one of the following.
a. i have a girlfriend/wife/baby mama
b. i am gay
c. you are too good for me, i am a loser
I think for now on, if we feel that way...somethings wrong. Why on earth should someone who's together feel unsure about where its headed? Its not us who's wrong, its something that they are doing (or not doing) thats making us feel like that. Then when we by-pass it, all of sudden we find out.
It always rears its ugly head somewhere down the line
Sounds as though you don't have much going for yourself in past relationships. Could it be that most of us just can't see the most direct route to getting to the bottom of all the dancing around that usualy accompany the "meet up"? Just ask him if he's avalable to do something fun around the area, art shows, music in the park, auto racing, something that will let you see him in a social setting and likewise for him. If Men can't be a friend first, then Women have no right to expect anything from them besides the usual crap of "lets go to bed'. Once you ask him to do something, and he either accepts or rejects, you will have the satisfaction that you now know that you can act first, that you don't have to wait and pretend to be some victorian wisp, you say you're a cynic but I don't see a cynic, I see someone who isn't used to taking charge of situations as they arise. Self empowerment is a tool to be used when the other person won't or can't reveal their true intentions, believe me, most men hope you Women aren't capable of figuring this out for yourselves. Men are, for the most part, afraid of Women, that's why they won't just be direct in their intentions, you'll find that you will have less rotten men in your life when you decide to quit being predictable at the moment of the meet up. Plan your work, and work your plan.......
Be a better friend to yourself and don't think it to death. You seem like the type that thinks things through way into the future without giving a person an honest chance to get to know you. You can "what if" things to exhaustion and never come up with an answer. Take it one day at a time, and don't sabotage a potential friendship/relationship until they give you reason. There are worse things you will need to contend with in life besides rejection.
I think very few people find Mr/Mrs right the first second or even third try. I think what you are going thru is completely normal. As a previous poster said--dont think so much. Of course, what do I know? I absolutely ADORE nerdy women!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sometimes do the same, usually when I'm abit stressed or not relaxed. Its your way of putting up a barrier to safeguard yourself from possible negative ramifications.
Sounds as though you don't have much going for yourself in past relationships. Could it be that most of us just can't see the most direct route to getting to the bottom of all the dancing around that usualy accompany the "meet up"? Just ask him if he's avalable to do something fun around the area, art shows, music in the park, auto racing, something that will let you see him in a social setting and likewise for him. If Men can't be a friend first, then Women have no right to expect anything from them besides the usual crap of "lets go to bed'. Once you ask him to do something, and he either accepts or rejects, you will have the satisfaction that you now know that you can act first, that you don't have to wait and pretend to be some victorian wisp, you say you're a cynic but I don't see a cynic, I see someone who isn't used to taking charge of situations as they arise. Self empowerment is a tool to be used when the other person won't or can't reveal their true intentions, believe me, most men hope you Women aren't capable of figuring this out for yourselves. Men are, for the most part, afraid of Women, that's why they won't just be direct in their intentions, you'll find that you will have less rotten men in your life when you decide to quit being predictable at the moment of the meet up. Plan your work, and work your plan.......
oh no, oh no, you just don't even know how many times I've taken the initiative and either have gotten rejected outright, gotten used, or just have them stop speaking to me... or in some cases, they wind up gay of course.
so in my head the problem IS me making the effort.
the fact that I feel like I refuse to make the effort, and he's acting like he might be interested while dancing around the whole idea, might be what's annoying me.
at this rate though, i can't seem to avoid him.
he does know i'm not going to be working there that much longer
(I'm going to grad school, i.e. another reason I don't have time for this crap with guys. )
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
