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This post is just way too interesting not to reply to.
A little background on myself. I've actually been through the same thing you have with the exception of some minor details. I wasn't always on top of my game and spent a decent amount of time unemployed, wasted, and dating the bottom rungs of women.
The thing is, I'm not talking about work, I'm talking about women that...
Want to freeload
Want to entrap you with kids/marriage
Want to prevent you from doing self-developing things (dieting, working out, keeping good track of finances)
Are just plain envious when you make progress.
Truth be told that's precisely what happened to me. My girlfriend who I had been dating for a good 3 years went absolutely bat**** crazy when I decided to radically change my life. I dieted, worked out, and studied myself into a solid computer science career.
At the end of those 3 years I was making 90,000/yr+, I had my own place in a good neighborhood, I was fit, in shape and having the time of my life.
During this time my girlfriend became increasingly controlling and volatile. She was suspicious of me cheating and only because now she knew I was attractive enough to do so with many people, this obviously displayed that she didn't think much of my self control or loyalty seeing as how she only believed I didn't cheat before because I "couldn't" in her eyes.
Unfortunately for her my main attractive quality is my charm :-)
So some time passed and I wanted to "upgrade" as well. Backtrack a bit, before I decided to upgrade I also decided that having children wasn't for me. I had a vasectomy done after I had already decided that I would break up with her in about a month.
This is where I was kind of a jerk. I knew she wanted children and spent another 6 months with her.
Now... during our relationship she:
Lived at my apt - never paid rent
Ate my food - never paid for food
We went out - I paid
Mind you she is not unemployed she just makes less than I do, most of her money was spent on hair extensions, premium clothing and make up.
She then did some things that reminded me of your situation...
Long story short after we broke up she tried pulling the "I'm pregnant, it's yours" BS. She wasn't pregnant, it was hilarious because I let her pull it knowing she wasn't. She tried from then on to "behave" and have lots of sex with me trying to get pregnant.
I then dumped her after revealing the truth. It's been 2 years since then. She's pregnant with some drugged out unemployed stoner's baby and I'm moving to Brazil to start a networking business. The only difference perhaps between you and I is that I live a womanless life. I take care of myself and have no intentions of having children. I love life this way and wouldn't have it any other way.
There are a few very attractive female friends of mine I sleep with and we are incredibly mature about it. They are also very successful and understanding, not to mention stupidly hot.
So yes be selective, extremely selective. Get the woman you want, the one you desire, the one you want to win over. Just remember that there are a lot of hot women out there so don't get sprung, treat them like dirt they'll stick forever to the bottom of your shoe.
So yes, go, leave, let her "find someone better" if by better the crowd here means an unmotivated self loathing INSECURE parasite like the woman you are currently dating. Chances are she will turn into a fatass in the future anyway.
oh and for all the moral haters out there. I've never been more successful in relationships, dating, ****ing around, picking up women, and doing whatever it is I wanted to in regards to women until I started acting like a confident dick. Until I started putting my priorities above theirs, until I started controlling things.
Guess what? Turns out women love confident men that are in control and don't give a **** what they think. No matter what they tell you here that is the real truth. I bet 99% of the haters here would meet me on the street and think I was the "perfect guy".
You want different things, yet neither of you seems to be letting go and moving on. But since you're asking, sure, go for an upgrade. You may or may not find one, but you know the risks and also know that you may not find someone who will purposefully have your child without being married.
Girl Friend 2.0 may not be any better than 1.0, but I was delighted with my upgrade to Wife 2.0! LOL
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No need to share your personal problems/lack of a sex life, Jays.
