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Your situation would be extremely tough on anyone and very few could survive the demands and limitations.
My wife went through cancer treatments which luckily only went for 6 months and life went back to normal. The tough part of your situation is that it will not get better.
You will probably not get responses you seek here since this does not happen for most couples till old age and few young people will have this life experience. You are stronger than I probably could be, you are basically giving up your life to be a care giver.
The tough part would be to determine if you stay because of love or the feeling of obligation. I would hope you have some religion or faith in your life. These things can be a struggle that sometimes requires a prayer to "The Big Guy"
No, it's totally fine. I put it out there and didn't even explain what I have been going through. Or I guess I should say what my husband is going through...Anyway, I appreciate you all for your support. It's nice to have somewhere to get all that out. It's just hard sometimes. Thanks again!
It's not just what he is going through - you are going through it to. It's important that you remember that. I have an aunt who married a man with MS. 12 years down the line she will tell you she loves him with all her heart - he's in a wheelchair and requires full time care now that she provides him. He can't talk, walk, clean himself, feed himself. She has devoted herself to him because she thought that was what she was supposed to do - what her vows said. WRONG. She has run herself into the ground. She is unhealthy because she was so busy taking care of him that she neglected herself.
Take care of you first because without your health, you can't help him.
I'm not going to put as much info out there... but suffice it to say that my ladyfriend is a cancer survivor of two-plus years. While she is doing better in many ways, there are medium-to-long-term side effects that dovetail with what you are experiencing. It's not easy as she not only feels bad for herself but for me as, quoting her, "You didn't sign up for this." But we soldier on...
I am so sorry and can relate to some degree. I didn't really plan to share my story here, but felt it might be helpful to you to see it from a different perspective. I have been battling lupus and fibromyalgia since 2002 and it has put a strain on every aspect of our lives. My husband, kids, and I have all been negatively impacted by my health issues and it's so frustrating. No matter how much I wish things could be different, I know they never will be. It isn't easy knowing that you cause pain for your loved ones and make their lives harder than they should be. It's taken us awhile to get accustomed to our new reality and the changes in our lives, but we finally got into a comfortable routine with everything.
A couple of months ago I thought, "This is going to be okay. We can live like this. We're going to make it." That's when we found out I had breast cancer. I felt like the bottom had fallen out from underneath us - again - because of me. I had a mastectomy right before Thanksgiving, so that holiday was ruined for my family (although they claimed it was fine because we were all together), and now I'm trying to salvage Christmas. My husband and teenagers have been wonderful throughout this whole process, but I really worry about the strain this puts on them. I'm hoping to bounce back, adjust to this new development, and have our lives regain some normalcy soon because it's hard to be a burden to the people who love you. On the other hand, I don't know what I would've done without my family and friends throughout all of this. I wish you well and admire your dedication to your husband. I know it is not an easy journey, but have found that the love and dedication of your loved ones makes it all bearable. I wish you well and will send good thoughts and prayers your way.
I am so sorry and can relate to some degree. I didn't really plan to share my story here, but felt it might be helpful to you to see it from a different perspective. I have been battling lupus and fibromyalgia since 2002 and it has put a strain on every aspect of our lives. My husband, kids, and I have all been negatively impacted by my health issues and it's so frustrating. No matter how much I wish things could be different, I know they never will be. It isn't easy knowing that you cause pain for your loved ones and make their lives harder than they should be. It's taken us awhile to get accustomed to our new reality and the changes in our lives, but we finally got into a comfortable routine with everything.
A couple of months ago I thought, "This is going to be okay. We can live like this. We're going to make it." That's when we found out I had breast cancer. I felt like the bottom had fallen out from underneath us - again - because of me. I had a mastectomy right before Thanksgiving, so that holiday was ruined for my family (although they claimed it was fine because we were all together), and now I'm trying to salvage Christmas. My husband and teenagers have been wonderful throughout this whole process, but I really worry about the strain this puts on them. I'm hoping to bounce back, adjust to this new development, and have our lives regain some normalcy soon because it's hard to be a burden to the people who love you. On the other hand, I don't know what I would've done without my family and friends throughout all of this. I wish you well and admire your dedication to your husband. I know it is not an easy journey, but have found that the love and dedication of your loved ones makes it all bearable. I wish you well and will send good thoughts and prayers your way.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. My mom and my mother-in-law are both battling breast cancer and believe me I know it's no walk in the park, but you can beat it! My thoughts are with you and your family this Christmas. You are probably less of a burden than you think. I know my mom feels that she is a burden when in fact her cancer has made our family closer than ever!
Bless you Sunnydee and MsRiss.
It's stories like this that make some of the others seem even shallower than they are.
I'll leave her if she get's fat.
I'll dump him if he goes bald.
In a truly commited relationship these things just don't matter. And it's not until you're in one that you realize it.
I always say..find someone you can talk to because later on that might be all you have.
Bless you Sunnydee and MsRiss.
It's stories like this that make some of the others seem even shallower than they are.
I'll leave her if she get's fat.
I'll dump him if he goes bald.
In a truly commited relationship these things just don't matter. And it's not until you're in one that you realize it.
I always say..find someone you can talk to because later on that might be all you have.
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