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To the extent that your behavior affects your thoughts, values, mentality, and expectations; and those in turn affect society when you interact with it; yes, much of what you do in private can still be someone else's business. I'm not telling anyone what to do. But I can say with absolute certainty that you do not need porn. That is no opinion; it's a fact.
Further, your first paragraph is full of assumptions. I posted the following in the other thread, and I'll post it here for someone ELSE to read (since it means nothing to you).
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The other line of evidence deals with "non-aggressive" pornography, that which excludes rape and violence, but graphically depicts all other forms of sex (groups, homosexuals, switching, anal, oral, etc.). Massive exposure to this kind of pornography was found to: (1) desensitize the viewers to the material's breaking of sexual taboos, causing the viewers to become more accepting of it and much less concerned about its negative effects; (2) cause the viewers to regard rape as a more trivial offense, with men particularly showing major increases of sexual callousness toward women; (3) increase the viewers' loss of compassion for women as rape victims. In a sense, then, this kind of pornography as male entertainment promotes the victimization of women.
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The following link cites another study with the same results, along with countless studies that make the connection between violent pornography and rape clear.
Note that Zillmann's study defines "massive exposure" as LESS THAN FIVE HOURS IN SIX WEEKS. For those of you dismissing the first study's findings with "Oh, I don't watch THAT much porn", you may want to take a second look at your routine.
Another link for your overlooking- op! reading pleasure directs you to a study but first summarizes it for you...
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This paper quantitatively summarizes the literature examining the association between acceptance of rape myths and exposure to pornography. In this meta-analysis, nonexperimental methodology shows almost no effect (exposure to pornography does not increase rape myth acceptance), while experimental studies show positive effect (exposure to pornography does increase rape myth acceptance). Although the experimental studies demonstrate that violent pornography has more effect than nonviolent pornography, nonviolent pornography still demonstrates an effect.
" Exposure to Pornography and Acceptance of Rape Myths - Allen - 2006 - Journal of Communication - Wiley Online Library
For those of you who don't know, the rape myth is basically that women on some level WANT to be raped.
Actually, rape in the US has declined 85% in the last 25 years since porn has been made available. That's a study done at Northwestern University school of law found here:
Japan is known for it's wide array of pornography, especially graphic rape scenes. Japan's rape per capita 0.014 per 1000 people. Whereas the United States, which has very stern restrictions against rape porn, has a rape per capita of 0.4 per 1000 people. Japan's rape rate is much lower even though it produces much more graphic rape porn.
So anyone can play the google facts to defend your point game. Except my facts are actually number facts, and yours are psychological polls. Give us some valid evidence that proves your point. Not psychology studies trying to correlate one thing with another.
Actually, rape in the US has declined 85% in the last 25 years since porn has been made available. That's a study done at Northwestern University school of law found here:
Japan is known for it's wide array of pornography, especially graphic rape scenes. Japan's rape per capita 0.014 per 1000 people. Whereas the United States, which has very stern restrictions against rape porn, has a rape per capita of 0.4 per 1000 people. Japan's rape rate is much lower even though it produces much more graphic rape porn.
So anyone can play the google facts to defend your point game. Except my facts are actually number facts, and yours are psychological polls. Give us some valid evidence that proves your point. Not psychology studies trying to correlate one thing with another.
The only issue I and other critics have with the first article is that it's a correlation being reported, not the results of an experiment. Correlation does not show causation. For instance, who's to say there isn't a third factor (or many more factors) driving the change in both variables? D'Amato is a lawyer, so he naturally collected facts that MAY be relevant and reported them; whereas a psychologist would conduct labratory experiments to determine what happens DUE to plays on an independent variable rather than along with them.
Also, I'm not finding your specific numbers on either of the links you gave for that second argument, though I'm guessing they're supposed to be in the mix of numbers in the Wikipedia article. But even so, this too is pointing at statistics that show correlation at best. It doesn't effectively tie the two variables together in any way. But, consider:
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The definition of rape in Japan is limited to vaginal penetration by a penis, therefore excluding forced oral and anal penetration and penetration by any other object, as well as rape of men.
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And I have NO idea where you get "psychological polls" from. I posted results of studies conducted which monitor the change in opinions, attitudes, and of course a large number of statistics of my own.
Every man looks at porn, and many ladies enjoy it also. It can be his full time pastime, which is bad, or it can be viewed over a glass of wine, with his wife, so both can enjoy...
Don't be hurt, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Talk to him about it, join him in watching. Be open minded and investigate it.
Divorced prude, or happily married, open minded wife...? You decide...
All men do NOT look at porn.
And not sure what you mean by open-minded. Is that open-minded as in sure, look at other women while you pleasure yourself? Sex is about a couple, not one person.
If she's not happy with the porn and he keeps watching it, she's not happily married, even if she decides not to take up this issue with him. You can't force someone to like something.
Harpies like that generally get left before they can leave. No man with testicular fortitude will tolerate a woman snooping and bossing him around like that. If I were her man, I'd tell her to go jump off a cliff.
The OP never said she was snooping.
I know someone who came home unexpectedly and found her husband masturbating while watching porn. She "caught" him but not because she was snooping. And what if her daughter walked in first before her instead of the other way around? Who wants their child to see that? Pregnant women can and do have sex but some men prefer to pleasure themselves rather than do something differently with their wives to make it pleasurable for both of them. That is selfish and I can see why it would bother someone. Of course, we are all speculating because no one here kows what is going on with the OP.
[quote=truth109;8838407]this is the secound time ive caught him, i dont know what to do, i want to do the right thing, should i work with him, im hurt and upset, we are married with one kid and one on theway. should i leave him but what would i do?[/QU
I feel you. Been there. Dumped my first hubby with no hesitation; even though we had a kid. He is still a porn addict and all of his relationships struggled.
Dumped a second husband for, he was more interested in "live chat" than a reality.
It is a disaster. I am now in a healthy relationship, when my man only wants to do things with me, because he knows better.
Highly recommend to get some help here.
this is the secound time ive caught him, i dont know what to do, i want to do the right thing, should i work with him, im hurt and upset, we are married with one kid and one on theway. should i leave him but what would i do?
All men look at porn. Always have, always will, not a thing you can do about it. Deal with it.
And not sure what you mean by open-minded. Is that open-minded as in sure, look at other women while you pleasure yourself? Sex is about a couple, not one person.
If she's not happy with the porn and he keeps watching it, she's not happily married, even if she decides not to take up this issue with him. You can't force someone to like something.
This seems the case here. Just dealing with it when she's obviously not okay with something doesn't sound like the OP is in a happy relationship. Some will like the porn, some won't.
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