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i think this touches on some of the real questions.
does he like the equipment (penis). does he like the image of femininity. does he like the femininity, plus the equipment?
ultimately i think the OP's friend is figuring out what he likes. its hard to do when you have social contraints that shame you all the way back into the victorian age.
the person in questions should just continue to experiment and not worry about labels, but at the same time realize that labels such as gay, trans, etc do come with significant meaning and significant personal meaning. what they mean exactly to him is for him to findout.
best you can do is be an understanding friend.
its good that you are understanding.
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Originally Posted by floridadreamer
Has he turned down sex with men simply because he doesn't find their "type" attractive? (maybe he would prefer feminine men) Or is he simply not interested in their equipment? I agree as well he seems way more worried about what he will be labeled. Is sleeping with a transexual the same as sleeping with a man? I don't think it would be considered the same. There are actually male transexuals that sleep with women, would they be considered gay or straight? This conversation could go on forever, and I honestly don't think you'd have an answer to the question, "Is my friend gay?"
Tell him to send a letter to Dan Savage. I'm sure he'd do a better job analyzing this than us.
But either which way, doesn't sound like he's gay. He'll explore, and in doing so discover what only he can know. Be supportive, because he'll need that.
I believe in this wholeheartedly. I don't consider myself bisexual or bicurious in the least bit, but I have on one occasion met a girl who made me go "hmm." I suppose I fall in the 98.6%/1.4% category lol.
Your friend is probably just figuring stuff out. Be a good friend. Don't be judgmental unless he's hurting himself or others (or into animals).
I don't see how any of us could judge, seems like he is very confused with his sexuality, and nothing wrong with that. I tend to think he is not Gay, but not quite sure on that. He needs to explore his feelings, to see where his true sexuality lies. My friends who are Gay are exactly that, no women no how no where, any time no. They want men only. Friends of mine who are lesbians, yes i have all kinds of friends, are a little different, some not all of them who are, can go both ways, where most of my gay friends, are just that. To eaches own. Me i love men and my hubby.
He (and you) won't know what choir he sings in until he explores all possibilities and hopefully when he does do some exploring, he's safe.
I have a couple of gay male friends and yes, it's a difficult thing to do coming out especially when you have friends that you are worried about disappointing in some way so in order to overcompensate, you find yourself doing all sorts of things that make no sense....
Better to encourage him to explore every avenue and whatever he chooses, as his friend you owe him that much by encouraging and supporting - even if you don't agree.
Kiss him. If he kisses you back he's probably gay.
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