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lol good point, choose better friends! I mean cmon. I know its hard to let go of some old friendships, but if they're out there looking for attention, and your not cause your married, then theyre not a friend for you sorrrry!
When I used to go out with my one friend, we'd get hit on all the time. We'd tell they guys that it was very sweet of them, but that we were 'together' and we take our vows seriously and are not at all interested. They'd watch us like hawks the rest of the evening, but we usually didn't have do deal with anyone continually trying to buy us drinks, dance with us or get our phone numbers.
There's nothing wrong with having a girls night out. No matter how serious your relationship is, your partner is entitled to spend time with her friends just as you're entitled to spend time with yours. Girls have a girls night out. Guys might have a poker night. You and your partner can't be expected to spend every bit of your free time with one another. If you trust your partner, her going out with her single friends to a bar for happy hour shouldn't be an issue. Even if they got drunk and started flirting with guys, that shouldn't be an issue as long as it's just harmless flirting. If you're worried that your partner will use these events to hook up with someone else, then you obviously don't trust her. If that's the case, then you need to ask yourself why. Does it have something to do with her and her behavior? Or is it more about your insecurities?
Denny, I don't believe in "harmless flirting". If it's something I couldn't do in front of my spouse (if I were married), then I shouldn't be doing it behind his back, either. Besides, even if the husband was okay with this, is it really a good idea to flirt with drunken men who are looking for nothing more than a good time? What if the guy doesn't want to take "no" for an answer?!
But what's more likely to happen is that the wife would be tempted (all of the attention + alcohol + party atmosphere = potential disaster!). Even if she didn't do anything that night, the seeds of discontent have been sown. Suddenly she'd rather be out with her friends than home with her family. It's far better to refrain from putting yourself into a situation that might have ramifications far beyond what you intended.
Look, if a woman makes up her mind to cheat, she's going to find a way to cheat, whether she's doing it on girls' night or during her expedition to the grocery store or CostCo (I mean, if her run to WalMart winds up taking four hours, you should probably wonder). She will find friends who will cover for her, and she will do it. Women are sneakier than men, and women are typically more likely to cover for other women with the convenient alibi.
So if you have a nagging suspicion that you're being cheated on, you should focus on finding evidence, not trying to put her in a cage every night.
Denny, I don't believe in "harmless flirting". If it's something I couldn't do in front of my spouse (if I were married), then I shouldn't be doing it behind his back, either. Besides, even if the husband was okay with this, is it really a good idea to flirt with drunken men who are looking for nothing more than a good time? What if the guy doesn't want to take "no" for an answer?!
But what's more likely to happen is that the wife would be tempted (all of the attention + alcohol + party atmosphere = potential disaster!). Even if she didn't do anything that night, the seeds of discontent have been sown. Suddenly she'd rather be out with her friends than home with her family. It's far better to refrain from putting yourself into a situation that might have ramifications far beyond what you intended.
I think that's being a bit unreasonable. After all, people in relationships check out others all the time. Obviously, I'm not going to admire some hot 22 year old while my wife or girlfriend is with me nor would I expect her to stare at the muscular cop with me their with her. It's normal for people to look at people other than their partner just as it's normal to lightly flirt with others. As long as it never goes beyond that, I don't see what the big deal is.
As for the temptation argument, I think if you're someone who gives into temptation, that says a lot about you and your commitment to your partner. If all it takes is alcohol for my partner to cheat on me, then I'm better off without her. Not putting yourself in situations where you might be tempted seems rather extreme to me. No matter where you go, you will always be subjected to some kind of temptation. Instead of avoiding it, why not learn to deal with it?
I think that's being a bit unreasonable. After all, people in relationships check out others all the time. Obviously, I'm not going to admire some hot 22 year old while my wife or girlfriend is with me nor would I expect her to stare at the muscular cop with me their with her. It's normal for people to look at people other than their partner just as it's normal to lightly flirt with others. As long as it never goes beyond that, I don't see what the big deal is.
As for the temptation argument, I think if you're someone who gives into temptation, that says a lot about you and your commitment to your partner. If all it takes is alcohol for my partner to cheat on me, then I'm better off without her. Not putting yourself in situations where you might be tempted seems rather extreme to me. No matter where you go, you will always be subjected to some kind of temptation. Instead of avoiding it, why not learn to deal with it?
I have to agree that it's unreasonable to expect someone not to look. You're commited, not blind. I fully expect my bf to look - in fact if I see someone that's hot that I think he'd like, I'll even point her out to him. As long as he's not leering and making a tush of himself, I really have no problem with it. And he'll do the same for me if he thinks the guy is hot - heck the only reason I'll watch some of the action shows he does is because I think the guys are hot. Otherwise I could care less about the program!
And I also agree that resisting from temptation is something you have to do regardless of the situation. It's all about responsibility and staying true to your personal values. Someone who wants to cheat will cheat regardless of girls night out.
I dont mind. I think its good to get out and about every once in a while. Sometimes, the wife and her group (usually about 7 or so other really hot women) would go out to a club to "audition" dancers for certain performances they have. Most of the time, these guys dont know they are being auditioned to perform. Thing is, Im in a what I believe to be a strong relationship with my wife. I know she wouldnt cheat as she knows I would never cheat. Its about trust.
Granted, if she was going out with all single chick friends who were looking to hookup that would be a different story.
Recently a friend from NY found out his wife was unfaithful on one of these girls night out outing. At first his wife kept on asking him she wanted a break to go out with her friends (all single women mind you). He was skeptical at first but then finally agreed.
She would go out once a month in the biginning and eventually it became a weekly gig. She cheated on him with a stripper at a stripper joint the "girls" decided to go to. He found out through a friend who was friends with the stripper.
They are separated now, 4 kids and a divorce is in the works.
What's your guy's take on "Girls Night Out"?
She was going to cheat on him no matter what...girls night out was not the cause. She got sick of being married and\or having the responsibilities and no longer loved her husband and wanted freedom.
Without the girls night out she would have eventually just asked for a divorce or had an affair via some other venue.
I think that it helps a lot if both partners treat the girls or boys night out as no big deal and not turning it into something wild and naughty.
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sorrrry!
