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My girlfriend just told me that she's 6 weeks pregnant.
Should i propose to her ?
I have doubts because marriage is a huge step and divorce isn't something i want
We've been best friends for 3 years and started dating about 6 months ago
I love her and it's been really amazing but marriage is a huge step
If you were me ,what would you do ?
The cavilear attitude towards having a child, and the whole "you don't have to get married" bit is a big problem. Why do people feel this way? Because they want to have sex without consequence. But you can't, and until people are held accountable we are going to have way too many kids being born to a single parent and the concept of "family" is going to continue to degrade because nobody want's to be responsible and everyone wants to stay free so they can take advantage of something/someone else who might come along and make them even HAPPIER. We want to be happy NOW (having sex with whoever) and happy LATER (don't want to get married evem if a baby is on the way) without worrying about what happens in between. It's kind of a selfish attitude to take and it really has effected society in a bad way.
I also agree that abortion is an option considering the circumstances and attitude.
After i read all the posts , i conclude that most female will feel offended if their husband/boyfriend ask them to do it
Having a paternity test would probably do more harm than good
I'll get confirmation but then she'll get insulted
I don't want her to think that i don't have a faith in her, it will hurt our relationship
Last edited by whitleybaby; 11-27-2009 at 04:48 AM..
Look, before you even think about proposing, I want you to ask yourself these questions:
1. Do you love her?
2. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her?
3. Are you prepared to settle down and lead the "married life"? Once you make a vow to her, do you intent to keep it?
These questions are obvious, but it's a good place to start. If you've said "yes" to all three, then keep going.
4. Do you have your financial life in order - or at least manageable? If not, will you and her be able to agree on how to settle things? Do you both have a similar outlook on how your finances will be managed?
5. Are you willing and able to work with someone to run a household? This involves everything from major financial decisions to simple chores. Sometimes, after a long, hard day at work, you'll be asked to help out with things - are you responsible enough to do that?
6. Can you communicate effectively with her about all things - including intimacy, spirituality, and conflict resolution?
7. Can you patiently listen with an intent to understand when she has something important to say? Do you understand how she needs to feel loved?
These are all things to think about - and this is just a very small sampling of the questions that you need to ask yourself before you even consider marrying her. Thing is, nobody is perfect, we can't do every one of these things in every situation - But, just by sitting down and really thinking about these things will help alleviate a lot of your confusion.
Personally, my advice is this: Wait until you're 100% sure that this is the person you want to spend your life with.
Even if things don't work out, you still have a responsibility to this child. That ALWAYS comes first, no matter what. You can have a healthy relationship with the child, and have a mature relationship with the mother as well, even if the two of you aren't together.
My friend, I wish you well..
1,2,3. Yes
4. Business doing pretty amazing so my financial condition is in order. My folks also just inherit their home to me so i got the home section covered
5. I'll try to do my best
6. We can talk almost about everything, we were (and still until now) bestfriend for 3 years.
7. Yes
The think is one of few reasons i'm considering to propose is family pressure
Her family is from deep southern, having a child out of wedlock would be unacceptable
Just few hours ago, she called her parents to deliver the good news and just like what i expected they're not exciting
They want us to get marry soon no matter what
We just don't want this baby to be "exiled"
I really appreciate all the opinions that you all have posted, many thanks
If relatives are going to "exile" an innocent child just because ya'll had sex, got pregnant and didn't get married, then I really wouldn't want them around the child anyway.
Forget tradition. Don't do it for the child or "because it's the right thing to do." At the very least, wait and see. Don't let anyone or anything pressure you into marriage.
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